Drunken Recollection… Urban Dictionary Wars

Last time I tried to do this, I didn’t get in (that’s what she said).  It’s probably because I mentioned Thundercats and the redickuless Rob Dyrdek.

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, allow me to reiterate.  One of my friends from soccer has about nine posts on Urban Dictionary; I wanted as many or more.  It turns out I’m burned out from trying.  I will give him credit though – he said he tried many as well, but it wasn’t until he got into the 12-year-old pervert boy mindset that he hit his stride.

So my latest (and last) attempt is this:

1. when a dude has unprotected sex and immediately after regrets not putting a condom on. 2. When the one getting boned realizes there is no latex (or sheepskin if you're over 50) betwixt you both, you can exclaim "I condomeant to!" FRIEND 1: Man, this chick I was banging was in her ketchup phase... I totally condomeant to after that discovery. FRIEND 2: At least she wasn't in the "must-turd" phase.

That’s the lowest this highbrow can go.

Here ‘s hoping (for no real good particular reason).  As for the other five of my compiled entries (including the above mentioned “ketchup phase“), click here.  Maybe by the time you do, condomeant will be on that list.

(SIDENOTE: My favorite entry is kidstipated BTW, but it took three tries to get it on.  The one I gave up on was mustard phase.  I was only trying to get that on for the above joke, so I shoehorned it in.  See it’s definition below…)

mustard phase

1) After eating a lot of unhealthy food – let’s say chili cheese hot dogs – there’s a sense of urgency to reach the bathroom that grows exponentially until you reach the porcelain throne

2) The phase when you “must turd” ASAP

DUDE 1: We gotta get out of this ballpark stat! My rectum is launching into full mustard phase, and these restrooms are packed!

DUDE 2: Just use a trash bin.

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One comment

  1. Anonymous · September 25, 2012

    Don’t give up on mustard phase! I still think chum-chucks is my favorite…

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