From the incredible Birdemic: Shock and Terror…
(SIDENOTE: BTW, this is my new family anthem, which is good, since we didn’t have one. To be honest, I didn’t know we needed one until I witnessed this.)
(BONUS SIDENOTE: Birdemic II: The Resurrection 3D is in the works, and I’d be lying if I said I can’t wait.)
The best part of the Twilight series is that it’s closer to being over. Just like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the final book in the series will be split into two films, Breaking Dawn, Part 1:
They were "thisclose" to going with Breaking Wind.
And of course, Breaking Dawn, Part 2. (SIDENOTE: If this wasn’t a post In Defense Of the films, I might have added that I needed to spell that out to the fans, but it is, so I won’t.)
Anyedward, to stand up for this pop culture phenomenon, I could use writer/director Kevin Smith’s logic:
But I’m going to go with anti-logic instead. (SIDENOTE: Again, if this wasn’t a post In Defense Of the films… well, you know.)
My big defense is at least it’s not this film:
Hey! September and December are the rhymiest months! (November is too, I guess.)
There have been many songs about various months, but did you know that there is one month that never had a song about it? Which month has the most? Which month has the least (besides zero)?
You can guess; I’ll give you the answers after the jump.
(SIDENOTE: What’s weird is that I’ve heard of a lot of these artists, but never most of these songs. What’s weirder still is the artists I hadn’t even heard of didn’t have videos on YouTube. So if they didn’t have a video, they didn’t make my list.
Oh yeah.
That’s right.
I even looked up the videos for you to check out. One-hundred-and-fucking-one videos. You better check at least some of them out.) Read More
I’ve already written about once dance move named after someone before (The Dougie, named after Doug E. Fresh, RIP M-Bone), so why not do it again?
This time it’s about another dance named after a character (c’mon, Doug E. Fresh isn’t his real name). This time it’s Movin’ Like Berney, after the eponymous Weekend at Bernie’s:
I had not much more to write about this, until I realized there are other dances named after characters. There’s the Roger Rabbit, the Running Man, the Cabbage Patch (Kids), and Batman (who could forget the Prince’s Batdance no matter how hard you try?)…
But who else should have their own dance?
Forrest Gump?
E.T.?
Got it… Nicolas Cage (he’s a character, for sure)…
It seems like a lot of Drunken Recollections are about mix-ups, so why not create a term for it:
ALCONFUSION
This post is about a pair of moments of alconfusion… one on my behalf, one on behalf of another.
While in Kentucky for the derby, I was at the bar and somebody was talking about Rachel Nichols and her possible hook-ups with most of the NFL or NBA or whatever… that’s neither here nor there. They were talking about the sportscaster from ESPN:
Rachel Nichols, daughter of director Mike Nichols and her mother
I thought they were talking about this Rachel Nichols:
Except she's not normally green...
Hopefully this will help:
Yo Joe, indeed.
So my alconfusion was me thinking they were speaking ill of actress Rachel Nichols when they weren’t. They were just speaking ill of the sportscaster I don’t find attractive know.
I was going to write about Lupe Fiasco’s The Show Goes On a while back because it liberally borrows from Modest Mouse’s Float On, but the song’s creators acknowledged that at the time of release, so I didn’t. But I get to write about it today.
While this tune played at the bar, a friend asked who performed this Float On rip-off. I answered correctly, but what she thought I said cracked me up.
I replied:
Lupe Fiasco
She heard:
Beefy Asshole
Far be it for me to claim that I’m above listening to the Love Song station on Sirius XM, so here’s me claiming I’m well below.
Today, I heard this tune from 1968 by Bobby Goldsboro (?) called Honey, and in many ways, it’s simply terrible.
First, I’ve always found that songs about… well, let me make you listen to it first:
How misogynistic can this song be? He laughs at her crying, he laughs at her dreaming, he laughs at her almost hurting her herself… he even calls her “kinda dumb.” And as for the twist ending? She’s dead?! Like I was about to say before the video, I never understood the trend of dead teenager songs in the 60’s, but this one has the special distinction of once being called the worst song of all time.
I probably wouldn’t go that far. These two current songs are pretty bad, too.
I’ve looked high and I’ve looked low, and lo and behold, there she was on the TripleDoubleU…
(SIDENOTE: I really want to get that mask…)
This is a true Coinkydonk or Coinkydonk because it is a coincidence… or not.
Both Lil Wayne and Jason Derulo have recently released new singles that sample the same song! Sure, it’s different parts of the delightful ditty, Harry Belafonte’s Day-O, also known as The Banana Boat Song from Beetlejuice, but still.
Derulo’s song also heavily samples a song by Robin S. called Show Me Love:
Which incidentally happens to share the same name, Show Me Love, as a song by a Swedish pop star named… Robyn:
In closing, doesn’t Lil Wayne bear an uncanny resemblance to Howard Stern semi-regular, Beetlejuice?
"Weezy and the Beet"
I finally got Sirius XM a few months ago, and as it goes with most new technologies that I drag my feet on, I don’t know how I lived without it.
(SIDENOTE: I’m still unsure how I feel about Facebook. It reminds of the last fifteen minutes of LOST when everyone finds each other in “heaven” against all odds. Have I mentioned how much I hate the last fifteen minutes of LOST?)
That being said, I bounce around the stations. Whereas I used to have about 10 terrestrial channels, I now have an additional 10 solid satellite ones, if not more. So for me to stumble across a crossover country song isn’t that unusual. What is unusual is this song by Tim McGraw called Felt Good on My Lips:
That’s country music? I mean, yeah, there’s still the omnipresent xenophobia, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a good ol’ boy recite these kind of lyrics:
She ordered us a drink
It was a purple kind of pink
She said it’s got a shot of a little bit of everything
Mellow yellow umbrella for a fella like me
It was just a bit mellow for me to be seen with
And also, what’s up with the last song by Taylor Swift? Back to December sounds like it wants to be the first countremo song (that would be emo country in case you were wondering):
In the spirit of full disclosure – I kind of like both songs I don’t really give a ten-gallon hat.
Love ain’t what it used to be, I guess. And what it used to be was creepy and stalker-ish. How these songs were possible isn’t my greatest concern… it’s the fact that they were popular!
Each of these songs were certifiable as The Shit at the time of their initial release (or in one case, re-release).
This one should be obvious. But it should be noted that it’s a remake of a French song… about stalking. It should also be noted that Little Peggy March was 15 when she recorded this (and she’s still the youngest female artist to have a U.S. chart-topping single).
Sample lyrics: Into my room he creeps? Into my dreams he peeps? This is a love song? (BTW, I love this video someone made, mostly because the dude is wearing an eye patch…)
Singer Debbie Harry based this song on her ex that once stalked her. I never realized it was about that, although I should have from the chorus, or with these lyrics: I’ll walk down the mall/ Stand over by the wall/ Where I can see it all/ Find out who ya call…
Okay, this one isn’t as heavy on the stalker side as it is creepy. With lyrics like She’s just 16 years old/ Leave her alone, they say, it’s a creepy win. Neil Diamond almost made this list for the same reason, but there was some extrapolating involved. He wrote Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon in 1967, then he wrote Sweet Caroline in 1969 about Caroline Kennedy… who was 12 at the time.
Sting claims it’s more about Big Brother than a voyeuristic lover, but either way… heebie-jeebies ensue.
If it weren’t for the video, this one could have slid by unnoticed. But I’m not blind… that was probably a poor choice of words. Don Henley’s Boys of Summer almost took a spot for swimming around stalking (I’m driving by your house/ Though I know that you’re not home… Remember how you drove me crazy?/ Remember how I made you scream?), but its video, which is nowhere to be (easily) found, kept memories of it light and nostalgic.
So where are all the good creepy stalker songs these days? In 27 years, have they truly gone the way of Just Shitty?
Nevermind…
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