Immediately upon hearing the song in this commercial, I liked it:
It’s infectious, it’s about my favorite fast food joint, and it’s… Christmas-y?
The jingling in the background of the “rap” sounds like this to me:
In the early 90’s, I had my musical awakening, if you will. My tastes might not meet the standards of most high-brow music snobs, but those years should be celebrated merely for opening my eyes ears.
Here were some bands that I quickly attached to, and somehow just as easily detached from. Was it a demise in the quality of their music? Did they grow beyond me? Did I grow beyond them? Or did I simply stop caring?
Somebody's Heine was crowding their icebox.
When Weezer hit the music scene waaaay back in 1994, bassist Matt Sharp decided to work on a little side project called The Rentals (he would ultimately leave Rivers Cuomo and gang after the release of their second album, Pinkerton).
So here’s the thing I could never remember, and hopefully will forever remember now that’s it’s transcribed in blog-form…
It might not seem like a big deal to you, the casual reader, especially since I already mentioned the revelation in the first paragraph. But I always remembered the song, Friends of P (which I actually remembered as Friends with P), and I think the similar lyrics in Placebo’s Pure Morning meshed in my mind to cause the perpetual confusion. (I also blame my supposed friend P.)
If you’re friends with P.
Well, then you’re friends with me
If you’re down with P.
Well, then you’re down with me
A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better,
A friend with breasts and all the rest,
A friend who’s dressed in leather
(Click image to see video)
(Click image to - you guessed it - see video)
Without further adieu, and with only one more misused French word, here are some songs I liked at one point, but that don’t really hit the radio playlists anymore. Do I still enjoy them? I don’t really non.
Intel was years ahead of its time... (Happy New Year!)
Sorry for the graphic nature of this post. But it’s reality. And reality is graphic.
Enjoy the start of this new decade with a karaoke song about beer shits…
The beer shits (4x)
“You’ve gone too far this time”
But I’m sleeping on the hard cold tile
A puddle spilled out around me
Good chances it came from my inside
I’ll crawl cross the bathroom floor
There’s no way that I can stand oh oh
Last night I had a hard time deciding
To have one or two beers in my hands oh oh
CHORUS
Budwei-yi-yi-yi-yi-ser goes right through me
Miller Li-yi-yi-yi-ght cuts right through me
Coors Li-yi-yi-yi-yi-ght spills right through me
The beer shits is the morning after, keeping my rear parked
The beer shits is the discharged treasure that can be quite dark
And leaning over the bathtub isn’t that bizarre
Every little thing the beer shits does
Leaves behind another set of skid marks
I’m on the bowl and I want to get off
Butt won’t slow down the flush roundabout
I drank the whole bar watching TV sets
Don’t want to be around when this gets out
CHORUS
Oh the beer shits what a game I’m playing with my innards
The beer shits is the discharged treasure that can be quite dark
And leaning over the bathtub isn’t that bizarre
Every little thing the beer shits does
Leaves behind another set of skid marks
It’s an end-of-the-year-decade evaluation of the year decade that’s come before. Long story short – there was nothing new.
The only things left to hit the mainstream were the very things that were once thought taboo, which explains Jenna Jameson’s widespread fame (no pun intended), the common knowledge of cougars and MILF‘s, and the over-sexualization of the underaged (i.e. countdown-to-age-eighteen clocks for the Olson Twins, Hayden Panettiere, Miley Cyrus, etc).
"If you like it, then you know it's got a ring to it..."
Gone are the days of truly independent filmmaking. (And BTW, I didn’t ask for 3D films to be brought back.) Hip-hop and rap break down barriers no more. Television turned game shows into reality programming, but did little else except compartmentalize audiences between channels. Everything has become corporatized to the point of homogenization.
“So what have the Aughts wrought us?”
Outside of the birth of a new medium boom of the Internet (known as the ol’ TripleDoubleU ’round hyeh), and the boon that was social networking (YouTube, Facebook, Friendster, et. al.), the web just offers another outlet for pre-existing formats.
So what rose from the ashes of the Y2K bug? One thing…
Although it technically was first heard in 1998, when Cher’s Believe* was torturing me via my alarm clock, while my face was smeared in a puddle of chunky pink Marguerita upchuck on my tiled bathroom floor (true story), it wasn’t until this decade that it took a foothold on almost everything on pop radio (list here).
She suffers from a rare case of "moonstruck."
From Faith Hill’s The Way You Love Me in 2000 all the way up to (though not including) Jay Z’s D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune), the 00’s could be remembered as the Aughto-Tune Decade (clever!), although outta-tune, auto-crooner Kanye West would probably like to think the decade belonged solely to him.
She suffers from a lack of attention.
My Prediction for the 10’s
Since Lady Gaga is the Cher of now, and IMHO she’s actually quite talented… and not to say Cher wasn’t talented… I guess what I’m saying is… keep an eye on her. She might set the next trend. Or not. Who do I look like, Phil Spector? (Don’t answer that.)
(SIDENOTE: I’m secretly rooting for Taylor Swift and her aw-shucksness to put the societal downward spiral on hold.)
*Another early auto-tuner was Kid Rock’s Only God Knows Why (1998). And it’s true – only God knows why Kid Rock hooked up with Pamela Anderson after finding out she had Hepatitis C. Perhaps he confused it with the vitamin…
How this song is a hit is beyond me.
When I first heard Miley Cyrus’ Party in the U.S.A. amidst her infamous stripper pole ice cream cart incident at the Teen Choice Awards (the TripleDoubleU was all a-Twitter), it did not make an impression in the least. In fact, had the song not gotten so much radio play, I would not have backtracked to find out that it was this song she writhed to.
Fast-forward to today. Damn, does that song get stuck in your head. It’s a classic earworm cocktail: lift a few themes from other songs, drop in a couple famous names, mention “partying” in a patriotic manner, and sprinkle with auto-tuning. Voila! A hit!
Before getting into the full monty with this song, I’d like to present a testimony to the ditty’s power over lyrics. Here in Detroit, we have an excellent alternative (Canadian) rock station called 89x. Everyday at 7pm, they have two songs battle it out for The People’s Choice. The current and reigning winner:
"The Fold" is from Chicago... "the bends" is from surfacing too fast.
Wanna hear their song?
That’s a tasty synth track.
So onto the lyrics…
I hopped off the plane at L.A.X.
With a dream and my cardigan
Welcome to the land of fame excess,
Am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab,
Here I am for the first time
Look to the right and I see the Hollywood sign
This is all so crazy
Everybody seems so famous
My tummy’s turnin’ and I’m feelin’ kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I’m nervous,
That’s when the taxi man turned on the radio
And a Jay Z song was on
Remind you of anyone else?
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought ‘Now forget it’ – ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’
It’s not exactly the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but it’s certainly reminiscent. Oh. And about that Jay Z song? Miley’s never heard any song by HOVA, because she did not write the song. Jessica “Jessie” Cornish did, and BONUS! She’s British (and can sing circles around Miley, btw).
Back to the chorus:
So I put my hands up
They’re playing my song,
And the butterflies fly away
I’m noddin’ my head like yeah
I’m movin’ my hips like yeah
Mya, do you have anything you’d like to say… oh, I don’t know… how about, your love is like… wo? The remainder is a repetition of the first part, just with different words.
I guess the biggest problem I have with the song is the cloying patriotism. When Bruce Springsteen sang about how he was Born in the U.S.A., I believed him. Okay, it’s probably not fair to compare the Boss‘ song about disenfranchised American soldiers to Hannah Montana’s tune about not wearing stilettos because she “never got the memo.” But his heart was in his throat when he sang that song. Dollar signs were in Billy Ray’s eyes when she sang hers.
(SIDENOTE: Try on Kesha’s Tick Tock – I’m sorry – Ke$ha’s Tik Tok as an alternative to Party in the U.S.A. Most of the same earworm ingredients are there:
Voila! A hit!)
Just sit right back and y’all hear a tale…
"Go on... I'm listening... or should I say, play on?"
…about a woman who had a dream…
"Tis true. I did dream a dream. And I sang what I sing. Plus I ate what I eat."
…that this strange creature came from another world…
"I am here for only one thing - your entertainment. Possibly via my _____."*
…and there was this cop that was trying to stop the blue haired extra-terrestrial,
but he feared he was starting to feel… something more.
"Is it crazy to think... that I might be... in love? And also, don't I kind of look like Michael J. Fox in this picture?""
*The tale of course for adults, and therefore rated…
"Isn't it weird almost everyone has a hand or two on their face?"
This past weekend marked the adorable debut of Taylor Swift as a certifiable triple-threat (singer, songwriter, and Actor!) on Saturday Night Live. (It’s the singer/songwriter part that makes this a valid Musical Musing. Click here to hear the funny – and honest – song she wrote for her monologue.)
Overall, I think she did great. And I’ll admit – I may be biased. (Proof. More proof.) But given the material they wrote for her, you can’t deny that she has talent.
By far, this Digital Short took the strawberry cake. (And it’s all over the web already… late start on my part.) Check how her impression of Kristen Stewart stacks up by watching both videos below. If you want to see the entire SNL episode, you’re a dummy for missing it live you must have a life on Saturday nights head on over to Hulu.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Happy Find… Man Up Your Girly Boy This Halloween
Courtesy of the Onion News Network comes this gem. What I like best is the part where they’re mean to the kids…
In My Brain While Sleeping… A Costume I Never Would Have Thought Of While Awake
Blah blah blah subconscious something something weird dream… I met a man wearing this costume and when I inquired about it, he pulled granite from his pocket, placed it on the last stair and said:
"I'm Rock Bottom."
Drunken Recollection… Two Gorillas Are Better Than One
My cousin Steve and I have matching costumes. We debuted them last week at my brother’s party. It was a blast. The next day, I had another party to attend, but I opted to go as Hipster Jesus. Another gorilla was there, and my heart broke a little…
Musical Musings… How Do You Kill The Gill Man?
Is this a good song? No. But does the Monster Mash really deserve being the only Halloween song? (Not counting Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, of course.)
(Lyrics available after the jump)
Awful Battle… Worst Halloween Costumes
Take your pick of this litter. And by litter, I mean trash. Not like litter of puppies or litter of kittens. (BTW, they all win the Awful Battle.
InASense, Lost… This Sex Toy Bites
Ever hear of the Fleshlight? Well here’s the Succu-Dry. And it blows.
Do Not Vant
Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Did PB Max Get “Discontinued” For Peanut Butter Twix?
PB Max... PB Twix... hmm...
I loved PB Max almost instantly when it was released in 1990. It was the companion candy to the caramel Twix bars I’d eat everyday. (There was a 5¢ mail-in rebate deal on each wrapper, so I binged one summer, sent them all in, and received a $5 check 6-8 weeks later. You can do the math.)
Anysweettooth, seemingly as quickly as the candy burst on the scene, by th mid-90’s, it was gone. A couple more years passed and all-of-the-sudden there was a Peanut Butter Twix bar (and the original became Caramel Twix with a capital-C, as you candy C see).
There were claims that the PB Max didn’t make it because the Mars family hated peanut butter. But lo and behold, they eventually made and continue to make the spin-off to their double-cookie-bar-covered-in-something-coated-in-chocolate classic.
Hibbidy-Wah?! What’s Wrong With This Kid?
The Shit To Just Shitty… The Adventure Of It All
Whatever happened to all the razor blades in apples and the kidnappings? The night’s supposed to be scary for kids. It’s like a PG-13 horror film these days.
Worth 1002 Words… My Old Halloween Costume Edition
Boxing Match
(lyrics to Halloween Survival Guide, you know, in case your ears aren’t working)
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 