Hibbidy-Wah?! Can This Be (Pause Like Chandler) Anymore Outdated?!

1992 doesn’t sound that long ago (unless you were born in or after that year of course), but this anti-piracy ad certainly dates the date:

Speaking of outdated, check out this meeting of the old and the new.  The ending before the ending is pretty good, and of course, so is the middle.  If you’ve never heard Leonard Nimoy singing the original version of the song he’s singing (no spoiler), then click here.  Otherwise, enjoy:

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The Silver Lining… Let’s Laugh With Kmart Instead Of At Them

Is this commercial on TV?  I haven’t seen it.  But then again, I do time shift the ship out of my shows.

So could this mark a renaissance for Kmart?  Probably not.  But if we’re in store for a slew of new comedic ads, just maybe they’ll find more of us in store.

But probably not.

InASense, Lost… I Always Feel Bad When This Happens

I regularly watch Conan on TBS mostly out of guilt for not watching him regularly on The Tonight Show before he got shit-canned from NBC.  But that feeling of unease cannot compare to the stomach flip I feel when someone disses Andy Richter, like comedian Nick Thune did during this appearance on the show (it happens at about the 5:30 mark):

What’s wrong with the world?  Why can’t people just be polite?!  It takes minimum time and provides maximum comfort.  If people could only rectify their wrongs– wait, Nick Thune did what?

Click image for what happened next.

Click image for what happened next.

Hateful Find… This Commercial Drives Me Insane In 30 Seconds!

Dear Television,

Please note that I never want to see the following now or ever again:

  • a giant middle-aged man
  • a giant middle-aged man so light on his feet
  • a giant middle-aged man with a weird accent
  • a giant middle-aged man using cell phone apps
  • a giant middle-aged man tap a bell with his foot
  • (NOTE: the wife is okay despite her encouragement)

Who is this ad for, Kayak?  Is that the owner’s parents?

Aarrrrgh!

The Sh– To Just Sh–ty… I Choose “Death By Bus!”

I recently saw this commercial, and it gave me pause…

“Is this the new record scratch?” I wondered.

This meaning suddenly hit by bus.

So I started thinking about where this trend began, and I think I can link it back to The Hit that I think is The Shit.

THE SHIT
MEET JOE BLACK (1998)

Sure, it’s not a bus, but it was shocking – and eventually entertaining?  Most of all, it was first.

THE PINCHLINE
MEAN GIRLS (2004)
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (2008)
GHOST TOWN (2008)

These accidents are used for comedic effect.  What the fuck is wrong with us America?  (See the Ghost Town clip in the montage below.)

THE PLOP DEVICE
STRANGER THAN FICTION (2006)

LOST (2007)

Dramatic tension is high, and these scenes drive the plot, so… why couldn’t the Will Ferrell hit been less real and more ha-ha?

THE FART NOISE (IT’S SO OBVIOUS)
FINAL DESTINATION (2000)

“Woh-woh…” *wet trombone fart noise*

THE TURD VERSION OF THE PLOP DEVICE
FELICITY (1999)
NIP/TUCK (2006)

These really aren’t that interesting, so check out the montage below.

JUST SHITTY
BUBBLE BOY (2001)

Hey look!  Zack Galifianakis!  Just don’t look at the rest of it.

PHANTOM POOPERS
CONTAGION (2011)
DEXTER (2012)

These are too new to be found anywhere, butt they’d probably fall under PLOP DEVICE since one had a contagious kid get smashed and the other had a serial killer get smashed.  I’ll let you guess which one each belonged to.

MONTAGES (there has to be a pun in there somewhere…)

Got it!  MOONTAGES!

Yes Or No, Y’Know? All. Things. Geek.

This 42" tall playset gets a definite YES! from me.

This 42″ tall playset gets a definite YES! from me.

There are plenty of geeky things to get to today.  So let’s start with the big one.

YES!
J.J. Abrams has been confirmed as the director of Star Wars Episode VII.  Be ready for fanboy battles to reach all new levels.  Can the director of Star Trek pull off the switch?  Considering he was raised suckling the hairy teat of George Lucas, I wouldn’t worry.  Plus, this might pave the way for Joss Whedon directing Episode VIII.  (No logic for that statement… only hope and speculation.)   The only downside – a Damon Lindelof rewrite of Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt’s finished script.  Fuck you, LOST!

NO!
Two of my favorite newer shows are getting cancelled!  Ben and Kate and Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 have officially received the ax.  Hopefully they receive a DVD release – I don’t think I’m ax-ing for much.  At least they’re in good company.  Some of my highest recommendations lasted only one or two seasons – Wonderfalls, Pushing Daisies, Freaks & Geeks, Action, Profit, Undeclared, Jericho, and Firefly.  (Veronica Mars, Deadwood, and Arrested Development got three.)  P.S. I’m still waiting for my Sons and Daughters and Warren the Ape DVD’s!

YES!
Two cool video games I’ll buy and never play: LEGO Marvel Super Heroes and Pokémon X and/or Y!

NO! OR MAYBE YES?
Django Unchained toys came out, and that’s a baaaaaad idea.  A good idea would have been buying them, though.  They’re selling for upwards of $500 each (though I’m not sure what they started out at, I’m sure they were under $50).  An entire set went for $6000 on eBay!  Why are my feelings so conflicted right now?!