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Happy Find… Happy President’s Day!

Posted on February 16, 2009 by sgottahurt

First, some little known facts about our first president:

Thirty-fifth, some little known facts about our thirty-fifth president:

My Bloody Valentine’s Day Weekend (A Friday The 13th Review)

Posted on February 15, 2009 by sgottahurt

I’ve finally seen the new Friday the 13th movie, and though my hopes weren’t set that high (well, they were set at least hurdle length off the ground), it sort of disappointed.

The opening sequence showed promise. It even included a dude singing this song while listening to his iPod. It showed some of the mechanics of Jason Voorhees tactics, but from there, not much else surprised. I wasn’t looking for them to reinvent the wheel… just tweak it a bit.

I love the original Dawn of the Dead, but the new one enhances its story. The same goes for The Hills Have Eyes. This one falls in with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake – they both could have been worse, but they could have been better. (Haven’t seen either Halloween or My Bloody Valentine, so no comment.)

I thought Jason was too powerful and menacing without showing any origin for his alleged supernatural abilities. In the earliest films (2-4), he was vulnerable and clumsy, and in effect made him scarier. He could be defeated, but no one was doing it. Starting with Part 6, he was brought back to life and became zombie-like, and that worked for most of the remaining films. The best in the series is still Freddy Vs. Jason, because it follows all the rules of both series, with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

SPOILERS: What’s with the Tom Cruise lookalike’s unwarranted hostility in the film? Also, when did Jason ever keep somebody locked up and alive (a problem slightly hinted at in Part 4)? And how do you show a bug zapper twice and not use it to dispense anybody! (At least I called the wood chipper…)

Hail, hail, the gangs all GAHHHHHH!

(via this dude’s site)

InASense, Lost… What Is It With Kids These Days

Posted on February 14, 2009 by sgottahurt

When I was just a wee lad back in the day (I’m prepping for St. Paddy’s), it was awful fun for the adults give kids a sip of beer and watch their reactions. I’m the oldest boy of all the cousins on my father’s side, and for quite awhile I was the only boy (my brother broke the streak when I was nine… there were nine girls and me… ever notice how the more girls there are, the higher the octave of screeching goes?)

What I’m getting at is it wasn’t uncommon for my elders to make me the butt of the joke. Some might have thought it would encourage drinking, but I never took a sip of alcohol (not counting my relatives’ pranks) until I turned 19 and could legally do so in Canada. My other tendencies in alluded-to innocence: I was more interested in Nintendo than IN-tendo (if you catch my innuendo), smoking was a disgusting habit my parents had and I swore I would never have, and drugs… well, I’d stick only to any of the natural kind.

But nowadays, you have 13 year olds becoming fathers…

…parents pulling new tricks on their kids for laughs (and filming it and putting it on YouTube… “Thanks Dad… what are you, like, thirteen, or something?”)…

…or teaching their kids to be pretty good at smoking.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Everybody Freak Out About This Toddle…“, posted with vodpod

I guess you could always over indulge your child and baby them so they can become insulated and protected from the rest of the world (read: spoiled), that they never have to deal with R|E|A|L|I|T|Y. Heaven forbid someone take their Cloudsong…

In My Brain While Waking Up… Sweet Jehovah! A Demon Dog Is In My Hallway!

Posted on February 14, 2009 by sgottahurt

I’m not sure exactly why I do this, but I think it had something to do with me staying up too late and not waking up for work to get money so I could stay out too late or something, but I keep my alarm clock in the bathroom.

Now the only reason I’m mentioning this is because this morning, on my stumbling walk from my bedroom to the bathroom to hit snooze (as per my snooze addiction – the only reason I set my alarm for a Saturday morning), my t-shirt scared the piss out of me.

As I bumped the doorway at an angle I usually don’t (I often bump walls and doorways because I don’t open my eyes much), I spotted the corner of my black tee from last night in the hallway and thought it was a Demon Dog from Ghostbusters. Woke me up instantly.

At 9:37am between snoozes - yes.

Although it actually got my heart racing, I still hit the snooze bar on my alarm clock and laid back down, making sure to change the location and placement of the image-inducing cotton product.

What finally fully awakened me was my doorbell. And the door knocking. And the doorbell again. Oh yeah, there it is – interior door knocking now.

It must have snowed last night, was my first thought, and the incessant attention seeking noise was my neighbor kid wanting to shovel the walk, because sure-as-shit, the area Jehovah’s just ain’t that persistent. They politely knock, stick a pamphlet in the door handle, and move along, proselytizing. And if it was anyone I knew, they would have called in tandem with the racket, and my cellular remained silent. I checked out the window, and yup – two inches of snow on the ground.

Sure I could shovel it, I thought. But it’s going to melt anyway.

Bonus Saturday morning cartoon:

Extra bonus weekday syndicated cartoon:

(via Worst Cartoons Ever)

Happy Find… I’m Ready For My St. Patrick’s Day Extravaganza

Posted on February 13, 2009 by sgottahurt

Oh glorious day!

Last night, between my basketball game and my soccer game (minimal blisters this time in case anyone worried), I stopped at a local bar chain called Bailey’s. I arrived at 10:30pm and ordered myself a Guinness (the best beer to drink before playing soccer in case anyone wondered).

I found out that starting at 11pm, there was to be special pricing on the heavy brew (I pretend it’s a melted malt shake). I also found out if you stood up and read a toast, you would get a long sleeve Guinness shirt, and this:

guinness-hat

Unfortunately, I was to be leaving at 11pm to for football, so my buddy, Rodney, opted to do to give the toast on behalf of me.

Little did he know, he would be the only one to volunteer and actually do it. (Another guy stood up to join him, but said little to nothing.) He had to get the entire bar’s attention and read the pre-written cheer.

When we returned, he gave me both the shirt and hat, and for that I’m eternally (or least until St. Patrick’s Day) grateful.

A toast to Rodney! Sláinte!

Anonymous Fans Of Anonymous Unsafe Sex

Posted on February 13, 2009 by sgottahurt

This topic has been bothering me for a couple days. I’m not supposed to know some fact, according to my friend’s girlfriend, and since he promised her he wouldn’t say, he didn’t say. But he gave clues.

And remember – I may be addicted to guessing games.

The sitch is this: my friend found out some girl we know has never used protection. He was stunned by this fact and said his opinion of her dropped (you can take the boy out of Catholicism but you can’t take the brainwashing out of the boy).

I don’t condone unsafe sex, but I don’t judge. I simply assume everyone’s filthy, and I worry about myself. Actually, I do hold it against girls that sleep with known douchebag-whore men, but that’s neither here nor there.

I had my guesses and made my chart accordingly, but too be honest… I never held any of my options in saintly regard in the first place, or they’re since married (in that order). I think it would take someone close to me that had this bad habit to shock me, and luckily not many ladies I know have daughters (if the mystery woman had a son, this could have meant serious trouble).

(And by "partied" I mean just that.)

In contrast to my friend’s opinion: I’m offended by the tattoo situation. She wants to get a tattoo of her daughter’s name, and it’s going to take two $600 sessions, which my friend swears will probably take her to three of four. She has financial woes of some sort – yet she’s taking a loan for tattoos.

Hello impending Idiocracy.

Drunken Recollection… I’m Drunker The Smarter I Get

Posted on February 12, 2009 by sgottahurt

Last night, I had the first confirmation of a theory I’ve long held to be true. It’s not quite a Theory Sheet level theory (yet), and the jury is still out on whether or not it’s repeatable, but I’ve at least found an available and consistent means to test it.

The Theory: Thinking while drinking makes you smarter.

I was going to describe how the parachutes are like beer and the running is like thinking, but the picture makes me laugh for some reason, so I'll write nothing but this.

The Test: Brain Age 2 for the Nintendo DS

Basically, two nights ago, I dug out my DS because I didn’t feel like turning on my TV and PS3 to play a video game to fall asleep. Brain Age 2 was in there and since I didn’t feel like changing that out (I was tired… and a little lazy), I gave it a go. It was a sober night, and I was rated a Brain Age of 54.

Last night, I had a good five drinks in me as I went to bed. I pulled out the ol’ DS one more time and I was rated a Brain Age of 34. That’s a substantial gain, especially when considering my average was previously 53.

I knew it!

The big question that remains: Do I have to stay drunk to stay smarter?

JusWondering… Flooded Bathrooms, Head Sizes, Spasms, And Dirty Words?

Posted on February 11, 2009 by sgottahurt

Just some things I’ve been thinking about the last 24 hours:

At the bar last night, someone left a faucet running. It filled the sink and started flooding the floor. I turned it off and alerted the waitstaff. The waitress’ response, “Not again.” This made me wonder: Are we so used to automatic water faucets that we don’t remember how to use the old ones?

Now... you grab what and pump how again?

I get an occasional twitch in my left thigh where my cell phone usually hangs around. Should I change the pocket I carry my cell phone in?
I used to be pretty good at math, and I’ve always loved board games. People used to tell me I should have went into statistics, but I thought that would have been boring. Maybe I should have invented some new kind of puzzle game.
Brit pop star Lily Allen has a new CD out. Kevin Smith’s latest movie just came out on DVD. While I was at Target, I looked at the back of Lily’s CD and saw that she had a song called “Fuck You,” clear as day on the back. Yet, Zack and Miri couldn’t have Make a Porno on it. So a “Fuck You” on your back is better than a “Porno” on your front?
"What's a p****, mom?" "A p**** is a video of people fucking, honey."
This song I heard on the radio last night as I was driving home reminded me of discovering new music in my college years:
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist would have been better if Nick and Norah’s heads were in proportion to each other. I’m not sure if Michael Cera’s head is too small or Kat Dennings’ chest head is too big. (I’m thinking the prior.)
Made me not-so-afraid of NYC... I've seen too many 70's movies.