Apparently the biggest mystery about Season 4 of “Lost” is how I missed this. Thanks to Topless Robot’s Twitter (that sounds way worse than what it is), I am no longer in the dark. Is Higgins behind Dharma? You be the judge.
Vodpod videos no longer available.Seeing as how I was supposed to get to see this preview attached to “Quantum of Solace” this past weekend, and seeing as how I didn’t get to see said preview for some quantum of a reason, I present it to you here. Y’know, in case you didn’t get to see it too. (It’s the new “Star Trek” movie, dummy!)
Man, I seriously wanted some James (Bond) on James (Kirk) action! O&BTW – the flick looks beautiful.
No, no, don’t kick me in the nards for saying that! Uumph! (keels over)
(via Buzz Cuts)
Here’s a new literal video from Dusto MCNeato (his YouTube moniker). Enjoy!
Since the video on my other post about Abby Elliott got pulled, here’s a new one. It’s from the Upright Citizens Brigade Midnight Show (that’s the YouTube channel it’s from, ‘natch), and it also stars Steve Agee (from “The Sarah Silverman Program”) and Jeff Sloniker. It’s safe!
I woke up this morning with this lyric stuck in my head: “Gee, the traffic is…”
I couldn’t remember the other word. “The traffic is delicious.” “The traffic is ridiculous.” “The traffic is… delicious.” I felt like Andy Bernard in “The Office” when he could remember the end of “Break me off a piece of that-duh-duh-duh!”
So first thing I do is turn on my pc to Google search the lyric, and found that “Gee, the traffic is terrific.” Leave it to Perry Como to be happy about it! And no wonder I couldn’t think of it!
Anywaterunderthebridge, I also dreamt an idea for “Hard Rain 2,” which may come in handy since Christian Slater’s once again out of work. Although, in my version, Seth Rogan was one of the guys, and I think I had Nicholson Lite’s role. I would detail it here, but it is actually pretty cool (IMHO) so I’m holding onto it for now. If I change my mind, you’ll be the first to know (after any person I know in real life that will pretend to listen to me, i.e. my siblings).
(Some Andy Bernard highlights after the jump… and some bonus Creed.)
Vodpod videos no longer available.Isn’t Kathie Lee Gifford such a scrumptious piece of heavenly delight? Is not her sense of humor unmatched by the kings and queens and paupers of comedy? Her comedic timing with Regis Philbin was impeccable, and often, she outshone him! Even Tracy Morgan can’t keep up with her! Amazing!
(I pray that was a sufficient amount of sarcasm… I don’t have all day.)
(via Best Week Ever)
Chalk this one up in the category of “now I’ve seen everything.” Necessity is the mother f-er of invention, and leave it to the people of this day and age to come up with this (or the children and kids, as the lead idiot doctor puts it):
Now, aside from the fact that this may or may not be something new to the scene, one aspect of consideration remains: Stupidly, who gave these stupid doctors a show? (<— In reference to random ethnic lady doc’s double vag comment… hilarious! No? Oh, well.)
One of my friends from back in the day, John, put it best. At a Halloween party on U of M’s campus, one of our mutual friend’s roommates – who was a space aeronautics and astrophysics student, mind you – decided to streak around the block. John’s observation: “I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to be a rocket scientist.” Check and mate!
(via Best Week Ever)
Ohmigod is she pointing at me?!
This is kind of old news, but if you haven’t heard about it – Hey! Hot off the press!
I heard the screeching mess that is Beyonce – er, I mean Sasha Fierce, grrrr – on the radio today, and it trudged up my Capra-esque rage on behalf of the little man. The screeching mess in question: “If I Were a Boy.” The little man in question: cutie BC Jean (pic from Crazed Hits).
SIDENOTE: You can hear her (original, better) version of the song on that site, or on her site which has a pretty cool piano interface (hee hee, interface… I don’t know what that’s means).
The source of my fury stems from a conspiracy that goes like this: producer Toby Gad co-wrote the song with BC, then he went behind BC’s back and sold it to Beyonce (I originally wrote Bitchonce, but you could see the flop it would have been… perhaps Bitchyonce? Buttyonce?) And since no one involved has mentioned anything further in the press, I assume BC was either fiscally compensated or fiscally threatened (see how I did that?) by tubby’s hubby, H.O.V.A.
The thing that I think makes me maddest is it doesn’t work! (You seriously have to listen to both versions to understand my upset) Beyonce is not a twenty-something MySpace girl! Some might say the lyrics apply to women from all walks of life. Others might say I just hate Beyonce. Mostly everybody would be right… mostly.
Now with more granite!
Okay… I feel like I’m at full steam again. It’s not like I haven’t drank ten pounds of beer before, but at age 33, I might as well be drinking Quikrete. Actually, I don’t even think it’s so much of an age thing, or an amount of food eaten thing. It comes down to a timetable.
In Chicago – 12 lbs. beer / 8 hrs = ah, who cares… I was going to make a big math post about drinking and yada yada… Since it’s already boring me, I’ll shift gears and chat about dead people jewelry.
Did you know you can turn the ashes of a loved one (already deceased preferable) into a diamond? How crazy is that? I mean, I guess it make more sense than keeping an urn on the fireplace mantle, but still.
It may seem insensitive (probably because it is), but I wonder what other kinds of memorabilia could fashioned out of cremated remains:
Maybe a Japanese Zen Garden. How about a fingerprinting kit (human carbon has to be a lot safer than asbestos). Then there’s always an idea like Litter Critters…
I’m nursing a bit of a ‘gover right now (y’know… shorthand for hangover), so I’m going to roll these out as best as I can.
First order up – Chris Elliott has a daughter, Abby. Now it’s not weird that this guy has daughter:
And it’s not weird that I’m very attracted to her (her impersonation of Kirsten Dunst):
What is weird is there is a family resemblance… Maybe that explains why I’ve been dreaming about Chris Elliott for all these years…
Anywhopper, the point of this post is that Abby is joining the cast of Saturday Night Live, as well as Michaela Watkins. If any of Chris Elliott’s knack for oddball comedy has rubbed off on her (wait, that sounds gross), then SNL will be that much better for having her (and much easier on the eyes… goodbye crush on Kristen Wiig!)
The only good thing to come out of five “Scary Movies”:
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