Month: May 2010

JusWondering… Who Needs More Help With Their Local Logos?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Although this tourism commercial for the state of Ohio was not as hastily made as these ads for Cleveland, it still feels like a video I’d make to try to get people to come over my house.

Hey everybody, I have a big screen TV!  It’s 50 inches, but it’s rear projection and not widescreen, but it lights up my living room in the night!

I have a Nintendo Wii, an XBox 360, and a Playstation 3, as well!  Except, I don’t have any batteries for my WiiMotes, my 360 isn’t hooked up to XBox Live, and I only have one controller for my PS3!

But I do have Pizza Rolls in my freezer, as well as a bottle of Southern Comfort!  Also, there are six cans of Miller Lite in my fridge, but you’ll have to turn on the kitchen light because the bulb in the fridge has been burnt out for years!

Come to my house!

Besides those commercials, they run terrible radio ads I haven’t been able to find.  So instead, howzabout a couple of local Michigan companies that could have taken another pass at designing their company logos:

And if you're for the opposing team, F U!

And if this doesn’t make you raise your rooftop, I don’t know what will:

"Garages Gone Wild"

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Name That Toy!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don't know what this robot does exactly, but I want it.

When I was in grade school, I loved two things: close-up image puzzles and toys…

…I guess some things never change.

Your mission in this So, Duh! Pop Quiz is to figure out the following toys based on the zoom-ins.  As if you couldn’t have figured that out.

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

6)

7)

(Answers after the jump) Read More

Hibbidy-Wah?! Foreign Pop Culture Is Foreign To Me

Posted on by sgottahurt

I consider myself to be quite the pop culture pundit.  American pop culture, that is.  I’d go as far as to say we as a nation created it, although that may not be entirely true.

Imagine my Hibbidy-Wah?! reaction when my co-worker pal Dave found this YouTube video of an Italian pop star that has over 10 million hits!  (I’m sure the view count has little to do with the song.)

Her full name is Sabrina Salerno and this song came out in 1987.  It hit the Top 5 in most European countries (of course), but as far as I could find, it never made its way here.  Let it be known that as of 2009, she was still releasing new music.

SIDENOTE: Are we sure the song isn’t really called, Buoys?

This leads me to a recent discovery of my own, and a reluctant admission.

— I enjoy watching crappy movies that are on Comcast’s OnDemand. —

There.  I said it.  It feels… like no big deal if I don’t list the turds I’ve subjected myself to, such as Toxic Avenger 1 & 2, Cherry 2000, Happy Birthday to Me, G.O.R.P., and most recently, Hot Bubblegum.

I miss clam shells...

What I thought was a foreign ripoff of Porky’s was actually the third film in series that inspired the American (and in Porky’s case – Canadian) sex romps.

The nine film series (what is this… American Pie?!) started with 1978’s Lemon Popsicle.  Here’s the preview:

To anyone up on their early 80’s filmography that might have looked familiar:

The Last American Virgin was directed by Boaz Davidson… the same guy that directed the first four Lemon Popsicle films!  (Think of it as precursor to our recent slew of American remakes of foreign films.)

I guess other than these revelations, I don’t have much else to say.  Other than this…

— They should remake Cherry 2000 with Megan Fox in Melanie Griffith’s role! —

I'm quite serious.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Meet Spongebob Drescher And Fran Squarepants

Posted on by sgottahurt

My brother caught this one and brought it to my attention…

Fran Drescher and Spongebob Squarepants share the same (or at least similar) annoying laugh.  If the proof is in the pudding, hopefully you enjoy marble and lemon meringue on your tongue.

THE MARBLE PUDDING (a chocolate and vanilla remix of a video I posted elsewhere…)!

THE LEMON MERINGUE PUDDING (because I like neither that flavor nor Mr. S.S…)!

BONUS PUDDING!

BONUS FOOD FOR THOUGHT THAT’S NOT PUDDING!

Bill Murray played Peter Venkman and Garfield on film; Lorenzo Music played Peter Venkman and Garfield on TV.

Via Wikipedia:

Since Lorenzo Music’s death, Frank Welker has often replaced him as the voice of Garfield the Cat in recent productions of the Garfield franchise… Frank Welker also provided the voice of Ray Stanz on The Real Ghostbusters, and Music… was replaced by Dave Coulier when Bill Murray complained to the studio that his character (Peter Venkman) sounded too much like Garfield.

Worth 1002 Words… Scared Mushrooms Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Trippin' Mushrooms

(via Bit and Run)

In My Brain While Sleeping… There’s An App For That?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I only give high-fives for Taco Bell...

 

This dream originally dealt with a weird cruise ship and a strange arcade, but it was odd in those ways you can’t explain. 

What I can explain was one stand-up arcade game that projected images on the touch screen that were to be emulated by using your hands, palms, and fingers.  Think Twister meets Flamin’ Finger. 

Regardless, the game would be much better suited on something portable, à la iPhone: 

("fingerpalm - what else were we going to call it" not available for Palm OS)

So for example, the above image would require the side of your right hand and one finger touch.  Possible?  No.  Fun?  Possibly. 

But if I could have my druthers, I’d rather have an app that could locate the closest Taco Bell to me at any given point. 

Taco Bell high-five!

If not that, then an app that played a pissing sound while I looked up answers to cheat at bar trivia… Don’t look at me like that!  Gift certificates that can be redeemed at a later date are on the line!

Musical Musings… What’s The Deal With The Music Circa 93-95?

Posted on by sgottahurt

The other day, BoDeans’ Closer to Free sneaked its way back onto my radio from 1993, and it refueled my loathing of it.  Why do I despise it?  Although it was the theme to Party of Five (and apparently in Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron), that’s not why I can’t stand it.  Just listen to it:

Ugh.

But then all of the sudden, a few other songs popped in my head that had long ago wore out their welcome (or never had a welcome in the first place), and that’s when I realized the title of this post (in the style of Seinfeld):

What’s the deal with some of the music that came out between 1993 and 1995?

Need examples? How about this 1993 song that’s actually from 1988.  It’s probably what started this sound scene…

Although I can still enjoy The Proclaimers’ I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) from time to rare time, I can no longer even tolerate The Rembrandts’ I’ll Be There For You.  Did you know it was written by the creators of Friends and shopped around?  OMG!  It was written by the creators of Friends and shopped around.

And then there was Blues Traveler’s Run-Around everywhere you turned (their Hook gets a pass – its video is quite the time capsule merely for containing the late host of Remote Control, Ken Ober):

Make it stop, you say.  I say here’s Spin Doctor’s Two Princes:

And howzabout Deadeye Dick’s New Age Girl:

Okay, that song I still like, and it has nothing to do with the song being in Dumb and Dumber.  (To be honest, I’m not a fan of The Farrelly Brothers.)  But this song has to be considered the death knell of the movement.  The nail in the coffin.  The Roll to Me by Del Amitri.  Seriously, this song sucks:

It’s all of this music’s fault that we still have to deal with these guys:

Hey, Dave Matthews Band!  What Would You Say if I said jam bands suck?

Awful Battle… Awesome Idea, Awful Execution

Posted on by sgottahurt

Is this an ad for a high-powered compact blender, or for swinging?  (It is called the Magic Bullet after all…)

Remember BluBlockers?  The marketers behind the HD Vision Wrap Arounds hope you don’t.

This I really want to be true.  I mean, if I did cook, I would cook with the NuWave Oven.

Does the Slim Clip really need an infomercial?

You probably have already witnessed this monstrosity of an ad for the Better Marriage Blanket, so here it is again!

InASense, Lost… Stuffed Animals Takes On A Whole Different Meaning

Posted on by sgottahurt

When does too much too much?

When does going too far become too far gone?

When does Mountain Dew become Mountain Done?

For uncensored, NSFW answers, click on this image.

(thanks to Urlesque and limited thanks to Etsy)

Happy Finds… Help! In Many Forms

Posted on by sgottahurt

This video has made it’s way around the ol’  TripleDoubleU a-plenty (why am I typing like that?), but that’s not gonna hinder me from a-placin’ it right ‘ere ag’in (it’s getting worse!)…

So wit’ that whole mess in mind, get yerself o’er ta this spiderweb sightin’ if’n ya might be fixin’ to help some kin:

(Click pic for link)

Kickstarter is a place one might find ’emselves at if yer lookin’ to be like tha ol’ kings and queens were wit’ dolin’ out fundin’ to projects like tha Moner Lisa or discoverin’ tha New World*.

If’n yer more inclined to offerin’ yer services at a whoppin’ five bones a crack, then look no further than Fiverr:

(Click pic for link)

Now if’n only someone could help me wit’ wha’ever ’tis I got goin’ on ‘ere, that’d be dandy.

(*not historically accurate)