This is a post that I might have written back in 2006 is I had a blog.  Man, I’d be worth thousands if I had a blog back then…

I haven’t heard this song in quite a long time, and I knew so little about it, I always thought it was by Chicago.  I also considered it a love song about a special “one-in-a-million” girl since I heard it originally back in 1983.

The song in question – The Tubes’ She’s a Beauty:

But just like how my reality was shattered in high school when I realized two things that took me way too long to figure out:

1. There’s no way gum can stick to your ribs if you swallow it!
2. When Mommy was caught kissing Santa Claus, that was Daddy dressed as Santa Claus!

I just realized this song is about strippers!  Or at least a girl in a peep show.  Two key lyrics I didn’t catch until now:

She’s right here behind the glass/
And you’re gonna like her ’cause she’s got class.

She’ll give you every penny’s worth/
But it will cost you a dollar first.

WEIRD THINGS ABOUT THE VIDEO

• There’s more than one kid in the video for a song about soliciting illicit women.
• The drums look more like boobs than eyes, if that’s what they were trying to pretend the boobs were.
• The boy trapped on the ride is Robert Arquette… who would grow up to become Alexis Arquette.