Awesome Battle… How Did These Slip Under My Radar?

I’m an adult.  I know this.  I try to remind myself of this fact every day.  I own a house.  I drink beer legally.  I have to use my arms and my legs to stand up from sitting.

So it’s fitting that at least one of the items in this Awesome Battle contains the word adult

There is an incredible show on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim that no one but my friend, Chris, and I watch.

It’s entitled Delocated, and here’s a sample:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Sure, I should have set up the video, but I like to throw people in the deep end, let them get their feet wet and water in their lungs, you know.  Essentially, it’s a fake reality (?) show about a family in the witness protection program, and it’s so absurd I absolutely love it.  Season 2 premieres August 22, and I can’t believe I missed it during its initial run.

This second item… I’m not too proud about my excitement.

Apparently, some time between me leaving grade school and starting high school, these toys were out in stores:

Computer Warriors?!?  Fucking robots hiding inside soccer balls, flashlights, and Pepsi cans?!?  Mattel must have been trying to capitalize on the success of M.A.S.K. (my all-time favorite toy line) and Transformers, but just a tad too late or too early.  If these would have lasted on the market, or arrived on the scene two years later when I had my first job at a toy store, I would have had them all.

But I’m an adult.  I shouldn’t try winning some of them on eBay

…but I will.

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Musical Musings… What’s The Opposite Of A Silly Little Love Song?

I was going to start this post with the video for Wings’ Silly Love Songs, and then mention that the following songs were exactly the opposite of Paul McCartney’s fluffy attack on John Lennon.  So I did, but I don’t think that they are that different after all.

A love song is a love song is a love song is a sad testament to an abusive relationship.  You’ll see…

Green Day’s She

Sick Puppies’ Odd One

The Used’s Empty With You

The Offspring’s Self-Esteem

JusWondering… Does Everyone (Anyone?) Like The New Look?

This wasn’t working for me anymore:

So I decided that when I hit 50,000 page views, I’d mix it up.  Personally, I think it looks a lot nicer all cleaned up.

Here’s to the next 50,000!

(And for the guys on that It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia forum said this site was all messy and gave them a headache, I backtraced your email accounts and called the cyberpolice… you dun goofed!)

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… The Detroit Tigers (And Vice Versa For The Lions?)

Okay… dubbing the Detroit Tigers “The Shit” might be a bit much, but the recent turn of events has not boded well – hence them becoming “Just Shitty.” But the season’s not over, and the boys of summer can turn it around any second.  Or minute.  Or day now.  Perhaps it’s just a last season slump happening way ahead of schedule, and they can come back for a big finish?  Or maybe I’m dreaming…

But what else is a sports fan supposed to do in Detroit, other than dream?  How about dream big:

*sniff*

I seriously tear up every time I watch that video…

Happy Find… Not So Pure Michigan

I’ve written about locally produced advertisements before, but these homegrown commercials are spot on.  Enjoy!

In case you didn’t get it, these are actually courtesy of Not So Pure Michigan… The original commercials they are spoofing can be found here.  Check out the other videos on their site.  Hopefully there will be many more!

(Thanks to Steve for finding this!)

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Simpsons Of The Futurama

To post this picture first might give away the punchline, but here we go anywiggums:

The All-New Depressing Simpsons!

I’ve dreamed in cartoon only once before (and also in comic strip), but now I’m able to add another to the short list.

Somehow, I knew this episode of The Simpsons came from five years from now, when the show would be in something like its 30th season.  Clearly out of ideas, the yellow family revamped itself in this way:

  • In the opening of the episode, it is revealed that Bart won a contest to be home plate umpire in a major league game.
  • For the last call of the game, he calls an outside pitch a strike, and the fans storm the field and trample him, in effect, killing him.
  • Upon further review of the call, it’s revealed at Bart’s wake that he was 100% correct.
  • Despondent, the Simpsons seek out and adopt a baby from Africa that looks a lot like Hermes from Futurama (even though he’s Jamaican).
  • Also, Milhouse moves into their home, since he too is riddled with grief.
  • Every joke that’s attempted throughout the episode falls flat, and a beat following every punchline, Milhouse sobs over what the show has become…

…just like all the old fans.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Orko And The Scooby-Doo Brood

A wise man once said:

Do as I say, and as I BOOM!Michael Bay

Basically, what that translates into is if you’re lucky to find something that pleases the masses, give ’em more!

This Hollywood trick is also known as The Scooby-Doo Brood.  Almost as soon as the crime-solving canine entered the animated scene, he was a hit amongst his fans, so Hanna-Barbera thought, give ’em more!  And over the course of many, many years, Scooby was brought back and re-purposed in the forms of other family members.

He-Man and the Master of the Universe would later go on to do the same thing with kid-friendly favorite, Orko, and introduce his Trollan Scooby-Doo Brood.

Orko and Scooby-Doo

Orko is the original, just like Scooby-Doo.

Dree-Elle and Scooby-Dee

Dree-Elle is Orko’s love interest, while Scooby-Dee is… SD’s cousin?

Uncle Montork and Yabba-Doo

Well, Orko’s Uncle Montork is obviously his uncle; so Yabba-Doo is… SD’s brother?

Yuckers and Scrappy-Doo

Yuckers is Dree-Elle’s little brother, and Scrappy-Doo is SD’s nephew.  Hrm.

Snoob and Scooby-Dum

Snoob is a misguided Trollan wizard, and Scooby-Dum is just dumb.  I’m not seeing a pattern here at all…

Prankster (Wakrapanike) and Dooby-Doo

Prankster (his real name is Wakrapanike) is the only Trollan to reveal his face, and Dooby-Doo is a rare cousin of SD that has hair.  Aargh!  That’s not even close…

Doctor Zoog and Whoopsy-Doo

How about Doctor Zoog is an evil scientist, and Whoopsy-Doo is a clown…  Grrr!

Okay, well at least this counts:

The website Totally Looks Like states that Orko looks like the Black Mage from the Final Fantasy game series, but in all actuality, the Black Mage (created in 1987) looks like Orko (created in 1983)… BOOM!

And how’s this for a real-life Scrappy-Doo… DOUBLE BOOM!

(Trollan pics via Frank’s He-Man Page, everything else is from Google)