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Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Second Bananas Edition (Round 2)

Posted on March 27, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For Round 2 of the Head Honchos bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For Round 2 of the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

THE SECOND BANANAS (Round 2 Results)

This bracket provided only one upset. Much like in the Head Honcho bracket, my love of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia did not transcend to your votes. Or perhaps I underestimated the Scarecrow’s fan base. Either way, The Wizard of Oz had enough heart to give, and the Scarecrow (#13) beat Mac (#4) overwhelmingly (at the time of this posting), 41-9.

Here are the other voting results (two were very close, one was a blow out):

Paul McCartney (#1) vs. Dipsy (#16) – 15-5
Raphael (#2) vs. Billy Baldwin (#15) – 19-4
Templeton “Faceman” Peck (#3) vs. Micky Dolenz (#14) – 13-7
Samantha Jones (#5) vs. Luigi Mario (#12) – 13-12
Kyle Broflovski (#6) vs. Eric Murphy (#11) – 20-7
George Costanza (#7) vs. The Invisible Woman (#10) – 13-12
Ray Stantz (#8) vs. Randy Jackson (#9) – 31-4

Round 2 of the Second Bananas might contain some of the toughest match-ups. Let’s go!

Paul McCartney vs. Ray Stantz

(more after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Head Honchos Edition (Round 2)

Posted on March 26, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For Round 2 of the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For Round 2 of the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

Wow.

Some of these upsets I did not see coming. But just like the NCAA tournament system this is based on, upsets are what make it interesting.

THE HEAD HONCHOS (Round 1 Results)

– First dead Beatle John Lennon (#1) was pitted against the biggest Teletubby, Tinky Winky, and rightfully so, Lennon won (at the time of this posting), 34-15.

– Moneybags/sour puss Simon Cowell (#2) lost in the first upset of the competition to the Entourage’s nougat center, Vincent Chase (#15). Not quite a blow-out at 27-17.

– There must be a fair amount of animosity being held against Jerry Seinfeld (#3) for his awful Marriage Ref show. I didn’t think enough people would remember The Monkees, let alone the group’s breakout heartthrob, Davy Jones (#14) to help him scrape by a win at 24-21.

– The next one was not even close. Peter Venkman (#4) blew Dorothy Gale (#13) all the way back to Oz with a 47-2 win.

– This one breaks my heart a little bit. Maybe if the movie remake was already out (and it didn’t suck), John “Hannibal” Smith (#5) would have defeated mushroom-addict, Mario Mario (#12). Instead, the double-monickered one won, 19-13.

– Alec Baldwin (#6) and Ninja Turtle Leonardo (#11) are a lot alike, if you take away the green color, shell, swords, and business suit. Don’t believe me? Imagine it. The green one loses to the hairy one, 31-17.

– One’s made of paper and one’s made of elastic (kind of). Stan Marsh (#7) pulls out a victory against Mr. Fantastic (#10), 27-6.

– This battle was upsetting to me. I love It’s Always Sunny in California, and I’m rather indifferent to Sex and the City. For those that voted, the opposite must have been true. Carrie Bradshaw (#9) beats Dennis Reynolds (#8), 26-19.

With that being said, onto round 2!

John Lennon vs. Carrie Bradshaw

(more after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Wild Cards Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 24, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For the Head Honchos bracket, click here. For the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here.)

Here it is… the final bracket in the Final Foursome competition. Who will make it to the ultimate quartet? Who will make it to round 2? Will anybody help spread the word and get more votes? Does anybody care?

Well the answer to all the above questions is “Reply hazy, try again,” at least according to my Magic 8 Ball.

Nonetheless, this proud group consists of those that are a lot like a Magic 8 Ball. You never know what they’re going to do or say… within their limits. Or you flat-out don’t understand why they’re there. Kind of like, why make an eight ball magical?

THE WILD CARDS

Cosmo Kramer vs. Miranda Hobbes

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Round Outs Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 23, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For the Head Honchos bracket, click here. For the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

Welcome to the Round Outs bracket in the quest to assemble the greatest Final Foursome.

These are the players that “round out” each of their respective groups. They’re the brains, the brawns, the beauties, the talent, the bullies, the Born Again, and the, um, yellow.

THE ROUND OUTS

Eric Cartman vs. Laa-Laa

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Second Bananas Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 22, 2010 by sgottahurt

(In case you missed the first bracket for Head Honchos, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

In a quest to find the greatest foursome composed of members from many foursomes, here’s the appropriately titled second bracket, Second Bananas. These are the guys and the gals that make the Head Honchos look like head honchos. If it was in their nature, they’d be at the top… but they don’t feel like it.

Stayed tuned for the Round Outs and Wild Cards brackets.

Keep voting and please keep spreading the word!

THE SECOND BANANAS

Paul McCartney vs. Dipsy

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Head Honcho Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 22, 2010 by sgottahurt

I’ve wanted to do an Awesome Battle involving the greatest foursomes in pop culture four some time now.

The foursomes I’ve selected to focus on:

The Beatles
Ghostbusters
The A-Team
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
South Park
the cast regulars of Seinfeld
The Monkees
Fantastic Four
the cast regulars of Sex and the City
Teletubbies
the selectable players of Super Mario Bros. 2 for the NES
the Baldwin Brothers
the current judges on American Idol
the primary cast of The Wizard of Oz
the cast regulars of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (starting with the first season)
Entourage

And since we’re in the midst of March Madness, I though what could be better than creating a bracket four finding the best of the best in each of these groups, and make the BEST FOURSOME EVER!

Each Sunday Whenever I get around to it, I’ll post the previous round’s results and the next bracket edition. To begin, here are the Head Honchos. Following this will be the Second Bananas, then the Round Outs, and finally the Wild Cards. Vote as often as you can from any computer you can get to, and tell your friends. (Please!)

The more votes I get, the more accurate the Final Foursome’s quality will be.

(For the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

THE HEAD HONCHOS

John Lennon vs. Tinky Winky

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Musical Musings… Better Lady Than Never

Posted on March 11, 2010 by sgottahurt

Hey Ladies!

This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Or at least it’s P-L-A-N-T-A-I-N-S!

From my understanding (which translates to “I just learned this”), Lady Antebellum has been a part of the music scene since 2007, but I’ve only recently heard about the group courtesy of their simple and catchy crossover hit, Need You Now. The group is composed of Charles Kelley, Dave Haywood, and Hillary Scott (pictured above), which makes the trio’s name no less strange. It’s two guys and one lady. And antebellum means pre-war so no further help there.

Like Lady Sovereign before them and Lady Gaga after them, perhaps their moniker was inspired by…

Lady BIRD Johnson – former First Lady and husband to President LBJ (not to be confused with the president of LJN)
“Lady CHATTERLY’s Lover” – well, not her lover, per sé… the title character of the book/film
Lady DEATHSTRIKE – sworn enemy of Wolverine… not the animal… the X-Man
“The Lady EVE” – referred to as a screwball comedy in 1941, and as corny now
Lady FOOT Locker or ladyfingers – so either a shoe store or cookies
Lady GODIVA – a naked lady that rode on a horse to open a candy store, or something
“LadyHAWKE” – an awesome movie starring Matthew Broderick… or was it Ethan Hawke?
“Lady IN Red“ or “Lady IN the Water” – one of these is intolerable… I’ll let you decide
Lady JANE (salon, song, or flick) or Lady JAYE – my favorite is the G.I. Joe character, ‘natch
“LadyKILLERS” – is it a Tom Hanks flop, a Coen Brothers flop, or a Marlon Wayans success?
Lady LIBERTY, Lady LUCK, or Lady LAZARUS – an iconic symbol, a loser’s lover, and a Sylvia Plath poem… good times, good times…
Lady MARMALADE, Lady Macbeth, or Lady MADONNA – two tunes and a Shakespearean loon
Lady NINJA Kasumi – she’s referred to as a skanky ninja, just as expected in Japan
OUR Lady Peace – one of my favorite Canadian bands
Lady PINK – a renowned graffiti artist… and here I thought they weren’t supposed to be renowned
“Lady Q” – a book about a former gang member
Lady RIZO and the Assettes – a merry band of burlesque performers
Lady SAW or Lady STARLIGHT – a reggae singer and Lady Gaga’s mentor
Lady TIGRA – remember the Miami Bass hip-hop duo, L’Trimm? Well she was in it…
Lady URSULA Misseldon – apparently, she’s a character on The Tudors
Lady VOLUNTEERS or “Sympathy for Lady VENGEANCE” – one’s a college basketball team from Tennessee and the other is a South Korean film… the ball’s in your court to decide which is which…
Lady WINDERMERE Syndrome – it’s a lung infection named after Lady Windermere’s Fan, by Oscar Wilde… sure, I could have referenced the play, but the ailment is funnier
Lady XOC or Lady XIN – a Mayan queen and a smart Chinese woman (insert sexist joke here)
Lady YANG – she was a Chinese consort, princess, and Taoist nun… in other words, she stayed busy…
Lady ZEP, Lady ZEPHRIS. or Lady ZELDA – this is my favorite group… one’s a Led Zeppelin cover band, one’s a creature from World of Warcraft, and one’s a charter yacht… I couldn’t have made any one of those up

BONUS MUSICAL MUSING: I’ve intended to gripe about this for a while now, but I kept forgetting to. It’s more shit that is plantains, and I didn’t hear any mention of it anywhere else. Why was Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl (I’m not linking the video for spite) such a huge deal when Jill Sobule sang about the same thing back in 1995, when it was still sort of taboo? Nowadays, it’s kind of slutty.

SIDENOTE: I’m not saying I want it to stop.

BONUS NON-MUSICAL MUSING: Cougars grow up to become cat women.

Happy Find… The Beardly

Posted on February 26, 2010 by sgottahurt

Also equals... "Awesome"

The last Happy Find kick I was on involved the websites with fuck in their URL. Between Selleck Waterfall Sandwich and now The Beardly, I hope not to continue a facial hair trend.

But, you never know, considering the current state of my face:

My suggested slogans are below...

Soccer Face Warmers.
Growing Beards is a Habit We’ll Never Kick.
There is No Redemption, Only Beards.

Drunken Recollection… What Would My Detroit Soccer Team Be Called?

Posted on February 13, 2010 by sgottahurt

Whilst drinking, the mind tends to wander into the realm of good fortunes… and in this case, the good fortunes was a real fortune. As in, What would I do if I won the lottery?

Of course this requires me purchasing a ticket, but I do not take part in the “idiot tax” except maybe once a year.

My first expenditure – producing one of my, um, unproduced scripts (which would be all of them).

My second expenditure – a Major League Soccer team in Detroit.

So what teams have come before? Well, there’s…