Month: April 2009

Happy Find… New “Star Trek” Movie Cut Scenes

Posted on by sgottahurt

OH MY BORG!

J.J. Abrams’ version of Star Trek hits theaters May 8th, but if you can’t wait for the DVD and all the extras, check out these exclusive cut scenes now!

P.S. I am so saddened by the fact I missed posting yesterday.  It was the first time in all my six months that I didn’t get to write or steal anything.  I have only dial-up at home and my iPhone’s battery went dead.  Woe is me… 

Thank space that Singing Spock brightened my day!

(and thanks to Dave for finding this gem!)

InASense, Lost… “Hi, My Name Is Sean, And I’m A Webaholic”

Posted on by sgottahurt

In deciding between calling myself a netaholic or a webaholic, it was only then that I realized the similarities between a “net” and a “web,” and I wondered if such naming was on purpose, but I digress…

Allow me to reiterate.  I.  Am.  Addicted.  To the TripleDoubleU.  (I was tired of using these “.” for a moment.)

I’d like to blame it on the stock market crashing and I will.

See, I work in IT, and just like how a stripper doesn’t enjoy bringing her work home (maybe that was a bad example), I wasn’t too keen on doing much on the web once I got home.  I had five blogs I regularly read, and I played on the Hollywood Stock Exchange (my user name is TakeOne if interested).  Otherwise I did banking and billing (and occasional drunk purchases on Amazon or DeepDiscount).

But when the market crashed and EVERYONE panicked, my company’s clients held their breath and stopped calling, and I was suddenly left with a lot of free time on my hands.  I never got into MyBook or FaceSpace, so I started checking out this whole blogging thing.  Voila!  MonkeyBlogMonkeyDo was born.

But now I’m in a bit of a crisis.  Over the last six months, I’ve kinda developed a needto be online.  First off, I have way more than five blogs to read on a daily basis.  Plus I have two (and sometimes more if I feel like it) of my own to tend to.  Throw in my recent crippling desire to Twitter, and it’s borderline unbearable.  For example, how am I supposed to watch TV and DVD’s without a functioning laptop on top of my lap (functioning = online).

Where the major crisis stems from is the fact that the neighbor’s wifi I’ve been “borrowing” seems to have been cancelled.  I believe this started April 1st, and I’m beginning to lose my mind.

I live in Detroit, and my only option for a provider is Comcast, and I can’t stand Comcast (although I do love their new commercials).  So here I sit.  Writing this blog.  Using dial-up.

Maybe I need to get this (click here to take you to the site because I couldn’t post it via dial-up!):

The Innernette! It all fits on one CD!

The Innernette! It all fits on one CD!

 Also, I feel a kindred spirit in last season’s South Park episode, “Over Logging.”  If you haven’t seen it, check it out here.  Just be warned – there is a very gross scene that even Trey Parker couldn’t believe they got away with putting on TV.

Okay, sure, maybe I’m just being whiny, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t find it fair that no one else but Comcast has upgraded lines in my area to give us consumers some options. 

…mjusayin…

Drunken Recollection… Supercalifrag-Religion-Expialidocious

Posted on by sgottahurt

Religion would not seem to be a great topic of conversation while imbibing libations, but in my group of friends… well, you can only tell so many bathroom horror stories.

Since all of us (pretty much) were born and raised Catholics, all of us (pretty much) are no longer.  So topics about what we are, where we’ll go, and how many blue cars there are come up often.  One of the common ones – which bands are religious and claim/pretend not to be.

Recently, it was brought up about this band, and this album, and the song Shine:

Whoa... heaven let your light shine down.

Whoa... heaven let your light shine down.

Does it mean they are religious?  Quite the opposite.  From their Wikipedia page:

Ed Roland was reading Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead and came across the phrase “collection of souls.” Although author Ayn Rand actually uses the phrase in a negative connotation, using the “collective soul” as a threat to the main character’s sense of individualism, Ed is quick to point out, “…we’re not preaching Ayn Rand, objectivism, egoism, or anything…we just dug the name…” and “it [the band’s name] could’ve come out of a Motorcycle Magazine.”

There have been other bands we’ve accused, such as Vertical Horizon (because their name describes a cross, but they seem like a basic college band), The Fray (made up of non-proselytizing Christians), Lifehouse (started as Christian band called Blyss, but they’re no longer that way) , and Switchfoot (name comes from surfing, but they have played Christian rock concerts).  It’s interesting that none of them claim to be 100% Christian Rock bands (because how else could they sell to the masses, so to speak).

I just think they’re afraid to be associated with this kind of stuff:

(via the incredible Everything is Terrible)

And in the same way, could I say I enjoyed their music if they were considered CCM (Contempory Christian Music)?

F OSU... Y not YMCA?

Why OHIO? Why not YMCA?

Double Happy Find… “Like A Boss” & “Charlie The Unicorn 3”

Posted on by sgottahurt

Okay, I really didn’t plan on loading this front page with all these videos, but life happens.  Move or be moved.  Dance or be danced… or something like that.

And I’m technically a day late on both of these (well two days for the first one), so hopefully you have yet to bear witness to the Lonely Island and Film Cow’s latest masterpieces:

Worth 1002 Words… Pac-Man’s Origin Story

Posted on by sgottahurt

Makes sense.

Makes sense.

 (via Topless Robot on Twitter)

Musical Musings… When Memes Take Steroids

Posted on by sgottahurt

Internet memes are a phenomenon in so much that they spread faster than a wildfire, faster than a rumor in high school, and faster than any milk product through my lactose intolerant friend, Jay.

Now when you take something we’ve all seen and taken for granted and add music… Internet Meme 2.0.

YouTube user/musician ParryGripp has done just that.  I’ve featured one of his videos once before (that got taken down because the original video poster is a d-bag).  It was Hamster On a Piano that was eating popcorn.  It was hilarious, I thought, but these are of the same, if not higher, caliber.  Enjoy!

25 Years Of WrestleMania AKA “WWE” = “What Wrestling Emitted” (Wait, That Sounds Bad)

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’d never proclaim to be a huge fan of wrestling.  Even back before the World Wildlife Fund made them change their name, I wasn’t too into any of the WrestleManias or the Sunday matches.  A few of my friends were, though, so the WWE superstars of the day blipped my pop culture radar.  And a little cartoon BITD (“back in the day”) also helped:

But since this Sunday (tomorrow) is WrestleMania XXV, I’m going to post the best things I ever think came out of the WWF WWE… BITD, of course. 

5) “Macho Man” Randy Savage sure did love him some Slim Jims.  Why it’s relevant to me?  On a trip to Houston, Texas, there was one day I devoted to eating only Slim Jims and pickles, and drinking MGD.  The next day I devoted to the hotel bathroom.

4) Andre the Giant was in The Princess Bride.  Why it’s relevant to me?  I always thought he seemed like a nice guy, and the movie helped confirm that (if I remember correctly).  Man, I haven’t seen that movie in a long time.  All I truly remember is the scene where Wesley and the “Inconceivable!” guy keep switching poisoned glasses.  And Inigo Montoya, of course.

3) Sargent Slaughter was a G.I. Joe toy and on the cartoon!  Why it’s relevant to me?  He was on the cartoon!  (I wasn’t allowed to collect G.I. Joe because they were too much like Star Wars, according to my mom.)

2) Rowdy Roddy Piper was in John Carpenter’s They Live.  Why it’s relevant to me?  Just watch this clip and tell me it’s not relevant to you.

1) Hulk Hogan was a Real American.  Why it’s relevant to me?  Um, Hulk Hogan plays on an electric guitar painted like the American flag standing in front of an American flag like he’s motherfucking General Patton just before a scene of a building being demolished.  That’s just the first 30 seconds!  And it only gets better, I promise you…

Happy Find… Why The F— Do You Have A Kid?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Your mind will probably already be made up before I finishing claiming the opposite, but I do not intentionally seek out website addresses with the word “fuck” in them.  In fact, they find me.  That’s the way it is with so-called dirty words… they just jump out at you.

I used to work in a medical center filing reports, and believe me, it becomes like A Beautiful Mind when you stumble across any sex term.  The words start growing and floating off the page.  But now I’m off topic, as usual.

Today I present, Why the Fuck Do You Have a Kid?  Sample anyone?

becuz ur supposed to keep at least six inches between u and ur dance partner

becuz ur supposed to keep at least six inches between u and ur dance partner

Just a small example of the sad state of affairs hilarity that exists on the site.  Enjoy?  I mean – ENJOY!

In My Brain While Sleeping… An Anthology

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve had some doozies of dreams lately.  Alone, they probably don’t amount to much, but together… they still don’t probably amount to much.  I just think the cast has been strange of late, so here they are, collected as an anthology, separated by photos, natch.

It's a D.L.T. (Duchovny + Leoni + Travolta)

It's a D.L.T. (Duchovny + Leoni + Travolta)

In this dream, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were still together, and they happened to be the parents of my friend/boss Paul’s kids (his lists are begrudgingly featured on this very site).  Does this mean that I subconsciously refer to them as such?  WTF do I know?  

Anytruthisoutthere, the family went to a campground where the parents and kids stayed on opposite sides. The twisted purpose of the camp was to make the parents forget about their kids as they are set off into the real world alone.  Pretty Roald Dahl-type stuff here. 

So as the weeks and months go by, the two tykes survive in the world with the help of a magical friend, played by John Travolta, looking exactly like he does above for his role in The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.  As he helps Paul’s kids find their way back to Dave and Tea, Dave and Tea slowly remember that they have kids they need to find.  They prepare to leave the campground after six months, and the child-hating neighbors become suspicious.  When readying to leave their house (must have been a fancy campground), everyone stares through their front windows at them.  It was creepy, trust me.

See what happens when you put Charles in charge.

See what happens when you put Charles in charge.

This was kind of a quick snippet.  In the dream, the TripleDoubleU was all in a tizzy because allegedly there was a quick nude scene in an old episode of Charles in Charge, featuring Nicole Eggert.

Way to go subconscious.  Make dream nudity as geeky as possible.

"Melanie Chartoff and Neil Flynn were sitting in a tree..."

"Melanie Chartoff and Neil Flynn were sitting in a tree..."

I was back in high school in this dream, and the Principal from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose(season one coming to DVD June 30th – yay!) and the Janitor from Scrubs were my principal and janitor.   And I caught them.   Making out.   And possibly more.   I was having a bad day in the dream (of course), and after bearing witness to their deeds, I knew I had carte blanche.   I whistled as I walked the halls, long after the class bells rang.

Meet my brother. He's a Muppet.

Meet my brother. He's a Muppet.

In this last bit, I was in a JC Penney for some reason.  Everybody was dancing around like I was in some sort of musical.  My brother appeared to me in the form of a Muppet and he lead me into the part of the store that basically was Sesame Street.  This probably has to do with what I got him as a birthday gift, but still… weird.

INGREDIENTS: Peanut butter bagels, and probably my growing Twitter addiction (don’t believe my addiction… just check out my last three posts).

Breaking News (If You Care)! Heidi Montag Expecting (If You Can Believe Her Twitter Page)

Posted on by sgottahurt

UPDATE: It was a stupid April Fool’s joke, but then again, look at the perpetrator.

You can see the great certainty with which I’m announcing the the fact that Heidi Montag Tweeted that she’s not only expecting, but she’s hoping it’s a boy.  Is it an April Fool’s Joke?

From her Twitter page:

heidimontagtwitter

Now, I must admit… I’m still not sure the page is real.  She does so much “Bible thumping” and “God is great!” singing and dancing, that it seemed out of character for her.  But alas, I (obviously) do not know her, and I don’t live in L.A. to verify her events, such as her supposed Ryan Seacrest show appearance that was cancelled, so it could be real.

So hey, I guess that kind of puts the kibosh on my wish list plans for next Christmas…

BONUS: Click here to hear her new songs.  Oh, the timing of it all!  What kismet!  Hahaha… KIIS-met!  That’s Seacrest’s station!  And did you also know season five of The Hillsstarts April 6th?  Such serendipity!  Extra emphasis on the dipity!