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Happy Find… Damn You, Auto Correct, I’ve Found Something Better!

Posted on May 16, 2011 by sgottahurt

I was planning on writing about Damn You, Auto Correct! but everyone has probably already seen the site. If you haven’t, you can click on the link.

Instead, my true Happy Find is a Norm Macdonald find – his nephew*, Kyle.

A sample of his interviewing skills, as viewed on Sports Show:

But even better than that, though, is his Good Neighbor Stuff:

I don’t know what it is above using first initials of last names that makes me laugh so hard… It’s probably that I wish we still did that as adults.

Musical Musings… This Song Is Quite Dreadful So I Thought I’d Share

Posted on May 14, 2011 by sgottahurt

Far be it for me to claim that I’m above listening to the Love Song station on Sirius XM, so here’s me claiming I’m well below.

Today, I heard this tune from 1968 by Bobby Goldsboro (?) called Honey, and in many ways, it’s simply terrible.

First, I’ve always found that songs about… well, let me make you listen to it first:

How misogynistic can this song be? He laughs at her crying, he laughs at her dreaming, he laughs at her almost hurting her herself… he even calls her “kinda dumb.” And as for the twist ending? She’s dead?! Like I was about to say before the video, I never understood the trend of dead teenager songs in the 60’s, but this one has the special distinction of once being called the worst song of all time.

I probably wouldn’t go that far. These two current songs are pretty bad, too.

InASense, Lost… Gutter, Meet My Mind For Some Ice Cream

Posted on May 13, 2011 by sgottahurt

Ice cream treats and traffic jams and cute girls shouldn’t automatically make me think of dirty things, but I’m afraid my poor subconscious is beyond tainted. It’s so tainted I can barely type the word tainted and not be derailed by horrible mental images. Dear sweet Rachel Bilson, this is not the first time your visage has been intertwined with potentially distasteful acts on this site, but I do hope it is the last… unless it’s actually about you being intertwined with potentially distasteful acts.

(SIDENOTE: If that commercial seemed foreign to you – foreign as in from over there – it’s probably because it likely is.)

Hibbidy-Wah?! I Might Want To Help Her Start Making Grandbabies

Posted on May 11, 2011 by sgottahurt

I’ve looked high and I’ve looked low, and lo and behold, there she was on the TripleDoubleU…

(SIDENOTE: I really want to get that mask…)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Day-O-Gimme-A-Break

Posted on May 10, 2011 by sgottahurt

This is a true Coinkydonk or Coinkydonk because it is a coincidence… or not.

Both Lil Wayne and Jason Derulo have recently released new singles that sample the same song! Sure, it’s different parts of the delightful ditty, Harry Belafonte’s Day-O, also known as The Banana Boat Song from Beetlejuice, but still.

Lil Wayne’s 6 Foot 7 Foot

Jason Derulo’s Don’t Wanna Go Home

Derulo’s song also heavily samples a song by Robin S. called Show Me Love:

Which incidentally happens to share the same name, Show Me Love, as a song by a Swedish pop star named… Robyn:

In closing, doesn’t Lil Wayne bear an uncanny resemblance to Howard Stern semi-regular, Beetlejuice?

"Weezy and the Beet"

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… Sexy Beer Ads

Posted on May 7, 2011 by sgottahurt

Sexism in beer advertising just ain’t what it used to be.

Remember when beer ads had scantily clad women in barely there bikinis, rubbing icy cold bottles of the devil’s brew up and down their glistening– wait, there never were commercials like this?!

Take a look at the latest offering from Miller Lite and tell me if it’s sexy or not:

Well okay sure, the ladies are hot. And there’s nothing wrong with beautiful girls in full-body blue bathing suits tackling a man in a convenience shop. But I can’t help but wonder what these kind of commercials would be like if the censors weren’t watching. I’m not talking XXX territory either, just a racier ad.

After all, isn’t this an ad campaign aimed at guys? Guys that the MillerCoors Brewing Company want to drink their light beer? Or is that what this boils down to. Perhaps a manlier beer deserves a manlier campaign:

I’d rather stay thirsty my friends, than gather Taste Points…

…even though I prefer to drink Miller Lite over Dos Equis.
But that’s mostly because I’m ~~cheap~~ frugal!

A Handful Of… Seriously Bad Ideas

Posted on May 6, 2011 by sgottahurt

I’ve lived my life in a bubble, and I’ve enjoyed it for the most part. The fun part about being in a bubble is you can still see outside, except your outlook is swirled and soapy. Sometimes that bubble pops though, and I use the remaining suds to wash my eyes out. These are some vision scrubbers.

We’ll start out small, with a product I never knew existed (as it should have remained).

ITEM ONE: A product called NYDJ for short… and Not Your Daughter’s Jeans for long…

It reminds me of this classic, butt in real-life (moved it to after the jump because of auto-starting).

ITEM TWO: Frisbee Golf or Disc Golf is real…

I’ve heard of the game, and I know people who have played it, but I always thought it was something impromptu… like LARPing. But then I saw one of these in a park near work:

Oh. It's real. Real serious.

ITEM THREE: Kiss Transmission Device or specifically, Virtual French Kissing Machine…

In effect, this:

ITEM FOUR: “Maggie the Maggot” from Galaxy of Terror

This is definitely the worst of the bunch, and since it’s not safe for ~~work~~ life, I’ll let you follow-up on it here.

(SIDENOTE: To cleanse the mental palate, watch this dog being a dog with a bad idea.)

Drunken Recollection… Oh, The Things We Believe When We’re Sober

Posted on May 4, 2011 by sgottahurt

On three occasions from three different friends I was asked about the validity of each of these videos. I think on some level, in each situation, my friends knew these weren’t real or true. But on another, perhaps spiritual, level, they wanted these to be real or true. Why? Well, I get the second one, but the others? No thanks.

Alien Captured in Brazil

My friend Jess brought this video up, knowing full well how I feel about aliens, and by the time I finally mustered the sauce to catch up on it (see what I did there?), fear did not overcome me. Not even a little. That translates to: FAKE.

Petite Lap Giraffes

This one was a surprise to hear. My friend that shall go unnamed – not for protection, but for annoyance purposes – thought petite lap giraffes were real. They were in Comcast commercials. Not Animal Planet. Unless it was a Comcast commercial on Animal Planet.

Doomsday Scenario – Brown Dwarf Star Edition

Don’t watch the video unless you want to be tortured prior to our inevitable demise. My friend Jason likes bringing this one up, plus all the updates and refutations he’s found. He’s new to the TripleDoubleU, so I forgive him. This gist is this:

By September of this year, we’re all gonna die.

The gist of my response to that is this:

Keep on drinking!

Happy Find… Talking Animals

Posted on May 3, 2011 by sgottahurt

You’ve probably seen this already, but I still think it’s well-done… like a steak, covered in bacon, and cheese sauce… that I gave to the neighbor’s dog!