InASense, Lost… I-Dosing, Or “What’s Wrong With Kids These Days?”

Chances are pretty good that you haven’t heard of i-Dosing.  If you have, chances are better that you haven’t tried it.

Essentially, it amounts to numbskulls listening to this strange series of sounds (in most cases, the kids play Gates of Hades on their headphones).  By covering your eyes and hearing this track, the kids believe they’re experiencing a high similar to using cocaine or ecstasy.

Here’s a sample of a dipshit i-Dosing:

I planned on posting the actual noises produced during the course of Gates of Hades, but it was removed from YouTube and now sells on their actual website for $199.95… just like an actual pusher – at first it was free, but now you gotta pay.

In reality, it’s caused by playing binaural beats.  You can read about it here.  But if I know you – and I think I do – you’d rather watch a video about it hear here:

(SIDENOTE: Ha ha… you still had to read!)

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InASense, Lost… Did You Know These Were Naughty Band Names?

Musicians can be dirty people.  Everybody knows that.  (There’s an infamous story about how Kenny G once double-dipped his chip at a party… that’s where Seinfeld got the idea from.)

But did you know that they’re band names can be just as dirty?  (You don’t want to know what Yo-Yo Ma really means.)

Here are some visual “representations” of what certain band names (you’ve heard of) mean:

MALE THINGS

One-Eyed Willy from The Goonies is a likely euphemism for PENIS... never thought about it before, didja? Oh, you did? Pardon me.

Finger Eleven
Sex Pistols
Tool
Whitesnake

(SIDENOTE: I highly regret starting this post.)

10cc
Pearl Jam

FEMALE THINGS

This couch has a (insert euphemism for VAGINA).

Hole

SEX TOYS

What else can I say?

Steely Dan

This is one of the scariest things I've ever posted. Yet...

Goo Goo Dolls

SEX GAMES/POSITIONS

Connect the dots...

Scissor Sisters

Connect the dots further...

Limp Bizkit

InASense, Lost… Create A Character Contest Strikes Back!

In 1985, this happened:

This was from the back of the funny pages, and it was serious.

So I decided to enter the contest, and at age ten, I created these characters:

I entered all of the above except for CARRYVAN, and the one I didn't even like called PUPPY HOG.

For entering so many characters (I guess), I won this playset:

My mom offered to take it back to the store to get something else. I refused. I played with it once.

These ended up being the finalists:

What the fuck?

Fearless Photog won the vote, but no toy was ever made.  At this year’s San Diego Comic-Con, it was announced that there would finally be a toy:

You're still kidding me, right?

But there was one bit of satisfaction I was always able to maintain.  Mattel ripped off my Elephantom!

They gave him a robot head and dubbed him Snout Spout.

But now, there’s this:

Victory will be mine!

I will keep you posted on my final entries.  Yes, there will be many.

————————————————————————————————————-

In case you were interested, here are each of the character’s write ups as they were when I was ten:

C.A.R.’s a small, weak wimp that can be Crushed And Restored. But every time he’s crushed by Evil, he gets mad, and when he gets mad, he gets bigger and stronger and wants revenge.  Only He-Man can talk him out of this vengeance he want.  But every time he’s crushed by Good, he gets courageous.

I guess I didn’t like that idea.  Why would good guys crush him?

When Ill-Yusion sways his hands illusions appear.  Anything he thinks of at the time will become an illusion.  Also, he is always ill.  So anytime he coughs or sneezes, an illusion will appear or disappear.

He was always ill?  Who saw that coming?

Ticklon has four arms.  The two upper arms tickle a victim and the two lower arms grab the weapons.  So there is no need for a weapon of his own with arms like this.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Kangaruin (then named Kangaroo Man) has a pouch to keep things hidden.  Can jump to the length of 50 feet and can jump as high as 20 feet.  His hands and feet are very powerful.  He can punch or kick through any solid material.

Liquid materials, forget it.

Walrusaur (then named Walrus Man) has stun rays in his teeth. His teeth can also eat through 3/5 of any material except lime stone, like the walls of Castle Grayskull.  His flipper hands and feet make him a good swimmer (and slapper).

There should have been more slapping in He-Man cartoons.

Elephantom – The ghostly elephant whose trunk can stretch miles until the enemy’s caught. Weighs nothing with unbelievable strength.

Snout Spout was only shown in the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special, and some She-Ra episodes, although I never saw those.

She-Yuld – Her shields create invisible force fields that keeps gathering around.  Once finished, ricochets anything that hits them.  Her shields have magnetic forces under them, too.

I don’t get what any of that means.

Clustor (Tartor, Ropego, and Gluestick together) – Tartor alone shakes his leg and gooky tar flies; Ropego alone has a rope arm and buzzsaw spurs on his heels; Gluestick alone spits glue from his mouth.  Together as Clustor they are stronger than ever: streams of glue from the mouth, a more controllable rope arm, and buckets of tar from the legs of Clustor.

Gluestick was the best I could come up with?

InASense, Lost… It’s Already Been A Dozen Years

The 1990’s.

They finished twelve years ago.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

Some of the stuff in this video happened twenty years ago:

Microchips, microwaves, faxes, airplane phones, Hammertime, monthly visitors, witches were women, Cinderella would talk deals on her cellular phone and throw her wicked step sisters into the pool, people kissed, girlfriends had girlfriends, parents discussed sex with their children – or not, you would say something cool before you hit someone in the face, unnecessary litigation…

Anybody miss the hair?

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/29455771]

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InASense, Lost… The Scarlett Test

I am curious.

That’s the name of two Swedish films from the 60’s (Blue and Yellow were their distinctions), and they were controversial for being sexual and frank about being sexual.

This post is going to be kind of like that.  As you may or may not have heard, nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson have leaked onto the TripleDoubleU, and I’m going to share them here… embedded of course.

I am curious how many hits this post will get.  I will keep you posted in the comments.

Picture 1Picture 2

This photo is here because it was the next best thing:

Cool socks.

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InASense, Lost… Push, Push, Pushing The Envelope

I recently found out there once was quite a bit of some controversy over the cover of one of my favorite comics as a kid.

It was Issue #48 of ALF (yes, he had his own comic, and yes again, 48 issues equal four years)…

Here’s the cover:

No problem.

People took issue (“Ha! I kill me!”) with it because it appears that good ol’ ALF is having his way with the seal.

So for comparison, this ALF incident happened in 1991.

A way more controversial thing happened in 1986, in Issue #9 of Miracleman:

Innocent enough, right?

Well, I’m not going to post what happens inside this issue.  You’ll just have to click here if curiosity has gotten the best of you.  It’s not bad, but it’s certainly graphic, and definitely NSFW or comics.

I have not much else to say due to shock.  And surprisingly, the shock isn’t from an alien fucking a seal…

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InASense, Lost… Ya Done Goofed Again!

I’ve already written about the poorly named Magic Bullet once before (or at least I insinuated about its terrible shared moniker), but with the company’s latest product, they botched the name game again:

Why would you put those two words anywhere near each other?

They could have called it the Baby Blender… no that doesn’t work.

How about the Regurgitator?  (Now we’re getting close.)

Got it – the Home Baby Food Maker.