There was another part to this mental madness involving President Obama being a superhero and that being the reason he was too busy to get any bigger issues fixed (it’s hard to repair the economy or create jobs if you’re saving babies and rescuing kittens in trees, I guess).
Otherwise, the concept of this dream was simple: I was in the U.K. and they were still quite fond of VHS. It was the preferred format over DVD and digital copies. There was a supermarket filled to the brim with the latest releases in the outdated form.
If this was actually the case, this would be a clam shell case you’d see there this week:
How big is that tape if it contains both versions of the film?
Self-help videos may be a thing of the past (YouTube anyone?), but they were vital to making me the me I am today. I’m the best kisser anyone knows, and I can take down the biggest bullies just long enough to run away in a hurry. Want to know what I know? Check these videos out!
This got me thinking… what other foregone technologies would I like to see return?
1) Spindle
In fairy tales, they were able to spin straw into gold. They also acted as GHB when it came to princesses. So maybe they shouldn’t come back.
2) Dick Tracy Copmobile
With technology like that, kids’ imaginations had to flourish. (See the original toy commercial down below.)*
3) Top Loading VCR’s
“What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” “The VCR heads!”
Nostalgia and functionality and purpose aside… look at how easy it was to use? With all those dials and switches and buttons, you could set the clock! (Ra-tat-tat-CRASH!) Of course I want it back for nostalgic reasons (but still not functionality and purpose).
4) Libraries
The Dewey Decimal System was "thisclose" to being the Huey Whole Number System. The Louie Lottery System wasn't even close.
There’s something terribly wrong with kids today, and I stand by two reasons why:
Siblings each having their own bathroom growing up, instead of fighting to share one.
Libraries aren’t used as social gathering places anymore.
Wait, what? Libraries still exist? I thought the Internet would have surely killed them. My bad.
SIDENOTE: While we await the Instant Cameras’ re-release, why not pick up this camera that logs every moment of your life? It’s like YouTube meets Twitter!
You know you want it
*Original Dick Tracy Copmobile commercial after the jumpRead More
I want to kick everyone’s ass involved in the making of this video. Fucking seriously. Watch it and tell me you don’t feel the rage:
The above clip (which should have been called How To Be A Spaz!) exists courtesy of a site I’m looking forward to exploring further called Video Home System, and that’s the true Happy Find. (Must remember to watch Show Off! anytime I need to get pumped up for a game of murderball, or actual murder… breathe… breathe…)
To shed light on the unbearable world of previously produced crap, let it dry out in the sun, and hopefully grow some hallucinogenic mushrooms for consumption by all.
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