Whipped Into Shape
Oh, and by the way… this is me self-promoting another side project called I Giffed a Girl. Hey, a sorry from me is more than you’ll ever get from Katy Perry. Or from Shake Weights. But not from Reddi Wip.
Can you call me?
For this edition of the So, Duh! Pop Quiz, I thought I’d go with a nostalgic walk down memory lane in the style of Pop Culture Perfect Storms.
In the days of yore – “pre-TripleDoubleU” – there were only so many ways to get in touch with celebrities. Actually, aside from fan letters and magazines, there was only one truly sorta interactive way to reach them… 900 phone numbers.
This is a test of your memory or pure guessing skills. The corresponding answers in the form of commercials follow after the jump. Good luck!
1) (900) 909-JEFF
3) (900) 909-FRED
4) (900) 909-1133
5) (900) 490-FREAK
6) (900) 660-4LOU
7) (900) 909-5KIDS
8) (900) 909-4300
9) (900) 909-1800
10) (900) 909-MCMC
Ever see your grandma naked?
I could have went with many other options to that image (list after the jump), but I merely mentioned it as a lead in to introduce the website…
Here’s an example:
Not a common image on the site, but one that cracked me up (a true LOL).
Another coolish thing to check out is no doubt inspired by the creepy and awesome Garfield Minus Garfield. It’s called…
Here’s an example:
A common image on the site... especially since new ones haven't been added.
Another site that hasn’t been updated in a while includes this image:
(click the pic for the site)
And then I just love this commercial… particularly the part about tacos:
Should I go big news first? Nah.
Guess what finally got approved by the FAA? (You know, the Federal Aviation Administration – which is not to be confused with the DOE, RAE, MI, SO, LAA, or TI.) Anywhoosh, if your curiosity is piqued, take a peek at the peak of human innovation:
Hrm... I always thought it would use magnets, not wings.
It’s a flying car (source)! Or a small plane that’s car-ish. But whatever… we’re that much closer to text messaging accidents causing roof damage!
So what could be better than a flying car, you might ask? Auto-origami!
(via The Daily What)
I would never call myself a fan of any specific genre because, hey – if it’s good, it’s good. If it’s catchy, it’s catchy. If it’s kitschy, it’s kitschy. This handful of soundtrack “rap” songs remain in my noggin to this very day… mostly filed under the kitschy label.
Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh – Spirit from Ghostbusters 2
Partners in Kryme – Turtle Power from – what else? – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie
MC Hammer – Addams Groove from The Addams Family
Amanda Ingber (?) – Top That! from Teen Witch
This one isn’t really a rap song, but it still gets stuck in my head…
Shampoo – Trouble from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie
This isn’t so much of a Happy Find as it is a Happy Discovery… But wait… I guess a find is a discovery, so never mind that.
Yacht Rock tells the untold stories behind the ignored sub-genre of smooth music that hit the radio waves between 1976 to 1984. Hosted by “Hollywood” Steve Huey, the collection of twelve shorts explains the mysterious origins of as many songs, starting with The Doobie Brothers’ What a Fool Believes:
The remainder of the videos can be found on JD Ryznar’s YouTube Channel, or more conveniently at Channel 101.
Sailing… Takes me away to where I’ve always heard it could be… Just a dream and the wind to carry me…
And soon I will be free…
Diaper Man is one of the scariest thinks to look for on Google Image Search.
Let me begin by saying this: Cracked Magazine might have always been #2 to Mad Magazine when I was still watching Mighty Heroes and Deputy Dawg on Channel 20, but these days, Cracked.com has some of the best comedy lists around.
Having said that, a recent list they presented covered 5 Superpowers We All Had as Babies (According to Science), and it at first made me sad. Look at what we (InASense) lost:
If babies didn’t creep you out already, next time you see one, remind yourself that the little bald-headed mini-human is not too different from an infantile Professor X (kinda mixed with X-Force’s Warpath).
Then I got to thinking… what powers do we get when we get older? Let’s begin the countdown.
5. Enhanced Mobility
Never frowned upon.
We all aspire to be lazy. And I’m not calling old people who use mobile assistance lazy. I’m merely stating that no one gives old people dirty looks for being lazy if they’re riding in a Little Rascal. Because they’re old.
4. Living in the Past
Back in his day, laptops were where kids bent over to get the belt.
Change is a-comin’, and there ain’t no rest for the wicked. Of course, I’m mixing my Metamucils, but my point is this: the future sucks. Now kind of sucks. The best way to escape all of that – remember the good ol’ days. And talk about them constantly.
3. Mind Control
"Oh if I could only have some crumpets to go with my tea. Oh, you can get me some crumpets too? Bless you."
Sure, it might be out of guilt. It might even be out pity. But the elderly have a way of getting young people to do their bidding. And the young person might even get a few dollars for their trouble, but the young person will probably give it back. Mind control!
2. You Get to Say Whatever You Want
Game. Set. Match.
Loose lips used to sink ships. Now loose lips are expected. Be inappropriate. Flirt. Be rude. Be sexist. Hell, be racist. You’re old. All is forgiven.
1. Unlimited Drug Access
"Grams" could have more than one meaning.
Everybody thought it was funny when Grandma said she wanted to get a license for medicinal marijuana. Now everybody’s jealous.
They might not update that often, but these are a few sites i enjoy checking up on from time to time.
Then head on over to Weirdo Toys to find the likes of this!
Once upon a time, also found in my basement.
Then allow me to present Worst Cartoons Ever!
Azula (from "Avatar: The Last Airbender") was picked the best villain after The Joker (from "Batman")... I can't complain about that.
Well if you want comics (and TV and movies), then look no further than Atomic Gadfly!
Currently, there's a very interesting article about Don Glover's bid to play Peter Parker in the new Spider-Man reboot.
The final nerd site I’d like to recommend… this one!
Will Ferrell would be the first to tell you, "Dunking is the last thing I'll try again."
This will be a simple study. I’ll play it as a game of percentages whether a film is good or not, based upon reviews via Rotten Tomatoes. Then I’ll make up some way to decide which is better – to be first… or last?
Let’s start with the “firsts,” first…
Two out of nine films were considered good. That means 22% of titles that include the word “first” are good. One in about five is not a blue ribbon winner.
Maybe this kind of blue ribbon.
Last but not lease, here a the “lasts”…
Nine of seventeen films that have been reviewed (Last Night and The Last Airbender aren’t out yet) were given good reviews. This means that a little more than every other movie using “last” in the title (53% of them) are bound to be good.
So to answer the question nobody was asking but me, my new script called Last of the Firsts has a 75% chance at being good! Or does that mean it has a 125% chance of being bad?
No matter what, it still has to be better than First Daughter…
This is one of the worst posters I've ever seen.
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