The Sh– To Just Sh–tier… Nooooo, George Lucas!

I’m not even going to delve deeper into my feelings on these changes George Lucas has made to the Blu-ray editions of the six Star Wars films.  All I can say is that with every change he makes, it justifies me keeping my old version… I mean, versions.

(This next one is actually okay…)

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In Defense Of… Stick Figure Family Window Decals

This might be my most difficult In Defense Of yet.  Out of everything I’ve defended, I’ve found a silver lining.  But these things – I hate these things:

Revenge of the Son of the "Baby On Board" Signs, Part 2

And that’s just what it is, right?  It’s the latest parental fad, like those old Baby on Board signs:

Baby, I'm Bored...

They’re pointless and annoying.  All this coming from the guy that’s defended the dislikes of Justin Beiber!

So where do I begin?

Really?

They’re pointless.

So I’m going to have to dig deep within and point out a point.

Got it!

They’re ripe for comedy.  Check out this (possibly tasteless) video:

If people used these for comedic purposes rather than boastful, we might see the likes of this:

Could be a single lady's possible future...

Or maybe celebrities could get in on the trend to kill it:

Neil Patrick Harris' Family

Octomom (less the rest of her brood) or Kate Gosselin

Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus

I fear I’ve failed this In Defense Of, and this is what I should get:

JusWondering… Why Did Rappers Pick Those Names?

What do these two items have in common?

They are the very items that Tracy Marrow and O’Shea Jackson chose to name themselves after.

"We like our beverages very cold!"

Everyone knows what Ice-T and Ice Cube were like back-in-the-day, and what they are like now-in-the-day.

Ice-T is James Bonding; Ice Cube is family bonding.

I just think it’s strange that in the earliest stages of their careers, they chose to name themselves after the above items.

old school mr t

Or in Ice-T's case, maybe this guy.

I was thinking if they wanted to there are plenty of other ice names they could have went with:

  • Ice Corpse
  • Ice Knife
  • Ice Bullet
  • Ice Rink

Okay, maybe they are all that great, but what would you think of this music group:

vanilla ice strawberry shortcake tay zonday

Neo-POP-litan!

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Remake To The X-Treme!

I really wanted to write about how Prudential’s new billboards look like Taco Bell’s less crazy ones, but I couldn’t find any good pictures (nor did I feel like getting into an accident on the freeway) to make a point-counterpoint.

Prudential's Billboards' Sayings

Taco Bell's Crazier Style Billboard

Taco Bell's Tamer Billboard With Wrong Color Scheme

Every time I see the yellow-on-purple wisecrack statement, I think it’s an ad for my primary nutritional source.  But again, I don’t have any evidence.  You’ll have to trust me.

Instead, I’ll deal with the remake of Footloose… or at least their previews.

I’ve never seen either film, so my experience with each is limited.  But based on what is revealed in each preview, the remake is a REMAKE! to the fullest extent.  Aside from dead kids causing a dancing ban, and an amping-up of elements (choreography, exploding buses, faster suicide train runs, and a much prettier lead actress), the new Footloose looks exactly the same.

  • New
  • Old

If you want an example of how to make better remake, check this out:

Musical Musings… Save Me, Glory Days

My original post title went through a few quick revisions.  This one almost made the cut (but was cut for being questionable):

Glory Trains

Anymaxweinberg, here we meet again.  It’s another liberal borrowing claim, this time against Pat Monahan and his cronies.

Tell me what you think about the opening of Train’s latest (probable) hit, Save Me, San Francisco:

It sounds like the softer guitar version of the opening to Bruce Springsteen’s Glory Days (starts at 38 second mark):

Okay, so maybe the first two noted are transcribed, or one guitar strum is skipped, but bounce back and forth between the songs.  Ignore the drum beats and listen to the guitar.

I’m calling it.  Are you?

————————————————————————————————————————

Speaking of the glory days saving me, why don’t they use effects like the ones in these old songs anymore?

  • The opening chimes from Hall & Oates’ I Can’t Go For That:
  • The drumbeat breakdown in New Edition’s If It Isn’t Love (starts at 2:49 minute mark):

A Handful Of… Not-So-Inventive Musicians

When you’re a writer of any type (INSERT TYPEWRITER JOKE HERE), your purpose is – or should be – to bring something new into this world.  I’ve sort of made it my mission to call out “artists” that liberally borrow from other “artists,” but that’s not what I’m talking about this time.  (I will be discussing it again in my next post, though.)

No this is about something else… Not-So-Inventive Musicians, namely in the naming department.  It’s one of those which came first scenarios, except this one’s about a chicken and a chicken (or if you prefer, an egg and an egg).

When I was starting my band experiment, we threw out and tossed out many names.  These are those that stuck for a time:

KAGAL (Kermit and Grover are Lovers)

Monkey Spank Monkey Do (hmm… that sounds familiar…)

oddcookie

Never at anytime did we have any song called (or involving) KAGAL, Monkey Spank Monkey Do, nor oddcookie.  With these bands, that wasn’t the case:

  • Big Country’s In a Big Country
  • Human League’s Human
  • Living in a Box’s Living in a Box
  • Snoop Dogg’s Snoop Dogg
  • Spacehog’s Spacehog
  • Talk Talk’s Talk Talk Talk
  • Meredith Brooks’ Bitch

Why won’t you return my calls?!  And Snookers was our dog, not yours!

(These of course aren’t the only ones… more can be found here and here.)

InASense, Lost… Push, Push, Pushing The Envelope

I recently found out there once was quite a bit of some controversy over the cover of one of my favorite comics as a kid.

It was Issue #48 of ALF (yes, he had his own comic, and yes again, 48 issues equal four years)…

Here’s the cover:

No problem.

People took issue (“Ha! I kill me!”) with it because it appears that good ol’ ALF is having his way with the seal.

So for comparison, this ALF incident happened in 1991.

A way more controversial thing happened in 1986, in Issue #9 of Miracleman:

Innocent enough, right?

Well, I’m not going to post what happens inside this issue.  You’ll just have to click here if curiosity has gotten the best of you.  It’s not bad, but it’s certainly graphic, and definitely NSFW or comics.

I have not much else to say due to shock.  And surprisingly, the shock isn’t from an alien fucking a seal…

(via)