Hibbidy-Wah?! Las Vegas Pistons Almost Happened (And May Still)?!

I think I like this logo.

Although odds are against this for now, there was a chance that Detroit’s basketball team was going to move to Las Vegas.  This opened up a table full of questions:

  • Would the Pistons have kept their name?
  • Would Detroit have picked up another team?

Okay, so a pair of questions.  Since the Detroit Pistons are currently up for sale, anything can happen before next season.  Aside from the move to another state, the most likely buyer could be:

Mike Ilitch, owner of the Red Wings and Tigers

But it’d be kinda cool if the buyer happened to be either of these guys:

Kid Rock and Eminem, but not in that order

If the Pistons did happen to leave, there could be the possibility of this:

LeBron left, so why not the team?

(SIDENOTE: You see, Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert is from Detroit, so you never know.)

MORAL OF THE STORY: Gambling is bad only if you’re losing.

In My Brain While Sleeping… What Happens In Vegas, Stays Up In The Air

As it turned out, I could fly.  Normally, in dreams where I can fly, I have to flap my arms like wings.  This was the first dream I can recall where I willed my body into flight.

And I wasn’t alone.  There was a small troop of us that possessed this ability.

It was a little bit of this...

...mixed with the awe of this.

We lived in Las Vegas, and rather than use our abilities for the benefit of humanity, our leader – let’s call him Jimmy – devised a way for us to make some serious cash.

Rather than put on a garish stage production, Jimmy approached the big wigs that were opening a new casino, and he pitched a live interactive event.  He worked up plans that involved installing a pulley system throughout the casino that would be operated in the upper floors.

The concept – angelic beings (he would never call us actual angels) would fly around the casino, serving drinks, performing security, etc.

The big wigs bit, and our troop got the gig.  Millions upon millions of dollars were made, and us “angelic beings” were the talk of the town.

The scam was this – we may have had pulley cords tethered to us, but we pretty much flew around the casino wherever we wanted.  Nobody could understand our maneuverability, but that’s why people would spend big bucks to see us.

One day, as my friend – let’s call her Sapphron – and I were out at an expensive restaurant on the strip, a shiny green suited, big sunglasses wearing, fuzzy striped hat adorned man joined our table with his scantily clad female friend.  He bought us drinks and brought up our operation.

I thought he was really nice, but Sapphron caught on instantly.  He was simply a pimp trying to get his ho’s into our aerial act, as a new form of marketing.

By the point I believed Sapphron (apparently I was very naive), the pimp had already spent tons of money on us for the night, and he was asking to check out our facilities.  Sapphron and I obliged out of guilt for accepting all the food and drinks he bought that night, or out of fear for our lives.

We took him back to the casino to meet Jimmy.  We didn’t know what was going to happen.  As the two met, the tension in the room rose exponentially.  I looked at Sapphron, at the ho, at the pimp, then at Jimmy.  Then I woke up.

Sucks to leave an ending up in the air, eh?

In My Brain While Sleeping… A Trio Of Deliriums

I don’t even know if there’s an interest in the strange things I dream about, but it’s my blog and I can cry write about it if I want to.  I look at it mostly as the catalog I always meant to keep, but um, now do.

Over all the years, and even the months of this site, I know many odd and wondrous things have slipped through the cracks.  I collect here those that made it past the brain fade into oblivion, or the ones I care to share, which honestly are almost all… For example, I exclude those that are merely half ideas or lack narratives, like the dream where I had a motorcycle again (whoo hoo) or owned a gun that was combined with a bullhorn (a loudener, if you will).

For the sake of avoiding specifics on these dreams, I simply made montages.  In one case, it’s a Montag.

DELIRIUM 1

elephantdream

INGREDIENTS: Penn & Teller, two elephants (one pictured), a giant spatula, and buckets of fake blood.  It was one of their acts.  It was initially horrifying, then not so much so.

DELIRIUM 2

ocarinadream2

 

INGREDIENTS: Well, more of an explanation is needed here… there was this baby that had oily (pre-acne) skin, and depending upon how you touched the infant’s back, the child would make musical note sounds like an ocarina.  So as you held the baby in your arms, instead of crying, you heard elevator music, or the stylings of Kenny G.

DELIRIUM 3

speididream

INGREDIENTS: Spencer and Heidi Pratt and the cast of Kappa Mikey.  Man, those two don’t know the meaning of the word overexposure… and yes, they were in this cartoon.

OVERALL INGREDIENTS FOR DELIRIUMS (OR DELERIA, IF YOU PREFER): Velveeta cheese after beer and Pizza Rolls before beer.

My Life Is A Mess! (Now With Instructional Videos)

Considering my friend boss, Paul, is out of town, and he yelled at me for not posting another one of his lists before he left for vacation, I figured I’m not going to do much work this week.  In fact, I’ve considered paying somebody mere dollars to do a big job just so I can sit at home and do, well, pretty much the same thing I plan to do at the office.

Considering the result of such actions might lead to me getting the boot, I really appreciate this video’s suggestions for helping me to find a new job:

Come to think of it, my love life of late has loved being late!  Ha!  Wait, that sounds like I got someone pregnant.

Anywhereintheworldiscarmensandiego, here’s another instructional video.  This one is supposed to help me with the ladies:

If all else fails, I could learn how to play the slots from this guy:

(Thanks to Everything is Terrible my life is back on track!)