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In My Brain While Sleeping… Lily Allen, Free Tickets, And The Chinese Restaurant

Posted on by sgottahurt

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So long as I’ve been following her on Twitter (I made it at least a few posts without bringing the micro-blogger up), Lily Allen has been playing a little game with her fans.  Every town she visits, she hides tickets and Tweets cryptic clues to their locations.

I’ve already dreamed in Twitter.  The next step was this:

When the British songstress visited Detroit, I tried figuring out the hints, but I didn’t bother searching.  My dream changed all that.

I was in a Chinese restaurant downtown near the casinos.  What’s funny is I don’t know if there are any Chinese restaurants there, and I certainly don’t eat Chinese (I stick to the basics of pizza and Pop Tarts, thanks).

Anywok, for some reason I was the host of said establishment, and there was a short girl with long black hair blocking her face.  She was hanging out in the waiting area, and she kept looking in at me, even though she didn’t have a reservation. 

Eventually, I realized that she was looking at my podium, and I headed to the front to see what all the fuss was about.  There were two blue tickets taped to the wood grain.  They weren’t official looking or anything.  It was as if they were made in Print Shop or something.

(Not So) Artistic Representation

(Not So) Artistic Representation

I peeled them off and Lily Allen rushed toward me, moving the hair from her face.  “Congratulations!” she said with her cute accent.  And no one in the place budged.

Disappointed with the dining crowd’s reaction, I shouted, “Free computers are hidden all over Greektown!”  Everyone leaped to their feet and dispersed, ditching their bills to do so.  I was fired on the spot, but it didn’t matter… not the way Lily was looking at me.

“Howzabout we skip me concert and go for a stroll,” she said.  And we did.

INGREDIENTS: Too much Twitter… and Jellybean Nerds.

Worth 1002 Words… Pac-Man’s Origin Story

Posted on by sgottahurt

Makes sense.

Makes sense.

 (via Topless Robot on Twitter)

In My Brain While Sleeping… An Anthology

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve had some doozies of dreams lately.  Alone, they probably don’t amount to much, but together… they still don’t probably amount to much.  I just think the cast has been strange of late, so here they are, collected as an anthology, separated by photos, natch.

It's a D.L.T. (Duchovny + Leoni + Travolta)

It's a D.L.T. (Duchovny + Leoni + Travolta)

In this dream, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were still together, and they happened to be the parents of my friend/boss Paul’s kids (his lists are begrudgingly featured on this very site).  Does this mean that I subconsciously refer to them as such?  WTF do I know?  

Anytruthisoutthere, the family went to a campground where the parents and kids stayed on opposite sides. The twisted purpose of the camp was to make the parents forget about their kids as they are set off into the real world alone.  Pretty Roald Dahl-type stuff here. 

So as the weeks and months go by, the two tykes survive in the world with the help of a magical friend, played by John Travolta, looking exactly like he does above for his role in The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.  As he helps Paul’s kids find their way back to Dave and Tea, Dave and Tea slowly remember that they have kids they need to find.  They prepare to leave the campground after six months, and the child-hating neighbors become suspicious.  When readying to leave their house (must have been a fancy campground), everyone stares through their front windows at them.  It was creepy, trust me.

See what happens when you put Charles in charge.

See what happens when you put Charles in charge.

This was kind of a quick snippet.  In the dream, the TripleDoubleU was all in a tizzy because allegedly there was a quick nude scene in an old episode of Charles in Charge, featuring Nicole Eggert.

Way to go subconscious.  Make dream nudity as geeky as possible.

"Melanie Chartoff and Neil Flynn were sitting in a tree..."

"Melanie Chartoff and Neil Flynn were sitting in a tree..."

I was back in high school in this dream, and the Principal from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose(season one coming to DVD June 30th – yay!) and the Janitor from Scrubs were my principal and janitor.   And I caught them.   Making out.   And possibly more.   I was having a bad day in the dream (of course), and after bearing witness to their deeds, I knew I had carte blanche.   I whistled as I walked the halls, long after the class bells rang.

Meet my brother. He's a Muppet.

Meet my brother. He's a Muppet.

In this last bit, I was in a JC Penney for some reason.  Everybody was dancing around like I was in some sort of musical.  My brother appeared to me in the form of a Muppet and he lead me into the part of the store that basically was Sesame Street.  This probably has to do with what I got him as a birthday gift, but still… weird.

INGREDIENTS: Peanut butter bagels, and probably my growing Twitter addiction (don’t believe my addiction… just check out my last three posts).

Breaking News (If You Care)! Heidi Montag Expecting (If You Can Believe Her Twitter Page)

Posted on by sgottahurt

UPDATE: It was a stupid April Fool’s joke, but then again, look at the perpetrator.

You can see the great certainty with which I’m announcing the the fact that Heidi Montag Tweeted that she’s not only expecting, but she’s hoping it’s a boy.  Is it an April Fool’s Joke?

From her Twitter page:

heidimontagtwitter

Now, I must admit… I’m still not sure the page is real.  She does so much “Bible thumping” and “God is great!” singing and dancing, that it seemed out of character for her.  But alas, I (obviously) do not know her, and I don’t live in L.A. to verify her events, such as her supposed Ryan Seacrest show appearance that was cancelled, so it could be real.

So hey, I guess that kind of puts the kibosh on my wish list plans for next Christmas…

BONUS: Click here to hear her new songs.  Oh, the timing of it all!  What kismet!  Hahaha… KIIS-met!  That’s Seacrest’s station!  And did you also know season five of The Hillsstarts April 6th?  Such serendipity!  Extra emphasis on the dipity!

Happy Find… Twistori

Posted on by sgottahurt

Whether you’re a fan of Twitter or not, there’s an interesting site out there that kinda sorta acts like the ear of Santa Claus, or maybe any of the gods or politicians you heathens pray to… Hail Zeus!  (Or maybe it’s what people call crying help lines about – see below.)

Anywebtrend, the site is Twistori, and it basically searches Twitter for any phrase that contains I love, I hate, I think, I believe, I feel, or I wish (which is basically everybody), and it streams them according to which set you pick.  As proof of narcissism or as a social experiment, it’s pretty neat, I think.  Here’s a couple screen shots, but I love it when you check things out for yourself.  I hate the fact you might miss out on in.  I think you should check it out, srsly.  I believe it’s not-to-be-missed.  I feel it’s one of the more interesting side application websites.  I wish you would visit that site soon.

 (See what I did there?  Ah, go stuff yourself.)

twistorilove

twistoriwish

(I wish I knew what this phone line was all about.)

JusWondering… Am I A Follower?

Posted on by sgottahurt

The other day, as I was walking into the office, I realized something.  Although I had parked in a far spot and the quickest route to the building’s entrance would have been over the grass, I followed the concrete walk.

But am I not a trailblazer?  Am I not a man of my own convictions?  I thought about this for a bit once I got to my desk, and I chalked it up to being “green” and worrying about “the environment.”

Then later, as I was logging into Twitter to do some Tweeting, I thought about how popular the micro-blogging site seems to be getting since I joined in the fun, and it lead me to wonder… did I sign up before I started hearing about it everywhere, or did I sign up because I started hearing about it everywhere?

unempdad1

(via Unemployed Dad)

Then later still, I found myself taking a survey… and as I awaited the results, I hoped I was in the majority.  I longed for getting mixed in with the masses.  (Sure, it was a survey about Chris Brown and Rihanna, so of course I would pray that the majority was thinking like me.)  But I always thought of myself as a guy that lived outside the box, not in it (unless perhaps I am the box… doubt it).

So who else out there thinks this commercial is funny enough to make it their voice mail?

Happy Find… “I Can Read Movies”

Posted on by sgottahurt

Okay, it’s official.  As you can see in the Widget bar at the left, I am a Twitterer-er–ee… and my user name is WYSeanIWYG if anyone’s interested (comment me with your below and I’ll “Follow”).

Anywhippersnapper, I’ve already made one cool discovery, courtesy of Actor! Kevin Pollak (whom I’ve always liked before and since The Usual Suspects, probably because he kind of reminds me of one of my uncles).

He recommended the “I Can Read Movies” Series by some artist named Spacesick.  Basically, he conceptualizes each selected film as an iconic, stylized image (kind of like the old Activision game covers), portrayed as an old book cover.

Some examples:

"There can be only one... unless we want to make sequels."

"There can be only one... unless we want to make sequels."

"Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. We've got company."

"Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. Swinging on vines with monkeys? Eventually."

Soon to be major motion pictures, I'm sure. Then "I Can Read Movies" novelizations. Then video games again.

Soon to be major motion pictures, I'm sure. Then "I Can Read Movies" novelizations. Then video games again.

My Heart(s) All A Twitter

Posted on by sgottahurt

There’s some things that are popular that I get, and there are somethings I don’t.  Then there are some I’m afraid to look too into out of fear of never escaping.  Such a curious mind can leave you with dementied brain dents you can never straighten out (I have four – FOUR* – images burnt into my retinas that will never leave me just because I had to go poking around on the TripleDoubleU).  And then there’s always the possibility of addiction (see my Songsmith post below).

And that, dear friends, is why I avoid things like Facebook and Twitter.  This WordPress blog is consuming enough.  One of my friends, Aaron, just started a Facebook profile and he’s spiraling down the drain like a dead goldfish in a toilet.

What I decided to do was test out the concept of Twitter, which is mini-blog you maintain through out the day.  How about you better explain it, Mr. Wiki:

Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows its users to send and read other users’ updates (otherwise known as tweets), which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length.

Okay, so pretty much what I said, not counting that mini vs. micro prefix.  So to illustrate how busy I am on a random day at work, allow me to present my Twitter test run.

10:35am – I’m at a client cleaning spyware.  Hearts kicked my ass, but not bad enough for me to quit.  Is it bad that I quit when I’m losing?

11:27am – I answered questions after figuring out what was asked.  I held a door for a woman and she said there are still gentlemen in this world.

11:45am – I was going to let a semi merge in front of me on freeway.  I used to battle truckers.  Since I’m nice now I think they look out for me.

12:02pm – At office, a minivan took its sweet time parking so I cut it off for the good spot.  So much for being a gentleman.  I had 2 pc’s to carry.

12:21pm – Proper restroom etiquette occurred whilst kids dropped off at pool.  Cannot linger when another is in the stall… it’s just not cool.

12:38pm – Have to upgrade my copy of Quickbooks, but CD is in another pc.  Too lazy to get up.  Remoting in to share drive and install.  Win!

1:06pm – At Taco Bell (‘natch) some dude stole my cheesy double beef burritos from counter!  Was it a scam or coincidence?  I’m thinking scam.

1:39pm – At Best Buy wrestled with buying Prince of Persia for $40.  Prince of Persia won.

2:13pm – Meaning to look into Drunken Recollection from last night.  Does blood thin in summer and thicken in winter?  Nurse/cousin Liz says no.

2:15pm –  Nurse/cousin Liz is right: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C0CE4DE1630F935A35751C0A966958260

2:31pm – Dave at work asks if I’d rather see Donkey Punch (again) or Street Fighter Chun Li.  I pick Donkey Punch.

2:32pm – Dave then asks if I’d rather see Donkey Punch or Tyler Perry movie.  I say Family that Preys got good reviews, so that, but not Madea.

2:33pm – Dave then asks if I’d rather see Street Fighter or Pink Panther 2.  I say Pink Panther… barely.

2:54 pm – A brand new pc’s Windows is missing so I run the restore.  While it’s restoring, I work on this entry.  I think I might like Twitter.

*Some may say “Just four?” but these four are enough for me.

Lost Footage From Magnum P.I?

Posted on by sgottahurt

Apparently the biggest mystery about Season 4 of “Lost” is how I missed this.  Thanks to Topless Robot’s Twitter (that sounds way worse than what it is), I am no longer in the dark.  Is Higgins behind Dharma?  You be the judge.