A Handful Of

(More Than) A Handful Of… My Favorite Robot Sidekicks

Posted on by sgottahurt

Oh my circuits… this list could have went on and on and on and (you get the point).

Once, while in a very altered state, I admitted to wishing that I was a robot.  I’ve since blamed it on the alteredness of my mind, but I can’t deny one thing:

I love robots.

And I always have, ever since watching this show:

No, the Flying Robot is not trying to get Johnny Sokko. Although I do remember him as being quite annoying...

Please join me and my glorious list of (More Than) A Handful Of My Favorite Robot Sidekicks after the jump… Read More

(More Than) A Handful Of… Songs Named After Famous People

Posted on by sgottahurt

I was going to make this list based solely on the discovery of Frank Zappa’s Bobby Brown (Goes Down), but alas, it is not about this guy:

This was the key to Whitney Houston's crack pipe...

Even still, I thought it would be fun anyway to collect (More Than) A Handful Of… Songs Named After Famous People.  Enjoy, or care less, which I will do in tandem with you.

  • Beastie Boys – Paul Revere
  • David Bowie – Andy Warhol
  • Duck Sauce – Barbra Streisand
  • Fenix TX – Phoebe Cates
  • Goldfinger – Wayne Gretzky
  • Gorillaz – Clint Eastwood
  • MIKA – Grace Kelly
  • Outkast – Rosa Parks
  • The Postal Service – Clark Gable
  • Scissor Sisters – Paul McCartney
  • Sufjan Stevens – John Wayne Gacy, Jr. (this one is creepy, natch…)
  • Taylor Swift – Tim McGraw
  • Weezer – Buddy Holly

(SIDENOTE: Obviously, this is not all of the songs named after famous people.  I almost put Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus, Herman’s Hermits’ I’m Henry the Eighth, I Am and Kim Carnes’ Bette Davis Eyes, but their titles contain ancillary words.)

A Handful Of… Non-Superhero Superhero Movies

Posted on by sgottahurt

For this small list, I wanted to highlight the non-canon, non-superhero superheroes of modern cinema.  And I’m not counting anything like Darkman, Blankman, Meteor Man, or My Super Ex-Girlfriend.  Some of these entries are obvious – some are not.

Look!  Up in the sk– over there!  It’s A Handful Of Non-Superhero Superhero Movies!

  • The Movie: The Matrix
  • The Non-Superhero Superhero: Neo (Thomas A. Anderson)

"There may be no spoon, but that's a lot of bullets!"

The Matrix as a stand-alone film is a story similar to the recent Green Lantern movie.  Whereas Hal Jordan was found by Abin Sur who explained he was “chosen,” Neo was found by Morpheus under the same pretenses.  Until Hal/Neo believed in himself, he wasn’t quite the hero he was destined to be.  Also, Neo’s code-vision was green.  Mjusayin’.

  • The Movie: Unbreakable
  • The Non-Superhero Superhero: The Security Guard (David Dunn)

"I know things others don't. It's like a sixth sense."

Like Thor, David Dunn was always a god… he just didn’t know his full potential.  And in a series of (destructive) moves that would make Loki proud, Mr. Glass pushed David to find the hero he could be.  Even though it’s an M. Night Shitamalan flick, I’m still awaiting the sequel.

  • The Movie: District 9
  • The Non-Superhero Superhero: Man-Prawn (Wikus van de Merwe)

"Somebody get me to the EYE-C-U! Stat!"

Swamp Thing is about a scientist, Dr. Alec Holland, who is filled with good intentions that ends up becoming one of the swamp things he’s trying to protect; Wikus van de Merwe isn’t as noble as Dr. Holland, but as he becomes one of the “prawns” he’s trying to relocate, his selfish actions end up leading to (hopeful) liberation for all.  Waiting on this sequel, too.

  • The Movie: The Dead Zone
  • The Non-Superhero Superhero: The Assassin (Johnny Smith)

"I need more cow bell."

Stephen King is probably better at writing Non-Supervillain Supervillians (Firestarter, Carrie, Cujo, Christine), but The Dead Zone is kind of the exception.  After waking from a coma, Johnny Smith develops the ability to see the future of anyone he touches.  Upon shaking the hand of a senator, he becomes determined to assassinate him because of all the ill he’ll cause the world.  In this way, he’s a lot like The Punisher – an anti-hero vigilante that’s kinda creepy.

  • The Movie: They Live
  • The Non-Superhero Superhero: Nada

"I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'd really like some bubblegum."

Batman may have had a bunch of gadgets to help him make the world a brighter place.  All Nada needs is a pair of sunglasses.  And a shotgun.  And like he says above – some bubblegum.

Comprised of living, breathing "blue genes"...

Come on… they really fit all four of those girls the same?!  It must be made of unstable molecules just like the Fantastic Four’s costumes.

A Handful Of… Items I Want – Nay – Need!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Every now and again, strange impulses overtake me, and I work hard to suppress them.  They can come out of nowhere; sometimes they’ve stewed silently for years.

Most times, they even baffle me, but it’s the baffl-ing-ness (?) that drives me further.

Oh, I realize that this opening sounds like it could be bad things, but they’re not.  Depending on how you look at them, I guess, they might be.  But that’s neither here nor at Target (if any of these were at the Ol’ Bullseye this post would be a list of my greatest shopping regrets).

Here’s A Handful Of items I want – nay – need!

Yes, it looks like a nerd toy, because it is a nerd toy.

I saw an article about Öliblocks in an old issue of Wired Magazine recently, and it’s more of a morbid curiosity than anything else.   They don’t just look like the above picture, there’s tons of different versions.  To be honest, I probably wouldn’t really buy them… but I would want to play with them.

  • Unicycle

Don't they look cool? On second thought, don't answer that.

I didn’t know I wanted a unicycle until The Colbert Report presented an expose about riders in NYC.  It’d be safe to say that the people who use unicycles as their primary source of transportation would probably not be friends of mine, so then why would I want one?  I like balancing.

  • Banjo (or Ukulele)

King Tut and the King

I play the guitar, so either of these would be a fun sound to play around with.  It’s just another one of those ideas that’s been brimming inside for a long time… and speaking of brimming…

  • Cowboy Hat

Hat = Badass

Tim Olyphant rocks as Marshal Raylan Givens on FX’s Justified and he wears a cool cowboy hat.  Am I that simple of a person that I want to look like Elmore Leonard’s smooth, quick-triggered character?  Maybe.

Comfortable performance or annoying gimmick?

I saw these at the end of season five of Showtime’s Weeds, and even though they made fun of them, I still would like to try them out.

Landon Meier makes these. I think there's something wrong with him.

I’ve mentioned that I wanted one of these before, but it bears repeating.  I really want – nay – need one of these.

(Way More Than) A Handful Of… Songs About Months

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hey! September and December are the rhymiest months! (November is too, I guess.)

There have been many songs about various months, but did you know that there is one month that never had a song about it?  Which month has the most?  Which month has the least (besides zero)?

You can guess; I’ll give you the answers after the jump.

(SIDENOTE: What’s weird is that I’ve heard of a lot of these artists, but never most of these songs.  What’s weirder still is the artists I hadn’t even heard of didn’t have videos on YouTube.  So if they didn’t have a video, they didn’t make my list.

Oh yeah.

That’s right.

I even looked up the videos for you to check out.  One-hundred-and-fucking-one videos.  You better check at least some of them out.) Read More

A Handful Of… Seriously Bad Ideas

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve lived my life in a bubble, and I’ve enjoyed it for the most part.  The fun part about being in a bubble is you can still see outside, except your outlook is swirled and soapy.  Sometimes that bubble pops though, and I use the remaining suds to wash my eyes out.  These are some vision scrubbers.

We’ll start out small, with a product I never knew existed (as it should have remained).

  • ITEM ONE: A product called NYDJ for short… and Not Your Daughter’s Jeans for long…

It reminds me of this classic, butt in real-life (moved it to after the jump because of auto-starting).

I’ve heard of the game, and I know people who have played it, but I always thought it was something impromptu… like LARPing.  But then I saw one of these in a park near work:

Oh. It's real. Real serious.

In effect, this:

  • ITEM FOUR: “Maggie the Maggot” from Galaxy of Terror

This is definitely the worst of the bunch, and since it’s not safe for work life, I’ll let you follow-up on it here.

(SIDENOTE: To cleanse the mental palate, watch this dog being a dog with a bad idea.)

Read More

A Handful Of… Drawings Of Superheroes On Bikes

Posted on by sgottahurt

I liked these as soon as I saw them, and then I realized all these are getting adapted for movies or TV.  So in order of release:

  • Thor (May 6)… on a bike!
  • Green Lantern (June 17)… on a bike!
  • Captain America: The First Avenger (July 22)… on a bike!
  • Wonder Woman (maybe this fall on TV?)… on a bike!
  • Amazing Spider-Man (July 3, 2012)… on a bike!
  • Aquaman (sadly never)… on a bike!

A Handful Of… TV Comedies I Need To Own

Posted on by sgottahurt

Some of these TV shows are already available on DVD, and some will be available soon.  No matter what, I need to own these, and if you don’t know them, I’m very disappointed in you.

Yeah.  That’s it.  I’m letting these vids do the comedy for me…

  • Party Down
  • Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule
  • Ugly Americans
  • Delocated
  • Portlandia
  • Workaholics

A Handful Of… Songs About Body Parts

Posted on by sgottahurt

Operation: Musical Musing

I thought about taking a bunch of songs that were named after body parts and make a picture composed of those parts, but I’m not sure if I will… yet.  Let’s get through A Handful Of (alternative) songs about body parts, and maybe I’ll surprise you.

  • Nine Inch Nail’s Head Like a Hole

  • Smashing Pumpkin’s Eye
  • Weezer’s Dope Nose
  • Bush’s Mouth
  • Death Cab for Cutie’s Crooked Teeth
  • Sum 41’s Fat Lip
  • Young the Giant’s My Body
  • Alice in Chains’ Them Bones
  • Nirvana’s Heart Shaped Box
  • Fuel’s Hemorrhage (In My Hands)

Okay.  I gave in and made a picture.  Enjoy it after the jump… Read More

A Handful Of… Songs About Days Other Than “Friday”

Posted on by sgottahurt

By now, everyone (or at least 21 million people at the time of this posting) have seen Rebecca Black’s Friday.  If not, it’s after the jump below.

It’s inane, mundane, insane lyrics and musical progression made me think of every other song about days of the week.  Here are those that came to mind:

  • Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting) – Sir Elton John
  • Sunday Bloody Sunday – U2
  • Manic Monday – The Bangles

(SIDENOTE: In retrospect, this is barely better than Ms. Black’s song.)

  • Ruby Tuesday – The Rolling Stones

(SIDENOTE: Yes, I am aware that it’s not about the day itself.  Or is it?)

  • Waiting for Wednesday – Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

(SIDENOTE: The alternate for this one was Digital Underground’s Humpty Dance.  Because it’s hump day, you see.)

  • Understanding in a Car Crash – Thursday

(SIDENOTE: There are no songs about Thursday, so I had to go with the band.  I think Ms. Black really missed an opportunity here.  She could have had the only song about Thursday – even though Thursday’s aren’t as fun-fun-fun – and then the last day of the week could have been left to The Cure’s Friday I’m in Love.)

Read More