Musical Musings… There Could Be Worse Ear Worms
Ever hear of Carly Rae Jepsen? Ever hear her song Tug of War? Well hear ya go!
May it get stuck in your head as it has mine.
Month: February 2009
JusWondering… Is This Bad? Or By Asking, Does That Make It Bad?
I don’t know if it would be politically incorrect to start marketing bumper stickers like these…
Touchy!
…or if it’s just plain old fashion funny (which I guess would make it politically incorrect)?
InASense, Lost… The Third Film Of A Series, Then In 3-D!
I’m on a bit of a Friday the 13th bender, and I’m happy to say that the third film in the series was originally in 3-D. Which in the olden days meant random objects were held up and pointed at you… Eeeeeek! Scary!
( Man, how I already miss Don LaFontaine.)
In this film, aside from the opening credits, I was “shocked” to have the following things aimed/thrown/extended at me:
- a laundry line
- a TV antenna
- a rat walking out on a plank
- a fake looking snake leaping
- a baseball bat held back by a child
- a joint
- a wrapped-up eyeball
- a bundle of hay
- a wallet
- a chain through a windshield
- a fist threw a car window
- a yo-yo
- a girl climbing a ladder
- a pitchfork (its handle)
- a pitchfork (its… forks)
- a double dose of different pitchfork handles
- a machete blade, walking by
- juggling apples and oranges
- a harpoon shot… (also the first time Jason wears his hockey mask)
- popping popcorn
- a hot fire poker
- an eyeball popping out of a squeezed head (SRSLY)
- a bookshelf full of books
- a girl (our hero) dropping from rafters
- then Jason dropping as well
- finally, Jason’s chasin’ hands (<–good band name, btw)
With the reinvigorated hoopla about 3-D films, I can’t wait to see what will be thrust at me next!
Happy Find… Billy Mays Dubs
I feel like when I even write about Billy Mays, I should WRITE IN CAPS! He’s the RonCo for a new generation. As ubiquitous as he is, and as pretentious as that sounds, toilet humor has never been better than in these dubs of his commercials. I had trouble picking which ones to highlight, so I picked three and gave you a heads up what you might find in them if you’re SHORT ON TIME!
If someone decides to take a shit in the bathtub or have sex in a vase, check this one out:
If you can relate to this level of hate: “Look at this rug, I hate this rug, I’m going to ruin this rug!” Check this one out:
If when you’re outside picking up shit, you’re afraid the kids are inside stealing your food, then check this one out:
You can check out the rest at JaboOodyDubs YouTube page.
(via FilmDrunk)
In My Brain While Sleeping… Drugs, YouTube, Annoying Hosts, And Soup
Okay… I wasn’t going to post this dream, but it hasn’t stopped me before. You may wish that I’d stuck to my guns, but I misfired.
The bulk of the dream consisted of the introduction of a new drug called something like Avilify. Basically, by taking this pill daily, your body maintained a homeostatic temperature that kept you comfortable whether you were in 110° F or -10° F (sorry, but I don’t know Celsius). Another feature of the product was you only needed six hours of sleep per day. You couldn’t sleep more and you couldn’t sleep less.
Ask your doctor all about it! Because we sure won't tell you what it does in the commercials!
While this is all fine and dandy as far as dreams go, the part I’m leary to bring up is… well, Ryan Seacrest and I became friends.
How that came to be was I was the head of marketing for Avility, and he was to be the spokesman. We ended up making YouTube videos of him mocking celebrity advertisements, like the film Crazy People did.
Example:
What my Grandma used to make me eat.
In effect, his popularity soared even more, and I made crap loads of money. Avilify changed my life!
JusWondering… Whatever Happened To Jazzercise?
I stopped by the video store I used to work at last night to visit my brother, Scott, (and to pick up Friday the 13th: Parts 1 and 2 ‘natch). As I looked around, I kind of missed the old joint. And it wasn’t so much the unlimited access to all the DVD’s (considering I have way more than enough at home), but it was the strange things that used to happen there.
One common occurrence was us workers would be talking about some random old film, and shortly thereafter someone would return that exact film. There are plenty of things I could go on about, but maybe I’ll save that for another post.
I stopped by on my way to soccer, and my sister’s fiance Will (the Monk Lookalike) happened to be up there at the same time. Weird.
My old friend and former manager, Crystal, brought up the fact she stumbled upon pictures of a trip a huge group of us took to Chicago years and years ago. A few days ago, the very same trip was brought up by some of the others that been on it. Kinda weird.
As I was walking out, some dude was looking at the Coming Attractions booklet that’s stacked on the end of the counter. Our exchange:
Dude – “Dude, I can’t believe it’s coming out.”
Crystal, Scott, and I keep talking to each other.
Dude – “I knew it was going to be called Still Waiting. It’s coming right to DVD.”
Me – “So you’re still waiting for Still Waiting.”
Dude gave me the thumbs up. He showed me this picture:
...Let's wait someplace else...
I laughed. “I thought Still Waiting was a suspense movie, like (*spooky voice*) Stiiiilllll Waaaaaiiitttiiinnggg. Not the sequel.” Scott and Crystal laughed, and I went on my merry way.
(SIDENOTE: Weird things happen all the time if you pay attention. Another example occurred a couple days ago. I passed this store named “NEVETS” and I realized it was STEVEN backwards. This made me think of my cousin, and how he’s been watching old “Twilight Zone” episodes lately. Right after that, the radio played the show’s theme in a commercial.)
How many times do I have to tell you to CLEAN THIS ROOM UP!
(ANOTHER SIDENOTE: At trivia the other night, I teased my friend, Devin, who was hosting the game, by calling my team, “I’ll Be Teaching Jazzercise after the Show.” His clothing choices were a bit 80’s, so when he had to announce our name, it made us laugh. But it spooked the ladies who were playing at the table next to us. Our exchange:
Lady – “That was you guys who made that name?”
Me – “Yeah, because of how Devin’s dressed.”
Lady (pointing to her friend) – “We thought it was because we just joined a Jazzercise group, and had our first class earlier tonight.” At which point she opened her coat to reveal her Jazzercise logo emblazoned t-shirt.
You got to love the Symphony of Life.)
Come on and shake that azz for me, shake that azz for me!
In My Brain While Sleeping… Friday The 13th Reboot (My Version)
Hello. Sean here. (So am I.)
Oh yeah, that’s my brain. Say hi. (Hi.)
In the midst of my many snoozes, it occurred to me that the new Friday the 13th remake isn’t sticking to its source material. (How’s that?)
In the original film, Jason Voorhees was not the killer. His mother was. (Should you have put a spoiler alert? Someone may not have wanted to know this.) She avenged his alleged drowning while in the hands of irresponsible, sex-crazed teens. Starting withthe second film, he avenged the death of his mother. In the third film, he starts wearing the hockey goalie mask (it’s based on one from the 50’s Detroit Red Wings).
If this film is a sequel, it’s ignoring the last few films in the series, whereas if it’s a remake, it’s ignoring the first film. If it’s a reboot, then how does Jason come to be? Well my dreams may have found the answer.
He's such a cut up.
- The first dream between snoozes involved a golf cart on a log raft that tipped over and sunk into Crystal Lake.
- The second dream involved a girl crossing the lake with a boy, and then boy jumped out and swam to shore. More ridiculous versions of this continued until my conscious (and subconscious) met…
- (NOTE: I was going to reference as many versions of the dream as there were sequels, but quite frankly, they were pretty repetitive… just like the films!)
- In the final dream that woke me up, Jason Voorhees came to be like this:
On one side of Crystal Lake was a fat camp, and on the other side was a sports camp. A chubbier girl would meet with one of the guys and they would get it on in the sports camp. The guy was a real dick and he’d laugh to all his friends about how she keeps coming back for more. Through the summer, she loses no weight, and in fact puts on more… because she’s pregnant. When she reveals this to the boy, he breaks up with her. All his friends sabotage her boat while they argue. She asks him for a keepsake and he gives her one. At the center of Crystal Lake, her boat becomes waterlogged. As she sinks, welcoming her death, she clings to her keepsake – the boy’s goalie mask. Jason is the supernatural son she never had (?) and he seeks revenge against anyone who visits his lake, while wearing his daddy’s face mask. The end. (Or is it the beginning?)
Tah dah! (Tah dah!)
What a weird dream, btw. (Any time!)
Better Happy Find… Christian Bale Rant (Remix)
Christian Bale lost it on the set of Terminator Salvation. You would think it would be directed at director McG, but… it wasn’t. The Director of Photography, Shane Hurlbut, was fiddling with lights during an emotional scene (in T4… SRSLY?) and the Batman removed his cowl and bit down hard.
Thank you to the dearest Madame Librarian for bringing this light into my life:
Original rant with “explanation” here.
Happy Find… A Van Face
On the drive into work, I was stuck behind one of these vans:
Like this, but old and dirty, so not like this.
I was bumming a bit, then I noticed a face staring back at me. The shades in the rear-tinted windows looked like eyelids. The license plate was its teeth/tooth. The break lights were rosy cheeks, and the rusted deadbolt was a nose. The ladders, or whatever the junk was, on top made up the face’s hair.
It made me smile.
(Not So) Artistic Representation
JusWondering… What Yesterday Wrought
Believe me when I say I was going to bore you with the details of my yesterday in comparison with what I expected it to be two days ago. You know that whole random winter Tuesday/Wednesday gag. So instead, I’m only going to bore you with highlights.
I’ll just note that things weren’t too far off from what I predicted as well as not at all the same!
- I started moving at 6:01 am (alarm clock time), which means I ignored one whole minute. Not a good start.
- I ended up having a morning that was beyond snooze happy, and had to cut out some of the morning essentials. I still ate a Pop Tart with organic milk (Brown Sugar Cinnamon won).
- On the road, the only construction I ran into was right by my house. I did get sleepy around Bowling Green, so I stopped at Meijer for a candy bar. (It was a Milky Way bar, since they were out of Reese’s Fast Breaks… I fear this treat’s days are numbered.)
- I quickly gave up the notion of seeing a Denny’s for my free breakfast. I thought they might not exist in Ohio. I did end up getting a free lunch, though (the company’s VP bought me a bar burger from the joint next door).
- Things were going well. I only had to run two network cable lines. There was a slight struggle getting the router and the modem to communicate, but overall, it looked like I was leaving early…
- The Snag. I knew in my gut that there was going to be one, but I figured it would have to do with the wiring or a pc issue. Better yet. The router I went down to Findlay to install was to unite the offices so their printers would work better. This was the reason for the visit. The router I had no longer came with this feature included. In fact, it could no longer even be purchased as an add-on. This meant I had to find a VPN router replacement stat. Unfortunately, the closest store to carry it was in Toledo. Here’s some maps:
Between office and store.
- Between office and home.
- Bonus Potential Snag. The key given to me to get back in since the workers would be gone was the wrong key. Luckily someone was still there. Whew!
- While I was waiting for printer files to install, I did get to work on a post for Old Men at the Bar. The computer seized up on me, and I feared all was lost! Only a little was lost.
- I finally got back on the road home about 7 pm. It was three hours later than I anticipated. On my way back I stopped in Bowling Green to get gas and a Mt. Dew from Meijer. The Dew tasted like it was mixed with some paint thinner, or something, but I was thirsty.
- As I neared the Ohio/Michigan border, I saw a billboard for an upcoming Denny’s. In Toledo.
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