InASense Lost

InASense, Lost… Color.com Is The Next Big Thing? Really?

Posted on by sgottahurt

To begin, anyone remember Google Wave?  It was the giant’s attempt to get a foothold on the social networking scene, and it was one huge misstep*.

Welcome to the latest entry in the monkey house… Color.com:

Their website. Dramatically lacking an array of color.

The concept is simple in the evolution of the scene.

  1. MySpace rips off Friendster.
  2. Facebook perfects MySpace.
  3. Twitter pares down Facebook.
  4. Color pares down Twitter and Facebook.

It’s just pictures.  Flickr for the instant mobile set.  (Should have been called Blinkr.)

Here’s the founder of Color discussing it, I guess (I didn’t even watch it):

So the question that remains – am I going to install the app on my iPhone?  Probably.  Seeing as how I dragged my feet on theTwitter thing years ago, and I eventually signed up.  Top that with the fact that I recently (finally) setup a Facebook account (accidentally if you believe me), there’s no stopping me now.

…I’ll let you know how it is as soon as WordPress figures out a way for me to promote this blog on it.

*Ha!

InASense, Lost… Please Spare The Lions More Bad Luck

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve only recently begun to be a Detroit Lions fan.  It wasn’t that I’m of the fair-weathered ilk.  It was just that I didn’t follow football until I started getting season tickets five or so years ago.  Now I’m officially hooked… and on the team that holds the most worst records!

But that’s neither here nor there.  What this is about is preventing the Madden Curse from effecting our breakout star – Ndamukong Suh.  If you’re not familiar with the curse (or curses in general), here’s the gist of it:

Players that appear on the cover of any Madden game have bad luck.

Where you play a part, faithful readers, is in the online vote.  A bracket hosted by ESPN can be accessed by clicking here.  Vote for Green Bay’s Super Bowl-winning quarterback, Aaron Rodgers… not our defensive Wunderkind, Suh.  Don’t make him come to your house…

Pick Aaron Rogers! Or your nose...

InASense, Lost… A Cheese And Crappers Double Whammy

Posted on by sgottahurt

I rarely watch commercials, but these are two recent ones I’ve caught while watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network who know’s what.  One reminded me of an old childhood wish, and the other made me wish I was never born.  I’ll let you figure out which wish is which.

InASense, Lost… Unaware Of This “Business”

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s another edition of InASense, Lost, and there’s still room to surprise me.

This time, it’s a children’s book entitled: The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business.

This is the cover:

Yes. That is shit on his head.

Basically, it’s about a mole that gets his head pooped upon, and the entire book he tries to figure out who did it.  SPOILER ALERT: It was the dog.  So the mole poops on the dog’s head as revenge.

The analysis from one Amazon reviewer:

So, what does this teach my children?

1. It’s ok to poop on others.
2. Revenge is better than forgiveness.
3. Different types of animal poop. (Is this really necessary?)
4. Poop is safe to touch.

Ultimately, poop is funny.  And let’s be honest… the author is German (Werner Holzwarth), and we all know they’re into Scheiße.  What?  It’s all over the TripleDoubleU so it must be true!

(SIDENOTE: If you want a good and decent children’s novel, I’d recommend A Sick Day for Amos McGee.  In fact, I’d recommend anything but The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business…)

No animal poop in this one. Just someone who feels like it.

InASense, Lost… I Didn’t Even Know They Were Broken Up

Posted on by sgottahurt

Sometimes ignorance is bliss (or is it always?), and this case of ignorance is a mixed bag.

On one hand, it’s good that I didn’t know this.  On the other hand, how did I not know this?  If I’m supposed to be on top of pop culture, how did Barbie and Ken’s breakup fly under my pink radar?

Well apparently, toy maker Mattel is letting the fans decide if they should get back together:

Just in time for Valentine's Day!

Since they’ve broken up in 2004, these are a few of the people the iconic doll has been documented as dating:

  • Blaine

*Not siblings

Alliteration is a popular device in poetry; it’s rarely regarded as all right in relationships.  Blaine was introduced to the Barbie line of toys almost immediately after she and Ken broke up.  Talk about moving fast.  The Australian surfer was instantly popular, and Ken wasn’t even manufactured dropped off the grid for two years.  A lot of people are crediting Barbie and Ken’s appearance in Toy Story 3 as the reason for the reignited romance… needless to say, Blaine has since fired his agent.

  • He-Man

Master of the Universe... not his domain

After a bit of a blow-up with Blaine, Barbie was caught going on a few dates with the alter-ego of Prince Adam.  The reason she cited for the short courtship:

Let’s just say every time he passed a mirror, he couldn’t help but touch his… Orko.  He was a chronic Master of His Universe.

  • Peter Venkman

 

Don't cross his stream.

 

Barbie was admittedly starstruck when she met the world-famous Ghostbuster.  They only went on one date though, because he seemed haunted by his former lover, Dana Barrett.  As all the celebrity tabloids perpetually pointed out, Dana dumped poor Peter for this guy:

 

Peter's been blue ever since...

 

  • Willrow Hood

 

Busy running from danger, with his trusty ice cream maker

 

Barbie met Willrow Hood while vacationing at Bespin City.  She really thought it could go somewhere, but nothing would ever come between him and his ice cream maker.  After this trip, she was offered her role in Toy Story 3, so the rest, as they say, happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

(SIDENOTE: BTW, they’re back together.)

InASense, Lost… Good Ol’ Days Of Cross-Dressing

Posted on by sgottahurt

I don’t remember this commercial, so I guess that means I must have repressed it:

The only time any such imagery should be used would be in order to sell this:

Are there nuts in that tossed salad?

InASense, Lost… Kiss My Zodiac

Posted on by sgottahurt

 

How fucking stupid is this sign?

 

The more I think about this, the more angry I get.  It’s this exact kind of crap that makes people skeptics about astrology in the first place.

Though I loathe to admit it – I’m kind of into the zodiac.  I’ve read enough things about Capricorns (what I am) to see the merit of it all.

Do I find astrology to be absolute? Absolutely not.

But are there some truths in there? I’d at least say there are patterns.

My belief in the entire zodiac affair is comparable to the whole nature vs. nurture debate, in the sense that the your birth sign has designs about your life, but not necessarily much influence.

I view it as the explanation to why you click with some people instantly, and reject others just as easily.  It’s also the reason why people in my life that share the same birth signs have the same types of friendships with me.

But this Ophiucus (“o-few-cus”) garbage has me butting my head against the wall (like a Goat would, but not necessarily like a Cap).  It’s New Age-y mumbo-jumbo.  It seems like cockamamie bullcrap manifested out of thin air… like horoscopes.

It’s like everything I’ve ever defended with…

It’s not made up!  They know what they’re doing!

…is happening all over again…

 

"It's not made up! They know what they're doing!"

 

InASense, Lost… The Limitlessness Of Laziness

Posted on by sgottahurt

On one hand, this might not be a bad idea.

On no hands, it’s like a Bluetooth (I guess).

It's a hamburger-monica!

The infamous they always say, “Find a need and fill it.”  But unless this little handy handless food device isn’t pre-sold like this, the amount of time it saves can’t be much.  Besides, can you imagine trying to type while a cheeseburger is staring you right in the face?  I know I’m finishing it before I get any work done.

For instance, if I had this contraption, I wouldn’t have even found it on this site to write this post.  It’d be finished before I sat down to type.  It’d be finished on the car ride home (heaven knows I’m not making it).  It might not make it out of the drive-thru.  So if I had to ready the hands-free sandwich holder, I would have eaten the sandwich way before it made it the wire frame.

I hope for the inventor’s sake, it’s not real.

That is, unless fatteries are included.

InASense, Lost… What Disturbs Me More?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I was all prepared to do a whole diatribe about this racist Duncan Hines cupcakes ad, but then I realized that site already did it justice (although not much funny).

Also… I found that this disturbed me more:

After watching, I’m sure a lot of people might be inclined to say:

Of course it’s German!

But then I realized these toys came from America and suddenly, clay-pooping dachshunds don’t seem so bad.

As for Duncan Hines – they still have mud on their face.  (There was probably a better way to say that.)

InASense, Lost… (Racist) Kids These Days

Posted on by sgottahurt

If you’ve ever seen the film version of the beloved comic strip Marmaduke, I’m sorry then you’re well aware of all the obvious anti-white sentiment sprinkled throughout.

Oh, you didn’t notice it?  Then I’ll let Andrew of The Andrew Show enlighten you, emphasis on lighten, with a dash of a speech impediment:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

(In case the video doesn't work, click the Videogum link below)

(video via Videogum)

To clean your palette, howzabout some Baby Inception: