My friend Jay works with a bunch of middle-aged shop guys (please take that as a euphemism), and as is common practice amongst those in that industry, the loony bin rejects spew a bunch of bullshit out of their mouths (so much for any euphemisms).

Every so often, Jay asks me to check out the validity of comets heading towards Earth, or if there really are three-breasted women doing porn.  And I do – often in the name of Drunken Recollections.  This latest effort is to get to the bottom of whether Rihanna’s song Umbrella is about how she sold her soul to The Devil.

This video is even long for my tastes, but I recommend checking it all out for curiosity’s sake (or jump to about the 4:30 mark):

That’s some heavy crazy analysis.  This one sees Satan in another place (his “semen” I guess):

And click here for a complete breakdown of the lyrics.

So What Do I Ultimately Think?

 

If someone can analyze the hell out of a video (so to speak) and find images of the occult, or the Illuminati, or whatever, then someone making a video could have just as easily put all those things in there.  Does it mean Rihanna or Jay-Z are Satanists?  Who cares.  Worshipping Baphomet at least makes more sense than worshipping Xenu…

…and for the record, let’s not bring this up again when drinking, Jay.  It’s kind of a buzz killer.
Because I’m kind of afraid.