Hibbidy-Wah?! This. Is. The. Future. (Hopefully. Not.)
I think these kids are doing it wrong.
You may ask:
What are they doing wrong?
My answer:
Everything.
Music
In Defense Of… Stick Figure Family Window Decals
This might be my most difficult In Defense Of yet. Out of everything I’ve defended, I’ve found a silver lining. But these things – I hate these things:
Revenge of the Son of the "Baby On Board" Signs, Part 2
And that’s just what it is, right? It’s the latest parental fad, like those old Baby on Board signs:
Baby, I'm Bored...
They’re pointless and annoying. All this coming from the guy that’s defended the dislikes of Justin Beiber!
So where do I begin?
Really?
They’re pointless.
So I’m going to have to dig deep within and point out a point.
Got it!
They’re ripe for comedy. Check out this (possibly tasteless) video:
If people used these for comedic purposes rather than boastful, we might see the likes of this:
Could be a single lady's possible future...
Or maybe celebrities could get in on the trend to kill it:
Neil Patrick Harris' Family
Octomom (less the rest of her brood) or Kate Gosselin
Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus
I fear I’ve failed this In Defense Of, and this is what I should get:
JusWondering… Why Did Rappers Pick Those Names?
What do these two items have in common?
They are the very items that Tracy Marrow and O’Shea Jackson chose to name themselves after.
"We like our beverages very cold!"
Everyone knows what Ice-T and Ice Cube were like back-in-the-day, and what they are like now-in-the-day.
Ice-T is James Bonding; Ice Cube is family bonding.
I just think it’s strange that in the earliest stages of their careers, they chose to name themselves after the above items.
Or in Ice-T's case, maybe this guy.
I was thinking if they wanted to there are plenty of other ice names they could have went with:
- Ice Corpse
- Ice Knife
- Ice Bullet
- Ice Rink
Okay, maybe they are all that great, but what would you think of this music group:
Neo-POP-litan!
Musical Musings… Save Me, Glory Days
My original post title went through a few quick revisions. This one almost made the cut (but was cut for being questionable):
Glory Trains
Anymaxweinberg, here we meet again. It’s another liberal borrowing claim, this time against Pat Monahan and his cronies.
Tell me what you think about the opening of Train’s latest (probable) hit, Save Me, San Francisco:
It sounds like the softer guitar version of the opening to Bruce Springsteen’s Glory Days (starts at 38 second mark):
Okay, so maybe the first two noted are transcribed, or one guitar strum is skipped, but bounce back and forth between the songs. Ignore the drum beats and listen to the guitar.
I’m calling it. Are you?
————————————————————————————————————————
Speaking of the glory days saving me, why don’t they use effects like the ones in these old songs anymore?
- The opening chimes from Hall & Oates’ I Can’t Go For That:
- The drumbeat breakdown in New Edition’s If It Isn’t Love (starts at 2:49 minute mark):
A Handful Of… Not-So-Inventive Musicians
When you’re a writer of any type (INSERT TYPEWRITER JOKE HERE), your purpose is – or should be – to bring something new into this world. I’ve sort of made it my mission to call out “artists” that liberally borrow from other “artists,” but that’s not what I’m talking about this time. (I will be discussing it again in my next post, though.)
No this is about something else… Not-So-Inventive Musicians, namely in the naming department. It’s one of those which came first scenarios, except this one’s about a chicken and a chicken (or if you prefer, an egg and an egg).
When I was starting my band experiment, we threw out and tossed out many names. These are those that stuck for a time:
KAGAL (Kermit and Grover are Lovers)
Monkey Spank Monkey Do (hmm… that sounds familiar…)
oddcookie
Never at anytime did we have any song called (or involving) KAGAL, Monkey Spank Monkey Do, nor oddcookie. With these bands, that wasn’t the case:
- Big Country’s In a Big Country
- Human League’s Human
- Living in a Box’s Living in a Box
- Snoop Dogg’s Snoop Dogg
- Spacehog’s Spacehog
- Talk Talk’s Talk Talk
Talk
- Meredith Brooks’ Bitch
Why won’t you return my calls?! And Snookers was our dog, not yours!
(These of course aren’t the only ones… more can be found here and here.)
Hibbidy-Wah?! Sibling Torture And You!
One is quick enough and to the point, while the other is a meatball sandwich-sized train wreck. Watch them entirely for the full-effect of Hibbidy-Wah?!
So which shall I begin with…?
You lose:
Palette cleanser:
Further torture:
Drunken Recollection… Boozed Moodiness
This is a fucking shitty song.
But it’s perfect.
When drunk.
And it’s raining.
With certain things clouding my mind.
Which could just be the beer.
And maybe nostalgia.
Probably beer.
Musical Musings… I Might Have Isolated The Source
Let me begin by saying:
Me thinks me loves me the 2012 Ford Focus.*
It’s a nice ride and the technology inside is pretty cool. That having been said, courtesy of the new technology, I’ve been able to jump around on my iPod a helluva lot easier. This lead me to a discovery I wasn’t ready for.
Ever since John Cusack highlighted my lovelorn condition in High Fidelity, I’ve wondered what the alpha song was that triggered it. There had to be a source, and I believed I may have found it.
For those unfamiliar with the quote, here it is (don’t say I never do anything nice):
What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
Drum roll please. The answer should have been obvious all along. Maybe it’s the desert heat I’m currently in, or the new car smell of the rental…
Introducing the potential birth of the bane of my pitiful existence…
Doing It All For My Baby by Huey Lewis and The News:
*Notice I couldn’t say “I love” even in regard to an inanimate object… Wait, is a car really an inanimate object?
Drunken Recollection… To Fight A Zombie
The infamous they say there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Which is gross. The infamous they should really say:
There’s more than one way to fight a zombie.
While drinking, many options were discussed. It was basically like that scene in Pulp Fiction when Bruce Willis decides what tool of destruction to unleash on Zed. From bat to chainsaw to sword to Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man, we ran the gamut.
But then I realized I would want to use the same devices on zombies that I would on idiots in this country:
A lightsaber and a jetpack
Also, it should be mentioned that this same night, I met a “local ballerina” that looked just like this:
"Would you like a dance? Or a hand up your ---?"
Musical Musings… Theory Of A Social Deadman Distortion
Here’s a definition for ya folks:
lib•er•al bor•row•ing /ˈlib(ə)rəl ˈbärō-iNG/
1. The act by which an “artist” uses another artist’s work as a part of their own (usually musicians)
2. Stealing
I’ve written about this subject for more than several occasions, and it still intrigues me how often it occurs. What’s great about this latest discovery is it might restore some of my street cred, since usually the findings are about Katy Perry, Pink, or Avril Lavigne.
Is it just me, or does Theory of a Deadman’s Lowlife sound a shit-ton like Social Distortion’s Ball and Chain (at least it’s verses)? Is it an homage? Do they claim it’s a sequel? Or is it liberal borrowing in full effect?
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 