As I set out to make this short list of songs that reference video game systems (in other words, A Handful Of), I realized that rap music is not one of my strong suits. So I would have included Notorious BIG’s Juicy if I was familiar with the song. But I’m not; so I won’t… even though it included references to Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis. I don’t have any songs that reference those systems, but I have my standards. So onto the list:
Cee Lo Green’s Fuck You (XBOX, Atari)
Another Bad Creation’s Iesha (Nintendo)
B.O.B. and Bruno Mars’ Nothing on You (Nintendo 64)
American Hi-Fi’s Flavor of the Weak (Nintendo)
Eminem and Rihanna’s Love the Way You Lie (ugh, Nintendo again)
Notorious B.I.G.’s Juicy (Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis)
Every once in a while, it’s nice to scoff at someone else’s misery mixup. I’m not free of confusion in this situation, but it involves my boss/friend Paul, and the group Supertramp.
First off, I was unaware they made The Logical Song…
…and, well I’ll get to the other song in a little bit.
One day, Paul burst into the office, convinced that the Goo Goo Dolls had ripped off one of Supertramp’s songs. He swore the end of one of their songs directly stole the ending, but he couldn’t remember which of either.
As I mentioned, I was only familiar with the above tune, so we scoured Goo Goo Dolls’ catalog on YouTube, skipping to just the end of almost all their hits. When we finally hit upon Give a Little Bit, Paul was elated that this was the song. Now we only needed to figure out the Supertramp song.
To this day, I still have no idea how this video ever got released:
Britney Spears was only 17 at the time, and unless my morals have changed a shit-ton since 1999, having a (slightly) underage girl writhing about in a navel-exposing school uniform seems unlikely to fly today.
Um, guess again... (click image for video)
But that’s not what this post is about. It’s about Britney’s dancing ability (or declining lack thereof).
Relax Chris Crocker, it's not going to be that bad...
I know she had a bad knee injury in 2004 (only because I looked it up), but the lack of moves in her new video for Hold It Against Me is tantamount to Aretha Franklin trying to dance.
If you are not watching this show, you haven't seen it.
Friday’s are the one day of the week I’m most likely to spiral out of control. It used to be Mondays and Tuesdays. And Thursdays. And Wednesdays. And sometimes Sundays. Rarely Saturdays because that’s amateur hour. But yeah, these days, I’m lame and go the extra mile on Fridays.
Now don’t you go and worry that I don’t drink any of the other days. Because I do. Each day. Almost exclusively. (Yes, I know what exclusively means.)
Anyputabirdonit, the shows theme song reminded my friends and I of an 80’s song. Here’s the theme (and not the awesome premise theme):
Feel It All Around by Washed Out
I initially thought it was:
Baby I Love Your Way by Peter Frampton
But I was on the wrong side of that emotion. It actually reminded me (and us?) of this:
There wasn’t much to this dream, but I woke up thinking it was kinda funny. Since you may be used to the usual unfunny that I provide, the best I can do is present the bait-and-switch my own mind pulled.
There’s a reason I record everything on my DVR – I can’t stand commercials anymore. Now in some cases, it leads me to discover the existence of new shows, such as Chris Elliott’s Eagleheart:
But in most cases, it reminds me that “Yes Virginia, crap does exist.” Behold:
Let this be known – I tried so hard to block this film from my mind, but it’s found me, despite my best defenses… of a quick jump button on my DVR remote.
Ugh… there’s something I need to admit to all of you…
…um, how do I say this…
I entered a contest to name Justin Bieber’s movie. I didn’t win, and I’m afraid I’m taking it out on the finished product. Obviously, this won:
"Beans are indeed the musical fruit. Where's the nearest restroom?"
My quest to expose copycats in Hollywood is reaching a fever pitch. We’ve always known that these types of practices went on, but I feel like I’m becoming a champion for originality, even in the slightest of degrees.
And my attack is not always just against the producers of the recycled entertainment, sometimes the hungry audience is of equal blame. But what should I expect from a public that lives off fast food.
Probably unclear diatribe over. But for some examples of my past battles, you can check here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. (There are probably more that I can’t recall at this moment.)
Max Martin and Pink co-wrote the song, Fuckin’ Perfect, which was released December 14, 2010. Y’know… just in fuckin’ time for Christmas.
Dr. Luke and Brit pop-star, Jessie J, co-wrote the song, Price Tag, which was released January 25, 2011. Y’know… one month after– forget it.
Listen to Pink’s chorus at about the 0:48 minute mark:
Now listen to Jessie J’s chorus at about the 1:01 minute mark:
For rhythmic comparison, Fuckin’ Perfect lyrics:
Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than f*ckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing
You’re f*ckin’ perfect to me!
And Price Tag’s lyrics:
It’s not about the money, money, money
We don’t need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag
AM I CRAZY?!? It’s the same, right?
So rather than go on with this rigmarole, I’ve decided to think of this new style of music as a 70’s animation cheat. The technique is referred to as the wraparound background, and it was quite often deployed in the old Hanna-Barbera cartoons.
Here it is on display in Scooby-Doo. Watch the two hallways loop while Scooby and Shaggy flee:
This will inevitably get taken down, but since it destroyed me emotionally as much as it lifted my spirits, I shall share it with you, as if you probably haven’t already seen it.
(SIDENOTE: I’ve never thought more highly of Steven Tyler than after this. Not that I thought highly of him beforehand…)
This is a situation where it’s best for you to sit down. Yes, I realize you’re probably already sitting since you’re using a computer or mobile device to check out this awesome website, but I want your brain to sit down, too.
This will start off a simple enough exercise (literally) and will eventually end up with a simple enough exorcise (bonus literally). Be wary as you embark on this Awful Battle…
(SIDENOTE: I think that’s a dude in the last video…)
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