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Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Round Outs Edition (Round 2)

Posted on March 28, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For Round 2 of the Head Honchos bracket, click here. For Round 2 of the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For Round 2 of the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

The Round Outs bracket had a few surprises, and a couple of blow-outs. Plus, it allowed some foursomes to be represented for the first time, and it marked the third winner in a row for some groups.

THE ROUND OUTS (Round 1 Results)

– Eric Cartman (#1) continues South Park’s success at making it to Round 2. He defeated Laa-Laa easily (at the time of this posting), 29-1.

– B.A. Baracus (#2) wiped out Stephen Baldwin (#15), 16-3, making him the second A-Team member in Round 2.

– Much like the kids from South Park, the kids from Liverpool are cleaning up. George Harrison (#3) used Peter Tork (#14) like a mop, 19-1.

– Donatello (#4) became the second Ninja Turtle in Round 2, knocking out the Tin Man (#13), 11-5.

– Princess Toadstool (#5) was the only character I used to defeat Super Mario Bros. 2 (because she floated). Alas, she sunk Johnny “Drama” Chase (#12), one of the Chase Bros. if you will, 12-4.

– The American Idol judges finally have someone on the board! Kara DioGuardi (#11) upsets Elaine Benes (#6), 22-9.

– The same thing goes for my favorite show on television right now! Deandra “Sweet Dee” Reynolds (#10) makes It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia ring true. She defeats Sex and the City’s Charlotte York (#7) barely at 10-8.

– Another bracket champ so far! Egon Spengler (#8) makes it three Ghostbusters still hanging in there. He defeats The Thing (#9), 15-5. Things aren’t looking too fantastic for the Marvel heroes.

Now let’s move onto Round 2!

Eric Cartman vs. Egon Spengler

(more after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Second Bananas Edition (Round 2)

Posted on March 27, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For Round 2 of the Head Honchos bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For Round 2 of the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

THE SECOND BANANAS (Round 2 Results)

This bracket provided only one upset. Much like in the Head Honcho bracket, my love of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia did not transcend to your votes. Or perhaps I underestimated the Scarecrow’s fan base. Either way, The Wizard of Oz had enough heart to give, and the Scarecrow (#13) beat Mac (#4) overwhelmingly (at the time of this posting), 41-9.

Here are the other voting results (two were very close, one was a blow out):

Paul McCartney (#1) vs. Dipsy (#16) – 15-5
Raphael (#2) vs. Billy Baldwin (#15) – 19-4
Templeton “Faceman” Peck (#3) vs. Micky Dolenz (#14) – 13-7
Samantha Jones (#5) vs. Luigi Mario (#12) – 13-12
Kyle Broflovski (#6) vs. Eric Murphy (#11) – 20-7
George Costanza (#7) vs. The Invisible Woman (#10) – 13-12
Ray Stantz (#8) vs. Randy Jackson (#9) – 31-4

Round 2 of the Second Bananas might contain some of the toughest match-ups. Let’s go!

Paul McCartney vs. Ray Stantz

(more after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Head Honchos Edition (Round 2)

Posted on March 26, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For Round 2 of the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For Round 2 of the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

Wow.

Some of these upsets I did not see coming. But just like the NCAA tournament system this is based on, upsets are what make it interesting.

THE HEAD HONCHOS (Round 1 Results)

– First dead Beatle John Lennon (#1) was pitted against the biggest Teletubby, Tinky Winky, and rightfully so, Lennon won (at the time of this posting), 34-15.

– Moneybags/sour puss Simon Cowell (#2) lost in the first upset of the competition to the Entourage’s nougat center, Vincent Chase (#15). Not quite a blow-out at 27-17.

– There must be a fair amount of animosity being held against Jerry Seinfeld (#3) for his awful Marriage Ref show. I didn’t think enough people would remember The Monkees, let alone the group’s breakout heartthrob, Davy Jones (#14) to help him scrape by a win at 24-21.

– The next one was not even close. Peter Venkman (#4) blew Dorothy Gale (#13) all the way back to Oz with a 47-2 win.

– This one breaks my heart a little bit. Maybe if the movie remake was already out (and it didn’t suck), John “Hannibal” Smith (#5) would have defeated mushroom-addict, Mario Mario (#12). Instead, the double-monickered one won, 19-13.

– Alec Baldwin (#6) and Ninja Turtle Leonardo (#11) are a lot alike, if you take away the green color, shell, swords, and business suit. Don’t believe me? Imagine it. The green one loses to the hairy one, 31-17.

– One’s made of paper and one’s made of elastic (kind of). Stan Marsh (#7) pulls out a victory against Mr. Fantastic (#10), 27-6.

– This battle was upsetting to me. I love It’s Always Sunny in California, and I’m rather indifferent to Sex and the City. For those that voted, the opposite must have been true. Carrie Bradshaw (#9) beats Dennis Reynolds (#8), 26-19.

With that being said, onto round 2!

John Lennon vs. Carrie Bradshaw

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The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… The Epithet, Douchebag

Posted on March 25, 2010 by sgottahurt

"Allow me to introduce you to such vile things!"

Ever see the movie Nacho Libre? My friend recently told me his young sons love it, but it bothers him because it uses two bad words: floozy and douche.

I thought that was funny. No matter the misnomer, kids absorb it like a @##$% sucks up *&@%$ on a Tuesday.

This got me thinking about the etymology of the word – specifically douchebag – and how it’s beginning to feel like its power is waning. And I’m not suggesting that those people being dubbed one are accepting it, like how the cast of Jersey Shore adored being called guidos. It’s just that it seems like everybody’s a douchebag these days, and they can’t all be one, can they?

Maybe.

According to the always reliable Wikipedia, the feminine hygiene product became an insult in the 1960’s. According to Stephen King (or the other screenwriters), the word was well into play by September 1959.

From Stand By Me:

Chris: Yeah. So lets just say that I stole the milk money but old lady Simons stole it back from me. Suppose I told the story. Me, Chris Chambers, kid brother to Eyeball Chambers. Do you think anyone would have believed it?

Gordie: No.

Chris: And do you think that that bitch would have dared try something like that if it had been one of those douchebags from up on the View, if they had taken the money?

Gordie: No way!

The meteoric rise in this useful word’s, um, use has to deal with either one of two things:

The website Hot Chicks with Douchebags‘ level of popularity.
The meteoric rise in the level of douchebags.

My biggest fear is that by throwing around this word so willy-nilly (a phrase that has earned tons of power from disuse), douchebag will become as dull as idiot, moron, or crystal and clear in the early 90’s.

In closing, here’s an excerpt from an insightful article on Overthinking It. Author (a.k.a. blogger) mlawski posits:

Douches = tools of the patriarchy
Douchebags = patriarchal tools
“Douchebag” = not offensive to women

“Patriarchal tools,” hmm? Well, there are plenty of them around. Tons you might say…

…I guess the term douchebag isn’t going anywhere…

…just like the douchebags themselves.

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Wild Cards Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 24, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For the Head Honchos bracket, click here. For the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here.)

Here it is… the final bracket in the Final Foursome competition. Who will make it to the ultimate quartet? Who will make it to round 2? Will anybody help spread the word and get more votes? Does anybody care?

Well the answer to all the above questions is “Reply hazy, try again,” at least according to my Magic 8 Ball.

Nonetheless, this proud group consists of those that are a lot like a Magic 8 Ball. You never know what they’re going to do or say… within their limits. Or you flat-out don’t understand why they’re there. Kind of like, why make an eight ball magical?

THE WILD CARDS

Cosmo Kramer vs. Miranda Hobbes

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Round Outs Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 23, 2010 by sgottahurt

(For the Head Honchos bracket, click here. For the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

Welcome to the Round Outs bracket in the quest to assemble the greatest Final Foursome.

These are the players that “round out” each of their respective groups. They’re the brains, the brawns, the beauties, the talent, the bullies, the Born Again, and the, um, yellow.

THE ROUND OUTS

Eric Cartman vs. Laa-Laa

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Second Bananas Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 22, 2010 by sgottahurt

(In case you missed the first bracket for Head Honchos, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

In a quest to find the greatest foursome composed of members from many foursomes, here’s the appropriately titled second bracket, Second Bananas. These are the guys and the gals that make the Head Honchos look like head honchos. If it was in their nature, they’d be at the top… but they don’t feel like it.

Stayed tuned for the Round Outs and Wild Cards brackets.

Keep voting and please keep spreading the word!

THE SECOND BANANAS

Paul McCartney vs. Dipsy

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Awesome Battle… Final Foursome – Head Honcho Edition (Round 1)

Posted on March 22, 2010 by sgottahurt

I’ve wanted to do an Awesome Battle involving the greatest foursomes in pop culture four some time now.

The foursomes I’ve selected to focus on:

The Beatles
Ghostbusters
The A-Team
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
South Park
the cast regulars of Seinfeld
The Monkees
Fantastic Four
the cast regulars of Sex and the City
Teletubbies
the selectable players of Super Mario Bros. 2 for the NES
the Baldwin Brothers
the current judges on American Idol
the primary cast of The Wizard of Oz
the cast regulars of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (starting with the first season)
Entourage

And since we’re in the midst of March Madness, I though what could be better than creating a bracket four finding the best of the best in each of these groups, and make the BEST FOURSOME EVER!

Each Sunday Whenever I get around to it, I’ll post the previous round’s results and the next bracket edition. To begin, here are the Head Honchos. Following this will be the Second Bananas, then the Round Outs, and finally the Wild Cards. Vote as often as you can from any computer you can get to, and tell your friends. (Please!)

The more votes I get, the more accurate the Final Foursome’s quality will be.

(For the Second Bananas bracket, click here. For the Round Outs bracket, click here. For the Wild Cards bracket, click here.)

THE HEAD HONCHOS

John Lennon vs. Tinky Winky

(The rest are after the jump) Read More

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Sandra Bullock’s Pickle

Posted on March 19, 2010 by sgottahurt

Definition: pick•le (v)

fix; informal term for a difficult situation; “he got into a terrible fix”; “he made a muddle of his marriage”; “Sandra Bullock’s in quite a pickle”

Hot off of an Oscar (and Razzie) win, Sandra Bullock has found herself on the butt-end of a debacle involving her husband, Jesse James, possibly having an affair with tattoo canvas, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

James’ former paramour and mother of his daughter, Janine Lindemulder, was also a fan of porn, well, watch this video and see…