Month: January 2012

Awful Battle… First Comes Stupid, Then Comes Marriage

Posted on by sgottahurt

There’s dumb, and then there’s getting married.

I could ramble on and on (and on and on) about my feelings on marriage, but I already feel like I’ve shared enough.

So to further illustrate how fruitless of a venture getting married is I present

SUBJECT 1 – THIS MIGHT HAVE SEEMED CLEVER IN THE PLANNING STAGES, BUT IN REALITY… 

SUBJECT 2 – THIS ALSO MIGHT HAVE SEEMED CLEVER IN THE PLANNING STAGES, BUT IN REALITY… 

Vodpod videos no longer available.

See what marriage does to our brains?  The only thing worse than either of these was the wedding where people danced down the aisle to Chris Brown beat-up music.  It has over 71,000,000 views.  Fuck them, seriously.

Drunken Recollection… The Makings Of A One-Hit Wonder

Posted on by sgottahurt

I seem to get into more drunken arguments about semantics more than anything else.

Essentially, this particular debate began in regard to the Bloodhound Gang.  I mentioned that I’d be extremely content in life if I could happen to be a one-hit wonder like them.

The song I was referencing:

My friend slammed back that they had two hits because of this song:

If you go by YouTube views, The Bad Touch beats Fire Water Burn hands down (28.5+ million vs. 2.5+ million).  But I also know the song Why’s Everybody Always Pickin’ On Me? (which has 1+ million views), and that still doesn’t mean it achieved the same level of apparent one-hit wonderness…

It’s not like I haven’t wished for my own solo hit in regard to a particular single before.  I would be ecstatic to have a song stand the test of time like Rick Springfield’s Jessie’s Girl (true story) when I know he’s had other songs (Don’t Talk to Strangers and I’ve Done Everything for You), and I always considered him a one-hit wonder.

So is that the key to my interpretation of one-hit wonder?  It’s the song that the artist is primarily known for that will stand the test of time.

Now I know that there are novelty acts that are “pure” one-hit wonders.  But as for most artists, it’s not like a record company wants their product to produce only one hit… they’ll always try to release more songs off the same album, or at least one of the following album.

It looked like Sara Bareillis‘ Love Song would have been her only offering to the world until her second album had hits, so…

In conclusion to this Drunken Recollection rambling, what makes a one-hit wonder a one-hit wonder?  Take it away, Wikipedia:

In the U.S., a “pure” one-hit wonder is an artist that manages only one song on the Billboard Hot 100, regardless of the song’s peak position. However, most American music industry insiders consider a song in the top forty positions of the Billboard Hot 100 to be a hit. Thus, any performer who recorded only one song that reached the Top 40 is, technically, a one-hit wonder, regardless whether another song peaks in the “bottom 60.” However, the term is more generally applied to musicians best known for only one song.

Or as I said sort of:

It’s the biggest hit that artist is known for that will stand the test of time.

Hibbidy-Wah?! There’s A World Record For That?!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hmm.

I don’t know what would sex drive a man to beat this record, but I’ve got to hand it to this guy for sticking to something.  (I chose not to italicize the puns to give you a shot at picking them up.  It’s not that hard.)

(via)

Unhappy Find… Man, Detroit Sucks (But Charlie LeDuff Is A Pimp)

Posted on by sgottahurt

Charlie LeDuff is one of the coolest reporters we have here in Detroit.  Otherwise, Detroit sucks major ball bearings.

 

Worth 1002 Words… April Ludgate Is My Hero Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

'Nuff Said.

Unofficial Trilogy… Meta-Mental Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

These posters are almost like Neapolitan Ice Cream.

Mental illness is nothing to laugh about, and these films don’t take them lightly.  They take them light-ish.  Depression is depressing enough.

STRANGER THAN FICTION

Sure, Will Ferrell’s Harold Crick may not be too mental, but he sure needs some help.  When he begins hearing the narration about the mundane details of his systematic life, he seeks not only psychiatric help, but literary help.  Is his life a comedy or a tragedy?  Same goes for this film.

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL

Ryan Gosling’s Lars Lindstrom has a problem.  He can’t deal with the fact that his sister-in-law is pregnant (it is explained), so his response?  Get a mail-order girlfriend… that’s not really real, despite what the title depicts.  The whole town ends up chipping in and helping with his malady, so that maybe – just maybe – he can find true love with a real girl, like the title says.

THE BEAVER

Forget about Mel Gibson’s public exploits; his Walter Black is much worse off.  He’s so depressed that the only way he can keep giving a dam (ha!) is to speak through a beaver puppet.  This film isn’t as funny as you may hope it could be, but it is interesting… especially the end.  It’s certainly not flat like a beaver’s tail.  Sorry.

The Silver Lining… Nielsen Ratings

Posted on by sgottahurt

(SIDENOTE: This category of post used to be In Defense Of, but I’ve seen tons somes of In Defense Of’s all over the TripleDoubleU, so I’ve decided to change my angle on the same subject.  Voilà The Silver Lining!)

The People Meter, a.k.a. The Grating Ratings Box

When I was a kid, it was my dream to be a Nielsen Family.  In my mind, the concept was simple: we must watch TV.  (Or if NBC still had their druthers, we Must See TV.)

In reality, though, it’s not that simple (here’s the simpler explanation).  Nielsen is a monopoly (TiVo is a distant second in terms of tracking viewership).  And mostly families considered “less-well-off” (TRANSLATION: anyone that can’t afford to time shift the shows they watch or skip commercials) are the sample public.  What this means to TV fans is if you can skip past the commercials, that show will get cancelled.

So shows like Firefly and Arrested Development, and more recently, possibly NBC’s Community, suffer because their fans don’t watch commercials (“commercial-watcher” could become a fairly cruel epithet… at least as cruel as “mouth-breather”).

So where’s The Silver Lining?

In a nutshell, the Nielsen Ratings are a good indicator if the show I’m watching is actually good or not.  It didn’t used to be that way when we only had three channels to watch, but in these days of cable and the TripleDoubleU, the converse is true.

Don’t believe me?

American Idol gets high-ratings every year, and for most seasons, I’ve watched it.  I know it’s brain garbage, but the Nielsen Ratings prove that it is gray fecal matter.  Need another example?  American Horror Story’s season finale drew the highest numbers for FX ever, and that show sucked.

That’s really what this post is about… how much American Horror Story sucked.  And LOST, too.  Remember when that had high ratings?

So in closing, I must stick to my guns and not waste my time on any “popular” shows.  If a program makes it to a second season and the ratings were decent, that series just might be my cup of T… V.