There’s some movement in the Detroit area called 2WordStory. Here’s the homepage from their website:
Seriously? Seriously.
Basically, it’s a church thing. The one-word question is before you find The Big Guy or Gal or Aliens Upstairs, and the second word is the answer after you find Him or Her or Them.
I’d prefer to use it in other ways, such as in, oh let’s just say, blog commentary:
It seems like a lot of Drunken Recollections are about mix-ups, so why not create a term for it:
ALCONFUSION
This post is about a pair of moments of alconfusion… one on my behalf, one on behalf of another.
While in Kentucky for the derby, I was at the bar and somebody was talking about Rachel Nichols and her possible hook-ups with most of the NFL or NBA or whatever… that’s neither here nor there. They were talking about the sportscaster from ESPN:
Rachel Nichols, daughter of director Mike Nichols and her mother
I thought they were talking about this Rachel Nichols:
Except she's not normally green...
Hopefully this will help:
Yo Joe, indeed.
So my alconfusion was me thinking they were speaking ill of actress Rachel Nichols when they weren’t. They were just speaking ill of the sportscaster I don’t find attractive know.
I was going to write about Lupe Fiasco’s The Show Goes On a while back because it liberally borrows from Modest Mouse’s Float On, but the song’s creators acknowledged that at the time of release, so I didn’t. But I get to write about it today.
While this tune played at the bar, a friend asked who performed this Float On rip-off. I answered correctly, but what she thought I said cracked me up.
I replied:
Lupe Fiasco
She heard:
Beefy Asshole
I was planning on writing about Damn You, Auto Correct! but everyone has probably already seen the site. If you haven’t, you can click on the link.
Instead, my true Happy Find is a Norm Macdonald find – his nephew*, Kyle.
A sample of his interviewing skills, as viewed on Sports Show:
But even better than that, though, is his Good Neighbor Stuff:
I don’t know what it is above using first initials of last names that makes me laugh so hard… It’s probably that I wish we still did that as adults.
*?
Ice cream treats and traffic jams and cute girls shouldn’t automatically make me think of dirty things, but I’m afraid my poor subconscious is beyond tainted. It’s so tainted I can barely type the word tainted and not be derailed by horrible mental images. Dear sweet Rachel Bilson, this is not the first time your visage has been intertwined with potentially distasteful acts on this site, but I do hope it is the last… unless it’s actually about you being intertwined with potentially distasteful acts.
(SIDENOTE: If that commercial seemed foreign to you – foreign as in from over there – it’s probably because it likely is.)
This is only my third In Defense Of post, so I haven’t fully developed my method of argument. But wait. I don’t really have a method for anything on this site. Moving on…
This time I want to come to Ashton Kutcher’s defense. Is he in need of arguments for him? Are you really asking that?
Dude, you're not helping.
REASONS WHY PEOPLE HATE DON’T LIKE HIM
REASONS WHY I’M DEFENDING HIM
Or they like to smile when they fight. Either way.
So in closing, that’s five good reasons to defend him, over three reasons to hate on him. As one of the original Two Men once said over and over and over again, “Winning!”
Sexism in beer advertising just ain’t what it used to be.
Remember when beer ads had scantily clad women in barely there bikinis, rubbing icy cold bottles of the devil’s brew up and down their glistening– wait, there never were commercials like this?!
Take a look at the latest offering from Miller Lite and tell me if it’s sexy or not:
Well okay sure, the ladies are hot. And there’s nothing wrong with beautiful girls in full-body blue bathing suits tackling a man in a convenience shop. But I can’t help but wonder what these kind of commercials would be like if the censors weren’t watching. I’m not talking XXX territory either, just a racier ad.
After all, isn’t this an ad campaign aimed at guys? Guys that the MillerCoors Brewing Company want to drink their light beer? Or is that what this boils down to. Perhaps a manlier beer deserves a manlier campaign:
I’d rather stay thirsty my friends, than gather Taste Points…
…even though I prefer to drink Miller Lite over Dos Equis.
But that’s mostly because I’m cheap frugal!
I’ve lived my life in a bubble, and I’ve enjoyed it for the most part. The fun part about being in a bubble is you can still see outside, except your outlook is swirled and soapy. Sometimes that bubble pops though, and I use the remaining suds to wash my eyes out. These are some vision scrubbers.
We’ll start out small, with a product I never knew existed (as it should have remained).
It reminds me of this classic, butt in real-life (moved it to after the jump because of auto-starting).
I’ve heard of the game, and I know people who have played it, but I always thought it was something impromptu… like LARPing. But then I saw one of these in a park near work:
Oh. It's real. Real serious.
In effect, this:
This is definitely the worst of the bunch, and since it’s not safe for work life, I’ll let you follow-up on it here.
(SIDENOTE: To cleanse the mental palate, watch this dog being a dog with a bad idea.)
On three occasions from three different friends I was asked about the validity of each of these videos. I think on some level, in each situation, my friends knew these weren’t real or true. But on another, perhaps spiritual, level, they wanted these to be real or true. Why? Well, I get the second one, but the others? No thanks.
My friend Jess brought this video up, knowing full well how I feel about aliens, and by the time I finally mustered the sauce to catch up on it (see what I did there?), fear did not overcome me. Not even a little. That translates to: FAKE.
Don’t watch the video unless you want to be tortured prior to our inevitable demise. My friend Jason likes bringing this one up, plus all the updates and refutations he’s found. He’s new to the TripleDoubleU, so I forgive him. This gist is this:
By September of this year, we’re all gonna die.
The gist of my response to that is this:
Keep on drinking!
If you don’t know who Mark Curry is, you’re like everybody else in the world prior to the premiere of his ABC show, Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper. As a refresher:
That image has some unsavory undertones...
AnyTGIF, he hasn’t done anything in a long time, but I dreamed of his comeback:
Show slogan: "He's no longer the teacher - he's the mayor!"
But the sad reality I found out was this (via Wikipedia):
On April 17, 2006, an aerosol can that had fallen behind Curry’s water heater exploded and Curry, who was doing laundry at the time, was burned on over 20% of his body, including his arm, back and side. He spent many months recooperating at his home… [Emphasis mine, of course – Ed.]
Anyone else up for the idea of Cooper Town? Anything’s better than Cougar Town…
So yeah, this one I could have made into a So, Duh! Pop Quiz, but I think I’m pretty much done with those for now (hence the brand spankin’ newish In Defense Of category). Instead, I’m presenting two works of pop culture nerdity (and one of sheer commercialism) that are neat on their own, or in this Awesome Battle.
Don’t worry – I’ll still put the characters and companies after the jump.
Here are two alphabet soups cooked up by Fabian Gonzalez:
I don’t know who made this one:
(Answers – er, I mean the who’s who is after the jump) Read More
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 
