Year: 2011

Awesome Battle… M.C. Esher And Zach Braff Vs. Dream House!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Being a man of few words (especially when I’m behind on posts), I’m going to let these two posters go toe-to-toe with the works they were liberally borrowed from inspired by.

  • Dream House

Analysis: cool perspective illusion, not your typical "floating head" poster

  • M.C. Esher

Analysis: cool perspective illusion, not your typical "stairs that go to nowhere" drawing

  • Dream House

Analysis: strange, unsettling effect, terrible dresses & wallpaper

  • Zach Braff

Analysis: strange, unsettling effect, terrible wallpaper... nice shirt

Hibbidy-Wah?! Gimme My (Sister’s) Cabbage Patch Any Day….

Posted on by sgottahurt

I was originally going to right about the undercurrent of wrongness in these real video games:

Is the horse talking in the title of this game?

How about you say, "I Really Like..." instead?

But then I found these:

Bring me back to "I Love Horses!"

They’re called Reborn Dolls.

"They're coming to get you, Barbara..." is stuck in my head, for some reason.

And I guess they’re the exact opposite – and somehow the equivalent – of RealDolls (NSFW BTW).

Welcome to Uncanny Valley, Population: 1

I’d write more, but they’re creeping me out!

(Sort Of) Happy Find… White People Problems (Plus My New Idea)

Posted on by sgottahurt

The site White People Problems is hit or miss, but when it’s good, it’s okay.  Basically, it doesn’t make you laugh or smile, but it will make you think this sound:

Heh.

That’s what makes it a (Sort Of) Happy Find.  Oh, you want examples?  Here’s some hehxamples:

So these got me thinking… not about other ethnic group’s problems, or Western culture collectively, but about retirees.  I only say this because my retired mother recently complained about how she was upset about one event because she couldn’t plan out her vacations.  Yes, there’s an S on the end of that.

So allow me to introduce my latest brainchild, ImSoRetired.  Here are some examples:

This post could have also been titled:

Things That Make You Go Heh

Drunken Recollection… To Fight A Zombie

Posted on by sgottahurt

The infamous they say there’s more than one way to skin a cat.  Which is gross.  The infamous they should really say:

There’s more than one way to fight a zombie.

While drinking, many options were discussed.  It was basically like that scene in Pulp Fiction when Bruce Willis decides what tool of destruction to unleash on Zed.  From bat to chainsaw to sword to Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man, we ran the gamut.

But then I realized I would want to use the same devices on zombies that I would on idiots in this country:

A lightsaber and a jetpack

Also, it should be mentioned that this same night, I met a “local ballerina” that looked just like this:

"Would you like a dance? Or a hand up your ---?"

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… Aliens Separated At Birth

Posted on by sgottahurt

This post would have taken place back in 1985… if I had a computer… or access to the TripleDoubleU…

When I was a little kid, back in 1983, there was a movie that meant a lot to me.  It was called Return of the Jedi, and it completed the Star Wars trilogy about Luke Skywalker.  The whole series was about him figuring out who his family was and who his friends were.  This guy was not one of his friends:

Nikto

While that was in theaters, a new TV show started about aliens coming to Earth called V.  This lady was one of the visitors:

Diana

Last year, The Last Starfighter came out (which was incredible), and that film introduced us to this guy:

Grig

Doesn’t he look like he could be Nikto and Diana’s kid?

(SIDENOTE: The spaceships in The Last Starfighter were animated with computers, just like the vehicles in Tron.  I don’t think it will catch on, though.  The ships in Star Wars are waaaay better.)

Well, Grig might have another brother in this winter’s Enemy Mine:

Jeriba "Jerry" Shigan

All we need to do is find out Nikto or Diana’s last name… or Grig even.  Why don’t more aliens have last names?

"Gorn is my last name. My first name is Leslie."

The Sh– To The Bigger Sh–… Shine On, Shine On, iLuminate!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don’t know how long these videos will be available on YouTube, but I have to share despite the risk (comment below if they are gone and I’ll find new ones).

I don’t know much about iLuminate other than they appeared on America’s Got Talent, and my friend that introduced me to them not only claims they will win, but he will pay to go see them.

Here’s their most recent performance on AGT:

Here’s their tryout:

Here’s what I believe is their inspiration:

JusWondering… What’s Jason Bateman Thinking?

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Jason Bateman has had an interesting career if you really think about it.  As a young actor, he was stuck in Michael J. Fox’s long (but short) shadow, even to the point he had to follow him up by playing a Teen Wolf Too.

But lately, his movie choices have been very hit-or-(mostly)-miss.  It’s even more telling if you string the titles together.

Currently, he’s in:

Last year, he was in:

Isn’t that basically the same name?!

(SIDENOTE: I know, I know… The Switch was originally called The Baster. But still…)

The last time a mix-up like this happened was when he had this movie:

And it was followed by this movie:

Maybe it’s one of these people making his decisions…

Musical Musings… Theory Of A Social Deadman Distortion

Posted on by sgottahurt

Here’s a definition for ya folks:

lib•er•al bor•row•ing /ˈlib(ə)rəl ˈbärō-iNG/
1. The act by which an “artist” uses another artist’s work as a part of their own (usually musicians)
2. Stealing

I’ve written about this subject for more than several occasions, and it still intrigues me how often it occurs.  What’s great about this latest discovery is it might restore some of my street cred, since usually the findings are about Katy Perry, Pink, or Avril Lavigne.

Is it just me, or does Theory of a Deadman’s Lowlife sound a shit-ton like Social Distortion’s Ball and Chain (at least it’s verses)?  Is it an homage?  Do they claim it’s a sequel?  Or is it liberal borrowing in full effect?

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Tim And Eric And Angie Harmon

Posted on by sgottahurt

I really shouldn’t pick on kids. It’s not very becoming of me.

But that’s why I don’t ever want to have kids, because if they’re ugly, I’ll probably get famous arrested for putting them up on eBay.

That having been said, check out this kid’s melon.  You’ll figure out which one I’m talking about real quick.

Milk is great for healthy bones and eyebrows, I mean, hair.

This reminds me of that old Seinfeld episode when Elaine and Jerry are trying to set George up on a blind date, and the topic of eyebrows is brought up:

Elaine: What, you don’t think she’s beautiful?

Jerry: I don’t know, what’s with the eyebrows?

Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.

Jerry: I went out with you.

Elaine: That’s because my standards are too low. And by the way, you know,
women kill for eyebrows like that. Do you know that? I mean women pluck their
real eyebrows out of their head, one by one, until they’re bald, Jerry. Bald
above the eyes! And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that.

Well anylourdes, while some people find Angie Harmon’s brows attractive, I agree with Jerry.  What’s with them?

Her poor daughter reminds me of Chippy from Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

  • Tim and Eric:

  • Chippy

  • Where’s My Chippy?

InASense, Lost… This Frightens Me To The (Quad) Core

Posted on by sgottahurt

I found this a couple of days ago when I was looking for a good picture of Leela from Futurama for this post.

— I have since been unable to shake the image from my head. —

It haunts my every waking hour, especially when I’m in front of a PC, because I’m in front of a PC every waking hour!

Not to mention, there were far worse pictures under Google for “Leela Futurama” if SafeSearch is turned off, but those images remained fleeting (probably because of desensitization).

I want to know what kind of person it takes to make a computer like this.

Scratch that.  I never want to know.

For those of you visiting the home page of this blog, I’m sparing you the image by placing it after the jump.  For those finding this post via Twitter or Facebook – I’m sorry. Read More