I’m letting Fernando Reza of Fro Design do the heavy lifting for me today.
Here’s A Handful Of business cards he made based on unforgettable corporate entities from TV and film.
Okay, here’s my one contribution… that somebody else did:
This little list occurred to me while I was drinking at lunch, and the video for Paul Simon’s You Can Call Me Al came on the telly.
It simultaneously made me think about other videos in which Actors! pretended to sing Artists! songs, and it made me happy that Chevy Chase is working again (Alison Brie and Community returns to NBC this fall). Here are the ones I could think of.
Oh, and by the way… you can call me, Allison Brie!
As a writer, one of the first things you do when starting a new story is come up with… a title. Well not really, because that can happen last. Actually, you come up with a narrative idea first, then the lead character’s name next. One hopes to conjure up a moniker that would match what the imaginary protagonist would be like (if you’re a good writer). Bella Swan? Really?
Anywhoisthat, here are some of the more notable exceptions to the naming game. I present to you (More Than) A Handful Of Nameless Lead Characters In Movies:
The protagonists in these films don’t have a hint of a name. The film credits don’t even give a clue. Well, if you don’t count Nada, Doctor, Doctor’s Wife, Guy, Girl, XXXX, Man, Boy, and the second Mrs. de Winter as clues.
They Live - Blindness - Once - Layer Cake - The Road - Rebecca
Everyone in this group is referred to by a name other than their own. Or at least we’re lead to assume this. Even though the lead character is called Smith, Columbus, Wichita, Little Rock, Tallahassee, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. White, Mr. Brown, Mr. Blue, Mr. Blonde, The Man With No Name, or El Mariachi, we never learn their real names.
Except for Wichita (Krista), Mr. Orange (Freddy Newandyke), Mr. White (Larry Dimmick), Mr. Blonde (Vic Vega), or The Man With No Name (Joe in A Fistful of Dollars, Monco in For a Few Dollars More, and Blondie in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly) that is.
Shoot 'Em Up - Zombieland - Reservoir Dogs - The Man With No Name Trilogy - Desperado
Sure, ten of the twelve jurors may happen to reveal their real names by the end of the film, Bill Paxton might be called “Dad” or “Mr. Meiks” throughout, Tyler Durden could actually be The Narrator’s name, and D-FENS is found out to be William Foster, but these movies are super bad-ass despite any ambiguity about the leads’ true identities.
12 Angry Men - Frailty - Fight Club - Falling Down
Oh, and one more thing. His character is named Nameless:
Hero
I don’t like this guy. At all. My reason is to quickly follow.
The way he sings in a whisper makes me imagine a man holding his cat’s front paws and making it dance, while he cooed much to the feline’s dismay, “You think you’re cooler than me.”
Anymeow, Mike Posner is from Southfield, Michigan, and as much as I seek to support local performers making it big, this guy – not so much.
To be honest, I originally thought his name was Mike Poser, and in a way under that belief, I appreciated his irony. Now he’s ironic in another way.
So here is A Handful Of local acts done good (not counting Motown, to make a point)… after the jump… Read More
Peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter and chocolate. Macaroni and cheese. Chicken in a Biskit and Easy Cheese.
All better because of their combination.
Well I feel the same way about singers (when I’m not hungry). Almost any song sung by a man and a woman is instantly superior to the solo acts. Sure, some same-sex double-ups are equally improved, but today, I don’t feel like focusing on cheese and cheese (although that does sound appetizing).
In no particular order, I present my list of all-time favorite duets:
The Human League – Don’t You Want Me
(more after the jump) Read More
They say youth is wasted on the youth. Well I say, adulthood is a waste if adults aren’t wasted. (See what I did there?)
Today I present to you A Handful Of flicks (as opposed to a fistful of punches) that I have seen way too many times growing up, wasting my youth as a youth.
This movie lead to me discovering (what I consider) the greatest horror film of all time: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Without this film, it would have taken me longer to discover who Carl Reiner (the director and Rob’s dad) was, but it might have spared me from seeing Mark Harmon’s Worth Winning (going into my Netflix queue… right now). Also, it may be a contender for starting the “dogs wearing sunglasses” genre of movie posters.
And not speaking of (big red) dogs, but of grown men portraying obnoxious children, there’s…
Okay, I might not have been so young when I watched this film over and over and over again. But I mean, come on! Martin Short is playing a ten-year-old boy! Hijinks and hilarity ensue!
Now back to dogs (and films made in 1987)…
Howie Mandel – of America’s Got Talent, Deal or No Deal, Bobby’s World, Good Grief, and blowing up rubber gloves over his head – was raised by dogs. ‘Nuff said.
Without this Richard Pryor vehicle, the world would never have met Stacey Dash (where has she been, by the way?)… but it would have also been spared Dana Carvey and Randy Quaid… moving on…
Elliott wasn’t good in this movie, E.T... Henry Thomas’ character shot and killed a bad guy in the end of this movie! Try to fit something like that in the next Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakuel, Hollywood!
I’ve already professed my love for Amanda Peterson long ago on this site, so let’s leave it at that. Well, that post and this quote:
There’s only one other titty, quite this pretty…
How’s this for a segue…
What can money buy, if not love? Ho, ho, ho’s!
This is the first movie I ever remember reading a review about. I recall some comment about producer Alexander Salkind’s obsession with origin stories. You see, this film dealt with Santa’s humble beginnings (unlike Tim Allen’s punderful The Santa Clause), and Salkind’s previous productions included The Three Musketeers (1973) and Superman (1978). Three films = obsession, I guess.
And this last cinematic masterpiece just screams REMAKE WITH TRACY MORGAN! (Not really…)
As a youth, I didn’t waste time pondering the logistics of a film about a rich white man buying his spoiled son a black man as a toy… so why start now!
Onto being an adult, and getting wasted!
I lurve robots. So much in fact, that at times when I’ve been in altered states, I’ve admitted that if I found out I was one, I wouldn’t be upset. Because I wouldn’t have emotions, you see.
Anyweirdo, here are some songs I like because they’re about robots… I think:
Mr. Roboto – Styx
Machinehead – Bush
Who’s Johnny? – El Debarge
Paranoid Android – Radiohead
The Humans are Dead – The Flight of the Conchords
As a kid, was a skid, and no one knew me by name. Trashed my own house party ‘cuz nobody came.
Oops, I’m already off topic…
As a kid, there were a few toys that never existed that I always wish existed. Shall we reminisce together?
1) BOBA FETT (WITH FIRING MISSILE)
Everybody had a friend that had one.
Call it a choking hazard, call it natural selection, these toys never made it market. But I swear I knew a kid– ah, forget it.
2) GLORIA BAKER AND SHARK (FROM M.A.S.K.)
Thank T-Bob the fan-fic pic is clean.
I’m not sure why this toy was never made. It’s not like Kenner hadn’t made other water vehicles, or other female action figures (Vanessa Warfield).
3) HOVER BOARD
Wasn't this supposed to be close to market fifteen years ago? How about in five from now?
After the time travelling DeLorean, of course, there was not much more I wanted from the Back to the Future films.
4) ROCKETEER’S ROCKET PACK AND HELMET
Scary. but fun...
…that, or his girlfriend…
Jenny, Jenny...
5) GREATEST AMERICAN HERO INSTRUCTION BOOK*
The only book that could be a toy...
*Costume better be included…
6) STAR TREK’S HOLODECK
Doesn't look like much fun now, but neither does a deflated balloon.
If I have to explain this one, I don’t care to know you. Good day!
7) “THE TOY”
Sorry, I had to...
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in standing by this list, but I’m afraid I share it with prepubescent dweebs. Carry on!
Borderline Magic
Remember these? You held them in your hand, and the liquid would boil up to the top. Then you would take it out of your hand and then the liquid would return to the bottom… only to be boiled by your hand again. I guess these aren’t much different from those plastic collapsible animals, but they seem cooler (maybe cooler should be italicized as well).
Borderline Impossible
I adored these.
For some reason.
Borderline Tasty
In pre-Challenger America, NASA was The Shit. Every kid in this country dreamed of becoming astrophysicists, and we swallowed the pill that this was the way spacemen (and women) enjoyed our favorite childhood treat. It didn’t take us becoming rocket scientists to realize this wasn’t worth all the work.
Borderline Boring
“These ain’t ya daddy’s Squirmles! Wait. Yes, they are…” – Abandoned Slogan
I had a few of these as a kid and I used them to torture my sisters. Not in any “frightening” way or method, either. They always wanted to play with them; I wouldn’t let them.
Borderline Dangerous
My godfather bought me my first (and only) chemistry set when I was about ten. I made a lot of powders change colors, and it was awesome! This particular set costs $250. It must be super awesome…
Here’s some things I’ve picked up over the years and have never been able to put down. Well, that might be an overstatement. I could “put them down” in an insulting fashion, I’m sure. I was attempting clever word play, and I’ve thus succeeded in coming off as pretentious… nice going, d-bag.
POTSIE’S COUSIN “INVENTED” THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER
Would you associate these two images? On second thought, strike that question from the record.
Anson Williams, a.k.a. Potsie Weber from Happy Days, was actually a Heimlick. His second cousin was Dr. Henry Heimlich, the guy that named a move after himself. I have a few things to say about this strange fact I know:
EELS’ LEAD SINGER’S DAD ORIGINATED THE CONCEPT OF PARALLEL WORLDS
Remember this song?
If you didn’t, and you listen to it again, you now answer that same question differently. I’ve pulled your current consciousness from one plane of existence (where you did not remember that song), into this plane where you do. They both exist regardless of you decision. And that’s kind what Hugh Everett III (father of the guy in the above video, Mark Oliver Everett, or simply E) talks about in his theory (as far as I can understand it).
I’m not too amazed by this “discovery” though… some pot head (a.k.a. Potsie) would have thought it up sooner or later.
PAPA OF NURSE HATHAWAY – SORRY, THE GOOD WIFE – WROTE THE ALKA-SELTZER JINGLE
Once upon a time, she pushed George Clooney away.
No matter what Julianna Margulies will be in for the rest off her life, I’ll always think of her as Nurse Hathaway on ER. I bet the same thing can be said about her father, Paul, in relation to this earworm:
ONE OF THE MONKEES’ MAMAS MADE MISTAKE OUT
That one Monkee(s) happens to be Michael Nesmith. And Mistake Out is better known to us as Liquid Paper. I wrote about this before here.
AND THIS ONE I JUST LEARNED…
It’s not about kin, though… it’s just about one man… this man…
James Lipton in da howz!
Did you know he composed the theme song to Thundercats?!
(via Warming Glow)
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