The $500 Million Russian Bride?


This is not a Conspiracy Theory!

Mel Gibson and his wife Robyn have reportedly split after 28 years of marriage.  The word on the street (where the Road Warrior lives) is that they’ve been separated for about two and a half years, and in that time Mad Max has been putting his Lethal Weapon in a myriad of young ladies’ Thunderdomes.

Most notably, he’s been sharing a few Tequila Sunrises with this girl, so he could, um, Pocahontas her:

Her name is Oksana Pochepa, if you couldn’t distinguish between all the mumbo jumbo Russian in the video’s title.  She’s a famous model/singer/model.  And The Man Without a Face wearing a blindfold, playing the sax in the video is not Mel Gibson.  It’s just a coincidence that his name is Mel.  Or least he looks like a Mel.

Apparently, although Mel is not Forever Young, he is still largely What Women Want(even though he’s prone to calling bazongas sugar tits), particularly this Russian hottie with such a Braveheart.

According to Oksana, from the Sun UK:

We are different people, but Mel is a grown man and knows precisely what he wants and me too — I know what I want.

They’re both such Maverick(s).  How could wife Robyn not see the Signs?  She’s sure to want to Ransom his nuts, or at least get some kind of Payback, right?

DING DING DING DING!  Time for some math!  Yay!

Here are the facts:

  • She’s 24. 
  • He’s 53.
  • His marriage lasted 28 years.
  • He’s worth almost $1 billion. 
  • His wife wants half that.

I don’t know what the math problem is, per se, but one question remains:

Is Oksana Pochepa worth half a billion dollars?

The answer: re-watch the video.

(Movies not used in puns: Bird on a Wire, Air America, Hamlet, We are Soldiers,  The Singing Detective, The Patriot, The River, Gallipoli, Fathers’ Day, and The Year of Living Dangerously… I probably could have squeezed in one of those last two)

(mostly via IDLYITW)