Month: September 2010

Worth 1002 Words… Giant Goldfish Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Holy Carp

Some alternates:

(source)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Facebook On MySpace?

Posted on by sgottahurt

For some reason, my friend Chris went onto MySpace today, and he saw this:

It’s an advertisement for The Social Network, a film about the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg.

I can only assume that because the film is allegedly an attack on Zuckerberg, that’s why it’s on the site.

But still… it leads me to wonder Hibbidy-Wah?!

Why did Chris go to MySpace?!

Musical Musings… History Lessons

Posted on by sgottahurt

Did you know…

(I’ll let you look up the graphic video footage.)

(Why?  Because they rock the Casbah?  Makes little sense to me.)

(You really need to check out the list.  There are some weird choices on it.)

  • …that this list is depressing?

So to change gears, how about I share a song I forgot about long ago and recently heard again in a grocery store.  It certainly cheered me up.

Do you know it?

JusWondering… Which Happened Longer Ago – Star Wars Or Lord Of The Rings?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This originated as a Drunken Recollection, but it was so long ago (or I was so hammered), I don’t recall the events that lead to the discussion.  But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve wanted to map out where other period pieces fell.

So here’s what you get, you lucky bastards:

  • When The Lord of the Rings took place, according to some nerd:

While it’s fiction, Tolkien did leave a telling clue as to his “historic timetable”. Numenor, also called Atlantis, was destroyed about 3000 years before the events of Lord of the Rings. The reference we have in actual historical records about Atlantis date that city at 10,000 BCE. So, the events of the trilogy would have taken place around 7000 BCE, with the fading of magic and the start of the fourth age around that time. (Keep in mind that the Atlantis story itself comes from a single reference in what amounted to a text about political systems).

BTW, BCE is the new PC term for BC (CE is the new AD, I guess).  And since we’re just over 2000 years beyond the nerds estimate, I’m sticking with about 10,000 years ago.

Now as for Star Wars, there is some divide, mostly because people are idiots, and they can’t grasp the concept a long time ago and futuristic technology.

It’s not specified in Earth years, just that it happened “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” Most of the dates in Star Wars are relative to pivotal battles. The Battle of Yavin is typically used as the starting point. So everything is either BBY (Before Battle of Yavin) or ABY (After Battle of Yavin).

There are two possibilities. The Star Wars universe might be located in a parallel universe and might be taking place in our time. Or if they are in war in our Milky Way Galaxy, the date is most likely the year 3,000. If current technological advances keep up in the rapid pace they are in we will one day live in a Star Wars-like universe, I guarantee it.

That’s a guarantee to put money on.  What a fucking dipshit.  He contradicted himself in his own answer.  In all actuality, I liked this answer the best:

1943

So that got me thinking… what if the Star Wars films really took place in our universe.  Perhaps during the Clone Wars, some Jedi or Sith Lords happened upon or planet, and taught the ancient Egyptians how to build the pyramids?  That would place them at about 5000 years ago.

And maybe what happened in Roswell was a cover up of a long-awaited return visit.

And maybe, just maybe… that’s where the English language came from.

And finally, here’s that period piece map I promised.  Enjoy!

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Fantasy Football Is Pokémon Is Fantasy Football

Posted on by sgottahurt

I choose you, Pikacheerleader!

I’ve gotten into way too many arguments about this lately, so I decided to end the battle here once and all.

I say:

FANTASY FOOTBALL IS NO DIFFERENT THAN POKÉMON.

My friends say:

But it is different!  There’s gambling involved!

Well, kids use to gamble their pogs, but that doesn’t make pogs fantasy football.   So allow me to further illustrate the Coinkydinks (or Coinkydonks)…

  • Each competitor chooses their combatants.

Whether it’s Squirtle or Tom Brady, I see no difference here.

  • Each combatant falls into different categories.

Using the two examples from above, you need water-types and quarterbacks, fire-types and tight ends, electric-types and wide receivers… you see where I’m going here.

  • Each competitor sets up their combatants based upon statistics to battle other competitors.

‘Nuff said.

  • Some combatants are ranked higher than others, and competitors go to great lengths to get them.

Chris Johnson was the #1 draft pick in fantasy football this year; when I used to play Pokémon, MewTwo was the bee’s knees.

  • Plus, how much of a difference is there between these:

And these:

  • Oh, yeah… and then there’s that whole fantasy aspect…

(I didn’t know enough about Dungeons & Dragons to make that comparison, but this guy did.)

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Celebrity Anagram Edition (With Pictures!)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Wordplay is one of my favorite things, and anagrams are no exception.

Photoshop is also one of my favorite things, so today I decided to bring them together in a So, Duh! Pop Quiz.

If you don’t know what an anagram is, it’s when you take the existing letters of a word or phrase and mix them up into something else:

DO ZIP QUO PUSH is a (terrible) anagram of SO DUH POP QUIZ

Your job is to figure out which celebrity’s name is each anagram.  The visual aids are purely for my enjoyment.  Good luck!

1)

Radish for Ron

2)

Cable Kink Tease

3) NOTE: Sadly, I did not get to make a picture for this one, but it makes for a nice pun.

Alibi Worn Slim

4)

Arab Cab Amok

5)

Fax Gnome

(Answers after the jump) Read More

A Handful Of… Fake Business Cards

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m letting Fernando Reza of Fro Design do the heavy lifting for me today.

Here’s A Handful Of business cards he made based on unforgettable corporate entities from TV and film.

Okay, here’s my one contribution… that somebody else did:

Drunken Recollection… How This Happened I’ll Never Know

Posted on by sgottahurt

As I mentioned in the title… how this happened, I’ll never know.  And besides that, I wish it was a much more exciting mixup than what it is.

Now please keep in mind – this conversation happened extremely late into an evening of drinking, but for some reason, this song was brought up:

  • Amy Grant’s That’s What Love is For

And for some reason, there was a great confusion between that song and this one:

  • Vanessa Williams and Brian McKnight’s Love Is

The mental state was so deteriorated that night, it was believed for a considerable amount of the discussion that they might have even been remakes of each other.  At times, they even sounded the same.

Like I said, the brews were bruising synapses that night.

Confusing those two songs (although their titles are similar) was almost as bad as confusing these two songs (which have a similar back beat):

  • The Beach Boys’ Kokomo
  • Sade’s Smooth Operator

InASense, Lost… Wham! Bam! No Thank You, Disney BLAM!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I did not know Disney BLAM! existed, nor should I have, as I don’t watch the Disney Channel (that much).  So upon finding these videos, I did not initially realize one of them was a parody, and it just about destroyed me.

Thank Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen body (or maybe it’s just his head, à la Ted Williams) one’s a fake.  Can you figure out which one before your brain freezes in abject refusal to continue on?

(answer after jump) Read More

Happy Find… A Capella Inception Trailer

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve watched this more times than I would have expected to based upon the premise.

PREMISE: Somebody removed the original soundtrack from the Inception preview and re-dubbed it all… the music, character voices, and sound effects.

The part that keeps me clicking replay?  The music.

Here’s the original for comparison: