My cousin Steve sent me an email a while back in which he told me to watch a certain video. He didn’t provide any context, or drinking game rules. It was Joe Nichols’ If Nobody Believed In You. Check it out for yourself:
So as I watched, I wondered what my cousin was trying to showcase. The creepy guy watching a kid’s ballgame all alone? The creepy guy staring down a downtrodden old man? Was Heath Ledger pulling off a Tupac/Makaveli life-after-death reinvention?
Then I realized what he was trying to tell me – this song and video were lame.
A few other songs have popped back into my life lately that are just as – if not more – lame. And I listen to a bunch of lame music as it is. But instead of the sappy and maudlin I’d usually reserve for the designation lame, these are sort of well-written sappy and maudlin lame songs.
- Soul Asylum – Misery
For some reason, my boss/friend Paul started singing this around the office, and dammit if it didn’t get stuck in my head. He does this to me often since I’m very susceptible to earworms. But this song is flat-out awful, despite lyrics like this:
They say misery
We could start a company
And make misery
- Heart – All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You
This I heard on the way to school. (Yes, I’m back in
school continuing education.) I knew it better than I cared to remember. Sample lyrics belted quite believably by Ann Wilson:
I said, here is the flower, here is the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Now, don’t try to find me, please don’t you dare
Just live in my memory, you’ll always be there
- Debby Boone – You Light Up My Life
This seems like an easy one to pick on, but it was just featured in an episode of Raising Hope. This is probably the queen of lame songs, and the list could go on and on from everything that followed this light-ning rod of goody-two-shoes-ness (as opposed to goody-three-shoes?)…
You know the lyrics: