Just Sh–ty To The Sh–… Now That’s A Housewives Show!

I do not/will not watch any of the Real Housewives’ shows.  It’s not just because I don’t know where Bravo is on my cable (isn’t in syndication now anyway?), and it’s not because I’m some loyal fan of the show it was “inspired” by, ABC’s Desperate Housewives.  It’s merely because it’s not my cup of T & A, where the T is for terrible and the A is for annoying.

But my brother presented an idea which isn’t far from the reality of what these “Real” scenarios are:

The UnReal Housewives of _________

Allow me to fill in some of the casting blanks:

The UnReal Housewives of Detroit

Starring:

  • Jackée Harry as Lisa Landry on Sister, Sister
  • Katey Sagal as Cate Hennessy on 8 Simple Rules
  • Patricia Richardson as Jill Taylor on Home Improvement
  • Tisha Campbell as  Gina Waters-Payne on Martin

The UnReal Housewives of Chicago

Starring:

  • Courtney Thorne-Smith as Cheryl on According to Jim
  • Suzanne Pleshette as Emily Hartley on The Bob Newhart Show
  • JoMarie Payton as Harriet Winslow on Family Matters
  • Katey Sagal as Peg Bundy on Married… with Children
  • Roseanne as Roseanne Conner on Roseanne
  • Susan Clark as Katherine “Ma’am” Papadapolis on Webster

The UnReal Housewives of New York

Starring:

  • Jean Stapleton as Edith Bunker on All in the Family
  • Phylicia Rashad as Clair Huxtable on The Cosby Show
  • Tichina Arnold as Rochelle on Everybody Hates Chris
  • Doris Roberts as Marie Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond
  • Megyn Price as Claudia Finnerty on Grounded for Life
  • Alyson Hannigan as Lily Aldrin on How I Met Your Mother
  • Joanna Kerns as Maggie Seaver on Growing Pains
  • Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden on The Honeymooners
  • Lucille Ball as Lucy Ricardo on I Love Lucy
  • Isabel Sanford as Louise Jefferson on The Jeffersons
  • Leah Remini as Carrie Heffernan on The King of Queens
  • Helen Hunt as Jamie Buchman on Mad About You
  • Mary Tyler Moore as Laura Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show
  • Phylicia Rashad as Ruth Lucas on Cosby

The UnReal Housewives of Milwaukee

Starring:

  • Betty Garrett as Edna Babish De Fazio on Laverne & Shirley
  • Marion Ross as Marion Cunningham on Happy Days
  • Suzanne Somers as Carol Foster on Step By Step
  • Debra Jo Rupp as Kitty Forman on That 70’s Show

The UnReal Housewives of Los Angeles

Starring:

  • Michele Scarabelli as Susan Francisco on Alien Nation
  • Kellita Smith as Wanda McCullough on The Bernie Mac Show
  • Carol Potter as Cindy Walsh on Beverly Hills 90210
  • Florence Henderson as Carol Brady on The Brady Bunch
  • Janet Hubert-Whitten and Daphne Maxwell Reid as Vivian Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
  • Constance Marie as Angie Palmero on George Lopez
  • Cheryl Hines as Cheryl David on Curb Your Enthusiasm
  • Sofía Vergara as Gloria Delgado-Pritchett on Modern Family
  • Sheryl Lee Ralph as Deidra “Dee” Mitchell on Moesha
  • Kate Walsh as Dr. Addison Montgomery on Private Practice

The UnReal Housewives of Miami

This was way, way too much work for this punchline.  You can definitely tell Detroit was done first…

(locations via)

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