After a full day of recovery from the nightmare that was New Years Day (although I did enjoy the NHL Winter Classic game between the Detroit Red Wings and the Chicago Blackhawks and “Hamlet 2“), I can finally pinpoint and take issue with the source of my dismay: Jello Shots.
Now, in concept and in limited amount, Jello shots aren’t really much trouble. They’re not much of anything, other than, I guess the illusion of fun.
But here’s the truth – they’re time bombs. Ticking wiggly fruit-flavored time bombs. Especially if you eat, like, 30 of them (maybe it was less, but to say less seems wussy… so I’m sticking with 30!). On top of that, you’ve been working on polishing off a keg for four hours. And I know my body has a rough go at handling one kind of liquor, let alone a plethora.
Fuck those little sweet M-80’s. I pray I never seem them again for awhile any time soon.
Bill Cosby… how could you have forsaken me?