In My Brain While Sleeping… A Dreamy Episode Of 30 Rock

This dream unfolded as an episode of 30 Rock.  I shall try to capture it for you.





Last night’s skit about President Obama was a success.  All the trades are talking about it.




They’re not speaking positively about it Liz.  You said he was a member of the Illuminati.




We were poking fun at the fact that every president is in the Illuminati.  We don’t want to appear left-winged all the time.  Besides, the Illuminati doesn’t even exist.  I don’t even know what they’re all about.




(running into room, disguised not necessarily as a ninja)Did you hear?  An eight year-old blogger was assassinated uptown because he said he didn’t like the president’s new dog.




That’s ridiculous, Tracey.  Obama would never do that… would… he…


Tracey and Liz visit Jack to discuss the possibility of danger.




The both of you don’t really believe the conspiracy theory that the Illuminati exists, do you?  Let alone the possibility that our latest president could be a part of that organization?  And that he would be willing to assassinate bloggers?




Eight year-old bloggers.





Tell you what.  To appease you both and to provide a sense of safety, why don’t we get that makeup artist in here…




The one that turned Tracey into Robery Downey, Jr?





Yes, that one.  He–


Jack’s office window suddenly shatters and Tracey and Liz flee, screaming.  Jack picks up a found golf ball.




Moonves, isn’t it a bit early for building tee off?






Wow, Toofer… this is a really nice place for the salary we’re paying you.




It didn’t come equipped with windows.  That’s how I can afford it on my salary.  And your welcome, for letting you stay here.




(eating food out of Toofer’s fridge) Thank you.



Liz and Tracey try various hiding places while Jack talks to them.




A week has passed, and no serious threats have been made against your lives.  Can you finally admit that there is no Illuminati?

Liz and Tracey finally stand up and face him.




Yes.  Yes, we can.





(Anonymous voice from speaker phone) That’s sufficient.





You know Jack, Liz and I have learned a lot from this experience.  Like not to jump to conclusions when eight year-old bloggers get assassinated.  And how to make pumpkin pies.  Toofer is a great chef and teacher.


Happy Find… Yes, Let Me Taste Your Tears, Or Puddin’

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve always been a big brother, or if it’s simply because I’m a horrible human being… but the sight of people crying makes me smile. 

Sounds like evil to me.

Obviously, I find this video hilarious:

A question of whether it’s real or not is a moot point to me.  Did we wonder if Pee Wee Herman was a weirdo in real-life while we were enjoying “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure?”  Well, maybe we should have before giving him a kid’s show, but it doesn’t mean he’s still not funny.  Check out his episode from the first season of “30 Rock” or watch this weird bit from “Tom Goes to the Mayor:”

More Abby Elliott!

Since she was not prominently featured yet again on last weekend’s episode of “Saturday Night Live,” here’s Abby Elliott doing another skit for the Upright Citizens Brigade Midnight Show.  Enjoy!

Here’s the new cast member voted most likely to replace Tina Fey – Michaela Watkins.  Enjoy as well!

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Yippee Tracy Morgan! Boooo Kathie Lee!

Vodpod videos no longer available.Isn’t Kathie Lee Gifford such a scrumptious piece of heavenly delight?  Is not her sense of humor unmatched by the kings and queens and paupers of comedy?  Her comedic timing with Regis Philbin was impeccable, and often, she outshone him!  Even Tracy Morgan can’t keep up with her!  Amazing!

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(I pray that was a sufficient amount of sarcasm… I don’t have all day.)

(via Best Week Ever)

InASense, Lost… Lemon Party

As a huge fan of “30 Rock,” I cannot wait for its premier next week.  But after a co-worker recently pointed out a huge dirty joke in last season’s holiday episode, “Ludachristmas” – one that I did not get because I was unaware of the reference – let’s just say that ignorance is bliss… and some things burn into your retinas forever.

If you’re brave enough, begin your journey here.  It is one of the slyest dirty jokes I’ve ever seen pulled over the heads of network television executives (or “The Brass” as I like to call them) since Michael told GOB to get rid of the “Seaward,” and his mother, Lucille, snapped “I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.”

(R.I.P. “Arrested Development”… Much love…)

Courtesy of TVismyIV and Hulu.

Talk About Uncanny Valley

Two seasons in and “30 Rock” has had more than its share of quotes and one-liners.  One of my favorites came in the form of Judah Friedlander’s Frank explaining “The Uncanny Valley” to Tracy Morgan’s Tracy Jordan in “Star Wars.”  Basically, the theory states that as an artificial lifeform approaches a more lifelike appearance, the creepier it will get.

"Han Solo acts like he doesn't care, but he does."

 The industrial robot would be R2-D2 and C-3PO would be the humanoid robot (“They’re nice,” Tracy sighs).  Han Solo is the healthy person (“He acts like he doesn’t care, but he does,” Tracy laments).  In the valley, you’d find Clone Troopers and Tom Hanks in “The Polar Express,” to which Tracy freaks out.

Add this…

As Tracy would sing – “Spooky, scary…” (check it out at )