Just in time for Christmas Eve, I’ve assembled a list of containing A Handful Of items I may actually want, even though I told all my loved ones not to buy me anything because I didn’t buy them anything. Will they listen this year? Hopefully. But they haven’t yet, and I feel like a real dick when they do. Unless that’s what they wanted. Then they did get a gift from me after all!
This game looks just like you’re playing the TV show. Do you know how many times I’ve wished Friends would have done that? Oh, and I should mention this – I would like the 360 pre-order version so I can get Mysterion. So what if this doesn’t come out until next year. I can wait.
Final words before my inevitable incarceration: “See you all later… you know, because I was secretly video taping you.”
My sister actually brought these to my attention, and they haven’t left my consciousness since. I brought up the possibility of getting these to a few friends, and one deftly responded: “Creepersville.” My initial interest was genuine – wear this to bars to capture conversation flows or to a soccer game to get a first-person perspective of my awfulness. But it’s there – right on the fringe of Creepersville no matter my intent. The only other inevitable problem is that I have enough difficulty living in the moment as it is. With these, I’ll be living in perpetual time-delay.
Mostly everyone nowadays knows Clarence Carter for his song, Strokin’. If the blind blues singer is known for anything else, it should be at least for the hook from his song, Backdoor Santa. Run-DMC “borrowed” the back beat for their better-known Christmas in Hollis, but here’s the original:
Awesome, right? It’s definitely sexual in nature, butt am I wrong to think it could be about a little something extra under the tree? I known the TripleDoubleU has been around for quite some time and my purest thoughts are no different from yellow snow, butt I don’t think I’m reading too much into these lyrics:
I make my run
At the break of day
“The break of day” is also known as “the crack of dawn.”
I ain’t like
Old Saint Nick
He don’t come
But once a year
That part is obviously sexual, and the concept was stolen by Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond. Here’s where it gets really interesting…
I kept that door open
In case anyone
Smelled a mouse
If neither of those names are familiar, here are the faces to go with them:
Courtney is probably best known for her role in season four of Dexter (and not for her marriage to Superman), but she first came to my attention in an episode of How I Met Your Mother (“The Naked Man“). She played an awful person on HIMYM, but she did this on Dexter. She will forever be in my heart, and needs more opportunities to do what she did on Dexter.
Kate has not fared as well in America as she has in her homeland (she’s Australian… I love Australian accents). Her biggest role here was in The Wicker Man, and this is a sample of the material she had to work with:
Come on Hollywood! Give her another shot! At least one better than Nick Cage in a bear suit punching a woman!
I would have saved this for my upcoming (heehee) All I Want For Christmas posts, but I didn’t want to be perceived as a perv. The fact that I’m making it a Happy Find should be of no consequence of all.
I had a mystery that required solving (as all mysteries do) about a week ago. The situation was this:
I had awakened in the middle of the night to witness an infomercial for a product that you sat on, and it was supposed to help your spine align properly. I had no more to go on than that… well… that, and the website site that sounded something like BooYah.com.
I asked everyone around the office. I Googled as fervently as I could. I could not find anything about this thing you sit on for spine support.
That was until I stumbled upon the word “orthotic.” And indeed, the product was like a shoe insert. Very soon after I found it… BackJoy.
As Danny Glover once said, in his mid-20's, "I'm too young for this shit."
My co-workers had me thinking I dreamed it, when it was truly a reality. No longer would I be uncomfortable sitting on stools without backs at the bars – I could have BackJoy! And that’s when it hit me. I’d have to carry this thing around with me, wherever I went, because I’m sure my back would get used to it.
So then I settled upon wanting this. It was love at first glance:
An older Danny Glover was overheard saying, "I'll take ten." (Because he's rich, you see.)
Parajet SkyCar– the flying auto! A reality actually spawned in my dreams! Oh, the places– wait, what’s that? It glides? With a parachute?
Just give me the BackJoy. And make sure it comes with a carrying case…