I finally caught this movie on Netflix and my mind is blown. How could I have never seen any of it ever before! Released in 1984, only a couple of months after Ghostbusters, this future cult favorite was a flop. Apparently, the final film was a conglomeration of many false starts. Writer Earl Mac Rauchhad begun scripting so many adventures for BuckerooBanzai, but he never finished any until he merged them into this one. That’s why it feels like such a rich universe. Or should I say, rich dimension…
Recently, on the Hub or some channel like that, I happened to catch back-to-back episodes of both shows, and I’ve already decided that there is a clear winner in the Awesome Battle between He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and She-Ra: The Princess of Power. This post will illustrate my process.
ROUND 1 – THEME SONGS
Each of these are classics in their own right, but one stands out as a more advanced arrangement. One could even imagine its back beat being lifted for an artist such as Nicki Minaj:
WINNER: SHE-RA
ROUND 2 – ROGUE GALLERY
Let’s take a look at She-Ra’s enemies – The Evil Horde, lead by Hordak:
They were so bad-ass, they didn’t even sell them as part of the She-Ra toyline.
Sexual overtones are in all cartoons… especially in ones that phocus on fysique focus on physique. So in He-Man, you have Prince Adam who dresses like this:
Um… yup.
And this is him as He-Man with his merry crew:
Despite furry loin clothes and boots, plus Ram Man’s skirt, this is a bit better.
Even if you excuse the rainbow for the times, on the episode of She-Ra that I watched, at the start of the show, she emerged from one of the other ladies’ tents after spending the night. Remember, this is pre-Brokeback Mountain, too, but mixed messages are mixed messages for a reason.
WINNER: TIE WITH SLIGHT EDGE TO SHE-RA (NOT TO BE INSENSITIVE, BUT I’LL CHOOSE LESBIANS EVERY TIME)
ROUND 4 – COMIC RELIEF
On MOTU, you have Orko:
“Here’s today’s lesson… if you try to be funny, you’re probably not…”
On POP, you have Madame Razz:
Get it! She has a talking broom! (I don’t get it…)
WINNER: TIE… NEITHER ARE THAT FUNNY
ROUND 5 – ACCEPTABLE WEIRDNESS
Here are some weird things on He-Man:
They fight by shoving, not punching.
Need more proof?
Who’s this guy?
A dragon wearing a horned helmet?
This takes the cake.
No weird pictures for She-Ra because all that shit’s acceptable.
WINNER: SHE-RA
ROUND 6 – HIDDEN CHARACTERS
In every episode of She-Ra, you had to watch extra hard to find Loo-Kee hidden somewhere in a scene:
He hid better than this.
The only thing hiding in episodes of He-Man was common sense.
I was really trying to buy more time to think of more songs like these, but I needed to share what I have now. I’ll add more later one day, but these are the songs that make me feel like:
I’m sitting alone at a bar
on a rainy day
feeling introspective
not in a self-loathing type of way
but in a how did I get here and where do I go next type of way
and there’s a band playing one of these songs
regardless of the song’s content
and nobody’s really listening
except me
Bob Seger’s Mainstreet
The Jeff Healey Band’s Angel Eyes
Billy Vera and the Beater’s At This Moment
Dan Fogelberg’s Same Old Lang’s Syne
That’s enough of me being cheesy today. You’re probably thinking:
Once upon a time (not ABC-Disney’s eponymous show), Tim Burton and Don Bluth were a part of the Disney family. Coincidentally (Coinkidinkily), one of the last projects they shared parts of was The BlackCauldron(Burton designed the The Horned King; Bluth animated a few uncredited scenes).
Anygurgiwantsmunchiesandcrunchies, they share one other similarity: a fascination with dead dogs (not really).
SIDENOTE: A Coinkydonk , too? Why is this an Awful Battle? Read on.
In 1984, the last thing Burton made for Disney was a short film called Frankenweenie. This lead to him getting fired.
As for Bluth, All Dogs Go to Heaven ended his short streak of hits. Even though it developed spin-offs, it was mostly a flop following the highly successful An American Tail and The Land Before Time films. (RIP Judith Barsi)
Now that Disney and Burton made money peace over the stop-action Nightmare Before Christmas and live-action Alice in Wonderland films, he’s flipping the script on his newest film:
Why does it seem even creepier animated than the original which was live-action?!
This imagined post from the past comes upon the heels of two interesting and recent developments: my re-falling in love with Kelly Preston, and that there will (possibly) be a sequel to 1988’s Twins called Triplets! Eddie Murphy will play Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s long-lost brother. My head is spinning, and not a because of a tum-ah! (Sorry, wrong film…) Here’s what I might have written when I was 13:
Good thing presidents don’t have sequels!
1988 has come and gone. So has a great year at the movies.
Not only did the best action film ever get released (by the way, it’s Die Hard), but there was a return to animation being mixed with live action in the incredible Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Time will only tell if they’ll make any more movies that mix real actors and cartoons (doubt it), and who could possibly make another action film about one guy taking on an entire group of baddies in such a believable manner (no one)? But what I really want to write about are this year’s “big” comedies.
There’s a reason I put big in quotes – Big is one of the fantastic comedies that came out this year. Beetlejuice and Naked Gun were good clean-ish fun, and I wasn’t supposed to see the unclean-ishComing to America, but I did.
For me, the stand-out was Twins and you might be inclined to think these are the reasons why:
It was truly good clean fun (and funny).
Kelly Preston is beautiful.
Arnie and Danny have comedic chemistry.
In jest truth, it was the film’s on-the-nose soundtrack. Aside from The Spinners’ Brother to Brother (playable down below), you had this gem by Little Richard and Phillip Bailey:
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t get what being a hipster really is. That having been said, I’m going to extrapolate their reactions to a current trend I see.
To begin, let’s imagine that Rivers Cuomo of Weezer is Patient Zero in this analysis. When Weezer hit the mainstreamlamestream (that’s lame) mainstream with Undone (The Sweater Song), people noticed because it had a distinctive voice and sound. Their follow-up, Buddy Holly, was much more accessible and — normal.
So here are some newer artists with their first releases and their follow-ups, and we’ll gauge the responses from hipsters.
AWOLNATION’s Sail
AWOLNATION’s Not Your Fault
What do you think about that, hipster?
"Get out of my way!"
Foster the People’s Pumped Up Kicks
Foster the People’s Helena Beat
What do you think about that, hipster?
"Have you seen my friend? He's around here somewhere."
I’ve written about this song before in this post (please read… it’s one of the better ones where I actually tried*), but I’ve never seen the real video until now.
Until.
Now.
Un.
Til.
No… please don’t…
*This post is an example of one when I didn’t try.
I don’t know what made me think of this list. And I promise you, it will not be anywhere near as insightful as this article.
In fact, I won’t even cover one of those on that list… which shortens my considerably (really, all I would have included were John Lennon/Paul McCartney tracks, and maybe a Foo Fighters tune).
So without further adieu, here are some Strange Songs About Other Singers.
WHY IT’S STRANGE: It’s not a particularly good song, for one. For two, this group faced a tragedy not long after this song was released – an automobile accident claimed the lives of two band members.
WHY IT’S STRANGE: He’s a basketball player! And he chose his jersey number based on the amount of weeks Thriller was number one! (FYI, it’s 37… in a row!)
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