Drunken Recollection… Condiment Machines Full Of

Let’s face it.  Pick-up lines suck.  I recently asked a waitress at one of the gang’s usual spots what she thought of them.  My friend had a poor one that involved a vulgar nickname, whereas I tested the classic stolen by the movie Hall Pass:

How much does a polar bear weigh?  Enough to break the ice.

Cheesy as hell?  Yes.  Good?  Not really… but it’s nowhere near offensive is my point.

At this point, the waitress shared what she thought was a cute pick-up line.  I don’t know if it happened to her, and if it did, whether it worked, but here it goes… a guy hurries up to a girl holding something in his hand, and he says:

You dropped your name tag.

And he gives her this:

 

Stunned, we were.  (Talked like Yoda, we didn’t.)  Once she walked away, and the spirited conversation began.

Here are some alternates (WARNING! BY DEFAULT, THEY ARE NOT GOOD!):

SAY:

I did this to my courage to talk to you.

HAND OVER:

SAY:

I’m glad I was able to do this to you.

HAND OVER:

SAY:

I’ll do this to the time we spend together.

HAND OVER:

SAY:

I view you as this.

HAND OVER:

(SIDENOTE: This was our favorite from the night.)

SAY WHILE HANDING OVER:

ACCEPTABLE FOLLOW-UP ITEM TO HAND OVER AS YOUR RESPONSE:

UNACCEPTABLE FOLLOW-UP ITEM TO HAND OVER AS YOUR RESPONSE:

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