TV

A Handful Of… Songs About Days Other Than “Friday”

Posted on by sgottahurt

By now, everyone (or at least 21 million people at the time of this posting) have seen Rebecca Black’s Friday.  If not, it’s after the jump below.

It’s inane, mundane, insane lyrics and musical progression made me think of every other song about days of the week.  Here are those that came to mind:

  • Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting) – Sir Elton John
  • Sunday Bloody Sunday – U2
  • Manic Monday – The Bangles

(SIDENOTE: In retrospect, this is barely better than Ms. Black’s song.)

  • Ruby Tuesday – The Rolling Stones

(SIDENOTE: Yes, I am aware that it’s not about the day itself.  Or is it?)

  • Waiting for Wednesday – Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories

(SIDENOTE: The alternate for this one was Digital Underground’s Humpty Dance.  Because it’s hump day, you see.)

  • Understanding in a Car Crash – Thursday

(SIDENOTE: There are no songs about Thursday, so I had to go with the band.  I think Ms. Black really missed an opportunity here.  She could have had the only song about Thursday – even though Thursday’s aren’t as fun-fun-fun – and then the last day of the week could have been left to The Cure’s Friday I’m in Love.)

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Hibbidy-Wah?! Snooki’s Rasslin’?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This. Is. Beyond. Words.

What’s next?

Pauly D in a Baskin Robbins ad?

Finis.

Drunken Recollection… Wait, That Was Her? And What’s Her Deal?

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’ve mentioned it before – I love IFC’s Portlandia.  It’s finished its six-episode run, and will be back some time next year, but one night while drinking, I learned something about one of its guest stars, Aimee Mann.  Here’s a sample of her appearance:

I thought I never heard of her, since I never saw Magnolia or heard her song from it:

But as I said, I thought I never heard of her…

I had no idea the lead singer from ‘Til Tuesday was the same person in Portlandia!

Also, another drunken night, I watched Letterman or Fallon and this performer came on:

Soooo…

I had no idea the lead singer from ‘Til Tuesday was the same person in Portlandia!

InASense, Lost… A Cheese And Crappers Double Whammy

Posted on by sgottahurt

I rarely watch commercials, but these are two recent ones I’ve caught while watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network who know’s what.  One reminded me of an old childhood wish, and the other made me wish I was never born.  I’ll let you figure out which wish is which.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Traffic Light Vs. Perfect Couples

Posted on by sgottahurt

Hey, gather ’round and let me tell you about a mid-season replacement…

Get this.. there are three guys… and they all went to college together… you see, that explains how they became friends… and then they all have significant others to varying degrees… begin ensuing hilarity!

That pretty much sums up the basics of two new shows – NBC’s Perfect Couples and Fox’s Traffic Light.

Light Couples and Perfect Traffic would be awesome.

But the Coinkydinks or Coinkydonks don’t end there…

  • Both feature cast-offs from other sitcoms

Well, this isn’t an uncommon thing, especially in the world of sitcom manufacturing.  There’s a lot of a throw it at the wall and see if breaks through mentality that goes into producing hits.  So let me clarify…

  • Both feature cast-offs from other sitcoms that I like

On Perfect Couples, we get Mary Elizabeth Ellis (Amy/The Waitress) from FX’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
On Traffic Light, you get both David Denman (Mike/Roy) and Nelson Franklin (Adam/Nick the IT Guy) from NBC’s The Office.

BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!
NBC and Fox/FX swapped Actors!

  • Both derive humor from the statuses of each relationship

Well, come to think of it, that might be a bit off as well.  Howzabout…

  • Both attempt humor from the statuses of each relationship

On Perfect Couples, you have the perfect couple, the regular couple, and the crazy couple.
On Traffic Light, you have the red light couple, the yellow light couple, and the green light, um, single guy.

  • Both shows have an Actor! that starred in another show called “Heist”

Sure, one was made in America and the other in Britain, but David Walton (Vance) of Perfect Couples and Kris Marshall (Ethan) of Traffic Light both happened to be in TV shows called Heist.

BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!
Perfect Couples’ Kyle Bornheimer and Hayes MacArthur
(Dave and Rex) were in She’s Out of My League.

  • Oh yeah… both shows have Asian hotties

Olivia Munn (formerly of G4’s Attack of the Show, concurrently of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show) and Liza Lapira (formerly of Fox’s Dollhouse) both portray the better-half of the highest level relationships.  Munn’s Leigh is in the perfect couple; Lapira’s Lisa is in the red light couple.

As Charlie Sheen might say about Olivia Munn, "Winning!" (Sorry Liza...)

BONUS COINKYDINK OR COINKYDONK!
Their characters’ names are Leigh and Lisa.
That’s pretty close…

The Sh– And Just Sh–ty… A Day In The Life Of The Hanks Family

Posted on by sgottahurt

It’s safe to say that Tom Hanks is beloved.  (It’s an easier call than saying that about Grimace.)  But does that extend to his family?  Tough call.  (His wife, Rita Wilson, probably would feel some love.  She’s at least beminusloved.  And maybe son Colin Hanks has some fans…?)

After the Oscars, it was really nice to see Tom Hanks playing up his comedy skills again on the Jimmy Kimmel Live.  For the record, this is filed under The Shit:

Let it be known, Sophie Hanks is not his real daughter.  (She’s played by Actor! Nikki Hahn.)  But Rapper! Chet Haze is his real son:

Guess what this is filed under…

Hibbidy-Wah?! My Mind Is In The Pitts For Sure

Posted on by sgottahurt

This is almost a post I don’t want to do.  It’s not that I don’t want to do it… It’s more that I shouldn’t.

And it’s not even that I shouldn’t… It’s just that, well, how about I stop beating around the bush…

This was not cut out by scissoring.

It’s about the company name up above.

I was recently watching someone playing the Pittsburgh Penguins at home, and my trained eye caught an ad in the Mellon Arena for Trib Total Media.  Who in their right mind would name their company that?  Who wouldn’t stop them and tell them what it’s short for?!  I covered this in one of my earliest posts, and I’m still not comfortable explaining it!  That’s why my lips are sealed!

So I guess that’s why this was a post I didn’t want to do… because I didn’t want it to rub anyone the wrong way.

Drunken Recollection… Evil Grimace

Posted on by sgottahurt

He has McDiabetes.

Okay, all you Super-Sized McFatties out there, are you ready for this?

Wait… that’s kind of the wrong way to start this post.  Kind of like how McDonald’s started Grimace out as an evil, four-armed thief…

He was introduced in 1971, and made only these two appearances as a bad guy.  For whatever reason, he was quickly converted into the purple gumdrop we all know and… are mildly nostalgic about?  But finding out about this, one night while drinking, finally shed some light on a question I’ve long battled:

If Grimace means a sharp contortion of the face expressive of pain, contempt, or disgust, why would they name the lovable oaf that?

Lovable oaf? Really?!

It’s because he started out as a… sharp contortion of the face expressive of pain, contempt, or disgust, I guess.

But I digress.  Anyone out there remember Uncle O’Grimacy?  Because for some reason, I don’t.

But this talk of Shamrock Shakes and St. Patrick’s Day gets me thinking… man, I can’t wait to do more drinking.  And drinking is what lead me to this overall discovery.

It’s the circle of life.  Or the Golden Arches of life.  Have it your way.  Oh wait, that’s the Burger King slogan, but I’m lovin’ it.

In My Brain While Sleeping… Fred Armisen Gives Good Lessons

Posted on by sgottahurt

From the first time I saw Fred Armisen on Saturday Night Live, I knew he was going somewhere.  Between his times spent as topical comedian Nicholas Fehn (this is not from SNL):

As Venezuelan comedian Fericito:

And as Jasper the Parrot (transcript here), he stood out amongst the rest as somebody to watch.

Couple those initial appearances with his bit part in the underrated Eurotrip:

And I became a certified fan.

Now I’m in absolute love with his latest project, Portlandia, so it makes complete sense that I would have a dream about that show.

Essentially, he was portraying this feminist book store owner:

And she was giving a class on how to get comfortable saying the p-word.  You know, the word some women view as vulgar, but is considerably less awful than the c-word.  Okay, that still seems open to interpretation, because it could be prick and cock… I’m talking about pussy, people.  The word pussy.  Sorry I got a little cunty there.

Anyoregon, the class was a three-step process.

STEP 1

Say the word, pussy cat.  Imagine your little Nibs, or Mittens, or Bootsy, nuzzling in your lap.  Imagine your little pussy cat.

STEP 2

Now say the word, pussyfoot.  Imagine your little pussy cat pussyfooting around your tiny apartment.

STEP 3

Now imagine that in the corner of your small apartment there’s a pussy willow plant.  And your pussy cat’s highly allergic to it, but you forgot to put the allergy medication in the tuna fish breakfast you made.  And you tell your pussy cat to stop pussyfooting around your pussy willow.  Your pussy cat doesn’t listen because your words had no power behind them, and pussy cat dies.  If you can’t say pussy, how will you save Bootsy?

THE END

(I’m here all year!)

So, Duh! Pop Quiz… TV Show Diversity Edition

Posted on by sgottahurt

As Seen On TV

For this edition of the So, Duh! Pop Quiz, I’m going to list shows currently running on TV, and list the ratio of main characters that are “regular white folks” to those that are different (this would include other races, sexual persuasions, and capabilities).  The shows examined are:

    a) Community
    b) Glee
    c) Detroit 1-8-7
    d) 30 Rock
    e) The Office

The ratios are as follows:

  1. 9 to 6
  2. 5 to 5
  3. 15 to 4
  4. 7 to 6
  5. 6 to 5

I hope I didn’t miss anybody; I hope I didn’t misrepresent anybody either.  Good luck!

The answers are after the jump. Read More