What A Bunch Of Duck-ing Ice Holes!*

So this happened at the University of Oregon

For the record, it doesn’t look fun or funny.  But if someone was playing Winter Wonderland on a boombox… (daydreams… considers mixing the Youtube video)… no, still not funny.

 

*The school’s team is the Ducks, in case you were pundering.

 

A Handful Of… Things I Want For Christmas

Just in time for Christmas Eve, I’ve assembled a list of containing A Handful Of items I may actually want, even though I told all my loved ones not to buy me anything because I didn’t buy them anything.  Will they listen this year?  Hopefully.  But they haven’t yet, and I feel like a real dick when they do.  Unless that’s what they wanted.  Then they did get a gift from me after all!

So you can keep warm while looking cool.

So you can keep warm while looking cool.

I missed it when this Marc Ecko product had its original run, but aren’t we living in the age of the TripleDoubleU?!  Anything’s possible!  But probably not buy by tomorrow…

This game looks just like you’re playing the TV show.  Do you know how many times I’ve wished Friends would have done that?  Oh, and I should mention this – I would like the 360 pre-order version so I can get Mysterion.  So what if this doesn’t come out until next year.  I can wait.

I will not name him Tony.

I will not name him Tony.

I was just telling my brother the other day that I have three loves in this world:

  1. Robots
  2. Taco Bell
  3. Duets

The other two are kind of off-point, but this little robot would be a nice beginning for my impending robot-infested dominion.

Final words before my inevitable incarceration: "See you all later... you know, because I was secretly video taping you."

Final words before my inevitable incarceration: “See you all later… you know, because I was secretly video taping you.”

My sister actually brought these to my attention, and they haven’t left my consciousness since.  I brought up the possibility of getting these to a few friends, and one deftly responded: “Creepersville.”  My initial interest was genuine – wear this to bars to capture conversation flows or to a soccer game to get a first-person perspective of my awfulness.  But it’s there – right on the fringe of Creepersville no matter my intent.  The only other inevitable problem is that I have enough difficulty living in the moment as it is.  With these, I’ll be living in perpetual time-delay.

The Silver Lining… At Least I Can Still Share “All Star Bowling Trick Shots” With You

This was going to be Worth 1002 Words, but I forgot I had one waiting.  You’ll see that tomorrow.  Instead, I’m upset I can’t embed videos unless they’re of a certain kind on WordPress anymore.  But like the title of the post says…

Air Robinson

Air Robinson

(SIDENOTE: You see, because that’s Craig Robinson of Hot Tub Time Machine and The Office, and he’s dun— oh, never mind. Watch the video by clicking here.  There are more stars than you can shake a stick at.  What’s that, you say?  You can shake a stick at seventeen stars?  Well then there’s as many stars as you specifically can shake a stick at.)

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk… Where Have I Seen Or Heard That Before?

It’s been a while again, folks, and I’d like to present to you a few more occurrences of homages liberal borrowings.  If you are unfamiliar with my concept of liberal borrowing, click liberal borrowing (not this one, the previous one).

The first few I’m going to breeze through because they’re already older songs, and other people have thought the same or the artists acknowledge the similarity.

  • SOME NIGHTS BY fun. (do I really have to write it that way?) CECELIA BY SIMON & GARFUNKEL

My friend swore up and down about this one, and being the defender of originality that I claim to be, I just didn’t really hear it… until this video:

He also thinks fun.’s We Are Young shares common ground with The Beatles’ Hey Jude.  I told him to find me a sample; he’s still looking.

  • I WON’T GIVE UP BY JASON MRAZ = DELICATE BY DAMIEN RICE

This one even Mr. A-to-the-Z can’t argue with… it’s on Wikipedia.

When I first heard I Won’t Give Up, I wondered why I felt like I knew its melody but not the words (by the way, does Jason Mraz realize he looks like that now?):

  • WASHINGTON NATIONAL’S LOGO = WALGREEN’S LOGO

I’m late to this, but I only noticed because my Detroit Tigers made it as far as they did.  Otherwise, I don’t watch National League games at all.  But answer me this – notice anything?  ‘Cuz Walgreen’s did.

W-w-w-w-what?!

(SIDENOTE: This last one is my favorite.)

Does M83’s Reunion

…sound at all like the theme song to Supernanny?

Hibbidy-Wah?! Handball Is A Thing?

Apparently, the facility at which I play indoor soccer is going to start offering handball.  Also apparently, I’m joining a handball team.

What is handball, you ask?

It’s like whirlyball without bumper cars and jai alai scoops.

No, it’s more like lacrosse without sticks (whatever they’re called) and helmets.

No, it’s definitely basketball without any rules and you shoot at a tall hockey net instead of a basket.  Yeah, that’s exactly it.

InASense, Lost… My Old Dreams

Growing up, I wanted to be Luke Skywalker (not Han Solo), Indiana Jones, and Steven Spielberg.  How much has changed since then?

Not since I watched all the James Bond films in my early-30’s and reconsidered my lifelong attachment to Star Wars, have I wished for a new childhood dream:

I WISH I WANTED TO BE AN OLYMPIAN.

Olympic Village sex parties?  Why would anyone want to re-evaluate their life and wish to be a part of that?

In My Brain While Sleeping… How To Break The Tigers Slump

You know how when the team you thought was supposed to be doing fantastic is only doing so-so, it affects your psyche?  Well, it’s really doing a number on my subconscious.

My Detroit Tigers are in the midst of getting out of a slump, but somehow, my brain while sleeping didn’t quite have the answer.

Apparently, in my dream state, to break any curse the team must be reeling from can only be broken by making ace pitcher Justin Verlander

“I don’t like where this is going…”

…out of these:

Well, not just one LEGO guy. Out of many LEGOS.

Aside from having the idea of crafting a LEGO version of #35, I also recall realizing that LEGO has never released any playsets based (pun intended) on baseball.  They’ve done other sports before:

Only one of these sports is “real.”

Why not America’s pastime?  At least other people have taken up the mantle:

Fuzzy pic for so much work.

Show-off.

Bigger show-off.

Is that a famous park? Yes.

So we’re left with two questions:

  1. Why doesn’t LEGO have any MLB sets?
  2. Why did I dream any of this?

Musical Musings… Strange Songs About Other Singers

I don’t know what made me think of this list.  And I promise you, it will not be anywhere near as insightful as this article.

In fact, I won’t even cover one of those on that list… which shortens my considerably (really, all I would have included were John Lennon/Paul McCartney tracks, and maybe a Foo Fighters tune).

So without further adieu, here are some Strange Songs About Other Singers.

  • SONG: For Squirrel’s Mighty K.C.
  • ABOUT: Kurt Cobain
  • WHY IT’S STRANGE: It’s not a particularly good song, for one.  For two, this group faced a tragedy not long after this song was released – an automobile accident claimed the lives of two band members.
  • SONG: The Commodores’ Nightshift
  • ABOUT: Jackie Wilson & Marvin Gaye
  • WHY IT’S STRANGE: It’s really not strange.  But it’s strange amidst this list.
  • SONG: ABC’S When Smokey Sings
  • ABOUT: Smokey Robinson
  • WHY IT’S STRANGE: It’s a weird new wave song about an artist who was still on the charts!  (Smokey had a concurrent hit with One Heartbeat.)

In My Brain While Sleeping… A New Novelty Scale

It’s time again for that age-old question:

Could this novelty scale I dreamed about ever exist, and if it did, would it sell?

In a nutshell, the novelty scale is like a combination of these two items:

Ooh... colors.

Essentially, it would work like this:

  1. There would be a pool table with a mathematically defined set of numbered balls on the table.
  2. You’d step on a scale at the end of the table.
  3. The balls would scramble to the nearest pockets (courtesy of magnets?), leaving behind the balls that added up to your weight.  Kind of like how the above thermometer works (courtesy of magnets?).

There are plenty of weird people out there with money to burn.  So… any takers?