InASense Lost

InASense, Lost… Go The F–k To Sleep (Plus Bonus Kid Violence!)

Posted on by sgottahurt

This book was obviously produced with tongue planted firmly in the toilet:

But I don't wanna... there's tigers...

But I think the best part is this unembeddable video (at least for WordPress) featuring Samuel L. Jackson reading it.  Totally worth checking out.

Also totally worth checking out is this song by Is Tropical called The Greeks featuring kids destroying other kids in the style of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?  It’s probably more fun/questionable than the above book:

InASense, Lost… That Can’t Really Be What They Sell?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve never denied my penchant to be  immature.  At times, I might have been vague.  Others, I’ve likely beaten around the bush (hee hee).  But this one… this one…

Fuchs sells lubricants. Lubricants. Fuchs.

(Image via this site because the day I saw one, I wasn’t quick enough. Needed lube.)

Fuchs Lubricants Company is the largest lubricant company in the world.  And of course, they’re German.  Their lubes are not meant for public use, mind you.  They’re strictly industrial grade… you know, like for porn stars…

That's a massive erection.

InASense, Lost… How Did These Slip Through The Approval Department?

Posted on by sgottahurt

First, the depths to which our society is willing to let, um, society go to will never cease to sadden me.  Case in point – an item I found in a vending machine at a local Coney Island restaurant:

Even the Care Bears are See-Thru...

Second, I guess we’ve been in the sewers gutters for a while now.  A magnet to mull over:

Alternate slogan: "Gimme a piece of that pie!"

InASense, Lost… Gutter, Meet My Mind For Some Ice Cream

Posted on by sgottahurt

Ice cream treats and traffic jams and cute girls shouldn’t automatically make me think of dirty things, but I’m afraid my poor subconscious is beyond tainted.  It’s so tainted I can barely type the word tainted and not be derailed by horrible mental images.  Dear sweet Rachel Bilson, this is not the first time your visage has been intertwined with potentially distasteful acts on this site, but I do hope it is the last… unless it’s actually about you being intertwined with potentially distasteful acts.

(SIDENOTE: If that commercial seemed foreign to you – foreign as in from over there – it’s probably because it likely is.)

InASense, Lost… The Good Ol’ Days

Posted on by sgottahurt

Without any context, my old house:

(click for links)

Then beyond this window:
And over this fence:

Another old abandoned family house:

InASense, Lost… Ben Wa, Done That (Not Really…)

Posted on by sgottahurt

A little joke recently went by me on FX’s Archer that as a scourer of the TripleDoubleU, I should have known.

It's as if they're standing over me, staring in disbelief...

It involved a character that Archer was dealing with named Benoit.  Anytime someone mentioned his associate’s name, Archer would exclaim this:

Benoit balls!

I had no idea why he kept doing this, so I brought it up to some friends, and I learned what Ben Wa balls really were.  I’ll let you click the link.

The problem that remains is we have a new Detroit Tiger named Joaquin Benoit, and every time the announcers mention his name, I can’t help but to think…

Ben Wa balls? How about Benoit strikes!

InASense, Lost… Color.com Is The Next Big Thing? Really?

Posted on by sgottahurt

To begin, anyone remember Google Wave?  It was the giant’s attempt to get a foothold on the social networking scene, and it was one huge misstep*.

Welcome to the latest entry in the monkey house… Color.com:

Their website. Dramatically lacking an array of color.

The concept is simple in the evolution of the scene.

  1. MySpace rips off Friendster.
  2. Facebook perfects MySpace.
  3. Twitter pares down Facebook.
  4. Color pares down Twitter and Facebook.

It’s just pictures.  Flickr for the instant mobile set.  (Should have been called Blinkr.)

Here’s the founder of Color discussing it, I guess (I didn’t even watch it):

So the question that remains – am I going to install the app on my iPhone?  Probably.  Seeing as how I dragged my feet on theTwitter thing years ago, and I eventually signed up.  Top that with the fact that I recently (finally) setup a Facebook account (accidentally if you believe me), there’s no stopping me now.

…I’ll let you know how it is as soon as WordPress figures out a way for me to promote this blog on it.

*Ha!

InASense, Lost… Please Spare The Lions More Bad Luck

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve only recently begun to be a Detroit Lions fan.  It wasn’t that I’m of the fair-weathered ilk.  It was just that I didn’t follow football until I started getting season tickets five or so years ago.  Now I’m officially hooked… and on the team that holds the most worst records!

But that’s neither here nor there.  What this is about is preventing the Madden Curse from effecting our breakout star – Ndamukong Suh.  If you’re not familiar with the curse (or curses in general), here’s the gist of it:

Players that appear on the cover of any Madden game have bad luck.

Where you play a part, faithful readers, is in the online vote.  A bracket hosted by ESPN can be accessed by clicking here.  Vote for Green Bay’s Super Bowl-winning quarterback, Aaron Rodgers… not our defensive Wunderkind, Suh.  Don’t make him come to your house…

Pick Aaron Rogers! Or your nose...

InASense, Lost… A Cheese And Crappers Double Whammy

Posted on by sgottahurt

I rarely watch commercials, but these are two recent ones I’ve caught while watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network who know’s what.  One reminded me of an old childhood wish, and the other made me wish I was never born.  I’ll let you figure out which wish is which.

InASense, Lost… Unaware Of This “Business”

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s another edition of InASense, Lost, and there’s still room to surprise me.

This time, it’s a children’s book entitled: The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business.

This is the cover:

Yes. That is shit on his head.

Basically, it’s about a mole that gets his head pooped upon, and the entire book he tries to figure out who did it.  SPOILER ALERT: It was the dog.  So the mole poops on the dog’s head as revenge.

The analysis from one Amazon reviewer:

So, what does this teach my children?

1. It’s ok to poop on others.
2. Revenge is better than forgiveness.
3. Different types of animal poop. (Is this really necessary?)
4. Poop is safe to touch.

Ultimately, poop is funny.  And let’s be honest… the author is German (Werner Holzwarth), and we all know they’re into Scheiße.  What?  It’s all over the TripleDoubleU so it must be true!

(SIDENOTE: If you want a good and decent children’s novel, I’d recommend A Sick Day for Amos McGee.  In fact, I’d recommend anything but The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business…)

No animal poop in this one. Just someone who feels like it.