Knowing my cousin, Steve, and his friends, they maaay have been drunk when they made this commercial for one of his classes. But then again, his classmates might not be his friends, and therefore they weren’t drunk. Either way, I think they did a smashing job. (Ha! It’s about recycling glass!)
They’re in a contest against other students to get the most hits on YouTube. This is me trying to help out. That makes me a winner!
Does not Spight the Lions...
Forget about Daunte Culpepper (for now anyway). He’s got to get used to the Lions’ shitty defense and shitty offense before he can manage anything with this team.
I want to put a shout out for the one guy at Ford Field that has it the hardest (and I’m not talking about kicker Jason Hanson) – Theo Spight.
He’s the guy on the field that has to get excited, even when the Lions are down 38-7 against the Jacksonville Jaguars, and they just scored against second stringers.
The song has a long history dating back to the 1930’s, which is about the last time they were any good.
Footage from Ford Field:
Live footage rockin’ out with band (at 2:40 mark):
Lyrics to Gridiron Heroes.
I have not seen “Madagascar.” I will not see “Madagascar: Escape 2 the Same Continent That Madagascar is Part Of.” I also have not and will not see “The Love Guru.”
Notice any similarties between these two clips other than the fact I want to put my head in a vice and hook one of those NASCAR bolt removers to its crank?
First, turn off the sound to this video. It’s completely irrelevant to the experience (and that’s how I originally saw it). Now pretend you’re bombed:
I was at one of my local hangouts, pounding back a few ol’ El Millerlitos, when this damn CNBC show caught my eye on the table’s flat screen. It wasn’t this particular segment, but what I bore witness to was a brain derailment. She was pretty enough on her own (she being Carmen Wong-Ulrich, a.k.a. The Great American Mixing Pot), but what happens at the 1:10 mark persisted for what seemed like ten minutes. At the time of the inebriation, I sat in stunned disbelief and nausea because I couldn’t tell if the camera was moving or the background. And what’s with the insane amount of jarring cuts!
Might be fun to watch high, though…
Yay! 1000 (and 1) views! Thanks so far (even if it’s accidental)!
Aprapos of nothing, here’s a video of Barney the White House Dog (well, one of them), biting some douchebag reporter’s hand.
I don’t know what it is about this song that simultaneously makes me want to run around and scoop peoples’ eyes out with sporks and stick ’em on kabobs, and also to hop around on alternating feet shaking my fists like maracas, acting like I’m Jim Carrey and Robin Williams’ love child.
Maybe their love child would want to scoop peoples’ eyes out with sporks…
This is NSFW, but funny nonetheless.
As powerful as expected, President Elect Barack Obama gave his victory speech in Chicago’s Grant Park last night. My sister, Becky, was there to witness it as it happened.
I was just there over the weekend, as I mentioned in another post, to see the Lions get beat by the Bears, barely. (I was wearing my #20 Seanders jersey, and you better believe I was the nicest guy in Soldier Field ever, but I digress.) I was kind of waiting for the inevitable to happen before I revealed this, but… I found a copy of Obama’s first draft of the speech.
It turned up in a trash bin outside of a Potbelly near Michigan Avenue. What was I doing looking in the trash, you might wonder, and rather than let your mind wander, I’ll share this… my sister threw out half of her cookie I totally would have eaten!
Some highlights from the speech, followed by excerpts of the alleged first draft:
He opened the speech with talk of the American dream, and about the people that waited in record lines to vote.
It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.
He originally planned to finish that statement with this: “…of states of confusion and states of clarity.”
After more positivity, he spoke about his opponent:
Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he’s fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.
I thought this part would have been nice had he kept it: “And wasn’t he great on Saturday Night Live? The part about the Joe action figures, and the pork knives… heck, the whole thing was pretty hilarious.”
I congratulate him; I congratulate Gov. Palin for all that they’ve achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.
“Oh, and thanks, again Senator for choosing the Governor as your running mate. Really, really thanks.”
He goes on to thank Vice President Elect Joe Biden, his wife, his children, his grandmother that passed away the day before the election, and the rest of his family. Then he brought up his friends.
And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best — the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America. To my chief strategist David Axelrod who’s been a partner with me every step of the way.
“And Bill… you know who you are, and where you are. Whether you’re above ground, or underground.”
But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.
“And to you, and you, and you… (point at random people for about ten minutes).”
The remainder pretty much remained the same, except for the very ending.
This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.
Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.
“And thanks for taking a chance on me.” Then he planned to close with one of these songs:
Or Flo Rida’s hit:
(Full actual transcript from CNN here. Full actual video of speech here.)
To follow up my Brett Ratner rant on this Election Night, I thought I might present something that, um, could very well be perceived as un-PC (and I don’t mean Mac, Justin Long!)
Although the dialogue track is lifted from “Rush Hour,” to find it edited into “Return of the Jedi” – it makes it actually pretty funny.
The genius that is Brett Ratner – I’m not even smart enough to find the words. His originality is unmatched; his levels of depth unfathomable. (Ha! A pun!) He is the answer to our unanswerable prayers.
Oh, yeah… Did I forget to mention today is Opposite Day? (Except when it comes to voting… It’s so Opposite Day that it’s NOT Opposite Day… whoa, deep…)
Now grant it, Heidi Klum is one helluva new addition to America’s citizenship ranks, but Brettcrack was paid beaucoup bucks to brand Guitar Hero, as if the popular game needed help. (FYI: he came up with the name “World Tour” – he’s like a the fucking Stephen Hawking of pop culture!)
This is technically the fourth video that’s exactly the same… much like his “Rush Hour” movies. Click here for the athletes version and here for the American Idols commercials.
God, he infuriates me. But perhaps he’s worth what he’s paid… look at all the attention I’m giving him.
BONUS: Now with a fifth commercial (Director’s Cut)! It must have been difficult to get a German underwear model to dance in next to nothing… I don’t know how Brettcrack does it.
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 