TV

Awesome Battle… TV Show Destinations

Posted on by sgottahurt

TV is all about taking you to places you’ve never been, and these shows now make me want to go to these places.  Let’s go travel on this Awesome Battle…

  • Mumbai, India

Featured in NBC’s Outsourced, the cast of colorful characters make the country’s capital quite appealing.  The most populous city in India (and the second most populous in the world) as a possible vacation destination?  Why not?  Besides, I hear they have great burgers.

  • Portland, Oregon

Featured in IFC’s Portlandia, the dream of the 90’s is alive in Portland.  So is the creepy statue above called Portlandia.  It’s the second-largest copper statue in America after the Statue of Liberty.  And it’s creepy.  Just imagine looking up at that.  Creepy.

  • Pawnee, Indiana

Featured in NBC’s Parks and Recreation, this fictional city is probably more appealing because it is fictional, but with such a well-intentioned Parks and Rec department, the clueless citizens would be sure to pay me to, say, start up a marching band or build a monorail.

  • Cleveland, Ohio

Featured in TV Land’s Hot in Cleveland, it’s a place not too different from where I’m from, but I’ve always figured I should visit there.  One day.  I’ll get there.  It seems nice.

  • Bar Karma

So okay, yeah… the picture is of Australian Cassie Howarth, and she can be found on Current TV’s Bar Karma.  Bar Karma is beyond the universe and at the center of it.  It’s The Twilight Zone within The Outer Limits.  Developed by The Sims’ creator Will Wright, the show allows its viewers to plot the series.  Plus, did I mention Cassie Howarth is there?

CLOSE CALLS

  • San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua

Featured on CBS’ Survivor: Redemption Island, it exemplifies the old saying:

Life’s a beach.

  • Detroit, Michigan

Featured in ABC’s Detroit 1-8-7, the city looks pretty nice.  But in reality, it’s like that old saying:

Life’s a bitch.

Hibbidy-Wah?! Hibbidy-Wowza!

Posted on by sgottahurt

Me: "I wanna be in a Modern Family." *stomps foot*

Sofia Vergara has proven herself quite the comedienne on ABC’s Modern Family.   This commercial proves she’s also quite the salesperson when it comes to Pepsi:

I didn’t get the joke at first.  That’s why I watched it twelve times.

Drunken Recollection… Portlandia’s Theme

Posted on by sgottahurt

If you are not watching this show, you haven't seen it.

Friday’s are the one day of the week I’m most likely to spiral out of control.  It used to be Mondays and Tuesdays.  And Thursdays.  And Wednesdays.  And sometimes Sundays.  Rarely Saturdays because that’s amateur hour.  But yeah, these days, I’m lame and go the extra mile on Fridays.

Now don’t you go and worry that I don’t drink any of the other days.  Because I do.  Each day.  Almost exclusively.  (Yes, I know what exclusively means.)

Anyputabirdonit, the shows theme song reminded my friends and I of an 80’s song.  Here’s the theme (and not the awesome premise theme):

  • Feel It All Around by Washed Out

I initially thought it was:

  • Baby I Love Your Way by Peter Frampton

But I was on the wrong side of that emotion.  It actually reminded me (and us?) of this:

  • I’m Not in Love by 10cc

In closing, please click on putabirdonit and premise theme.  This show is fantastic.

A Handful Of… Appealing Newscasters

Posted on by sgottahurt

It takes a lot to be a newscaster.  Unless you’re appealing.  Then it’s easy.

Of course I’m being sarcastic.  (Or am I being sarcastic by saying I’m being sarcastic?)

Regardless, here are A Handful Of newscasters that fared well in the looks department.  Call ’em appealing, call ’em attractive, call ’em hot… just don’t call ’em entitled.

First captured my attention: TV on main floor of workplace

I have to admit – I still haven’t heard Ms. Burnett in action, but she’s on the LCD monitor in our lobby everyday.  One day, I’ll hear her voice.  I hope she doesn’t sound like Miley Cyrus… (Burn!)

First captured my attention: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

She’s probably as stuck up as they come, but I can’t help my schoolboy crush on Ms. Kelly.  I’m pretty sure Jon Stewart feels the same…

First captured my attention: ???

I know she’s been in the biz for a while, but one day I just realized Ms. Curry is attractive.  Either she has always been and I’ve been too busy to notice… or I had a dirty dream about her that I don’t remember.

First captured my attention: saving the world on Onion News Network

You might not know her name, or her face, or her fake news show, but Ms. Alvarez (in reality, Suzanne Sena) is a presence unmatched by most real or fake newscasters.  She’s like the eye of a storm… that she caused.

First captured my attention: ABC's The Mole

I am only human.

JusWondering… Why Doesn’t Everyone Here Know About Asma Mahfouz?

Posted on by sgottahurt

There are two things I rarely get into on this site:

  1. Politics
  2. YouTube videos longer than one minute

Well I JusWatched this video in its entirety, and I am amazed I haven’t heard anything about Asma Mahfouz.  I could say that’s possible because Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have been on vacation this week, but the video’s more than ten days old, so that’s no excuse.  (Thank goodness I still had Roger Ebert.)

The reason why I’m shocked I haven’t seen much coverage of her (I had to type her entire name in Google) is because this video might have started everything that’s happened in Egypt.  And as Miley Cyrus might be inclined to say, “That’s pretty cool.”

It might not be our history, but it’s still history.

Worth 1002 Words… Baby Splat Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

 

Try Forgetting

 

Some altern–

–who am I kidding?!  Look at that thing! Aah!

(via / original commercial)

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Hot Golden Girls In Cleveland Math Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hey!  It’s time for another So, Duh! Pop Quiz, and this time it’s involving everyone’s favorite subject… math!

It’s also involving another favorite subject of everyone… hot mature ladies!  (My hit count is bound to increase just due to those three words.)

TV Land’s Hot in Cleveland is this generation’s Golden Girls.  Both are composed of a crew of seasoned comediennes playing against the sexual mores of today, and boy girl… have times changed, at least in regard to how we view age.

There was no such thing as MILF in 1985.  Well, I’m sure there was, but people weren’t putting it on t-shirts and mugs.

What the quiz entails is guessing the age difference between each selected cast member of Golden Girls and Hot in Cleveland.  As always, the answers are after the jump.

dorothy zbornak victoria chase

1) Bea Arthur and Wendie Malick

sophia petrillo melanie moretti

2) Estelle Getty and Valerie Bertinelli

blanche devereaux joy scroggs

3) Rue McClanahan and Jane Leeves

rose nylund elka ostrovsky

4) Betty White and Betty White

(Like I already said, answers after the jump)

Read More

Awful Battle… Discarded Titles For Justin Bieber Movie

Posted on by sgottahurt

There’s a reason I record everything on my DVR – I can’t stand commercials anymore.  Now in some cases, it leads me to discover the existence of new shows, such as Chris Elliott’s Eagleheart:

But in most cases, it reminds me that “Yes Virginia, crap does exist.”  Behold:

Let this be known – I tried so hard to block this film from my mind, but it’s found me, despite my best defenses… of a quick jump button on my DVR remote.

Ugh… there’s something I need to admit to all of you…

…um, how do I say this…

I entered a contest to name Justin Bieber’s movie.  I didn’t win, and I’m afraid I’m taking it out on the finished product.  Obviously, this won:

Here are my entries:

(I got close on this one.)

Hibbidy-Wah?! Death First, Safety Second

Posted on by sgottahurt

This was featured in a bit on G4’s Attack of the Show, and they only showed a snippet of it.  The entirety is much worse.

According to YouTube user “eiflerb”:

This video was discovered by someone who used to work at a public library several years ago. This has not been edited in any way. This is 100% authentic.

No matter what, it’s fucked up.

Drunken Recollection… Possible Down To Earth Celebs

Posted on by sgottahurt

Everybody imagines at one time or another about how life would be like if they were famous.  Some people fantasize about the money and recognition.  I, on the other hand, wonder which celebrities might be real.  And by real, I mean accessible, or down to Earth.

We were discussing a few names, and these were the guys rated seemingly friendliest:

 

Bill Murray - Jimmy Fallon - Justin Timberlake - George Clooney - David Arquette

 

Other names mentioned: Ashton Kutcher and David Spade.  But would you want to be around them?  David Arquette is barely making the list.  In fact, I’m second-guessing editing him into that picture.

But after all this, you might be wondering:

Why aren’t there any female celebrities?

I guess my answer is… are there any?

Oh, and in closing, the celebrity that seems most down to Earth is this guy:

 

Jesus also associated with women of ill repute.