A Handful Of… Companies That Could Go Back To The Drawing Board

This might be two handfuls worth of companies that could use some help in their advertising departments, but nonetheless – they should rethink their business plans.

1) Toyota has had some issues with vehicles not stopping.  Vehicles not stopping has led to some… let’s just say, people going to heaven.  Heaven is in the clouds last time I checked:

2) Happy’s Pizza is a chain here in Detroit.  “Happy” looks a bit too happy in their ad.  So is that a hot pizza in his hands, or is it a… (should I beat around the bush, or should I be blunt?)

3) Universal Technical Institute is what it is.  UTI.edu is not.

4) This product no longer exists for a reason:

5) First Check Home Drug Test sounds like a serious product.  The radio commercial doesn’t.

6) Eloquence is not my strong suit, so check out Sociological Images’ take on this toy:

7) Does anyone know what Delsym is for without checking?

8) Does anyone even eat at Max and Erma’s?

9) Should a child’s snack be named Gushers?  Or am I wrong for asking that?

10) ‘Nuff said:

Hibbidy-Wah?! This Is Barely A Spoof

I recently learned you’re not supposed to eat more than 2000 calories a day.  Apparently, this is why there has been all the hoo-hah about calories for yearrrrssss

The only reason I bring this up is to illustrate the decreasing speed of my learning curve.  I already brought up a Saturday Night Live skit recently, but the mere fact that I was out of the loop (again!) is killing me!

I thought this fake commercial was inspired by the scare-tactic style of old Brinks Security commercials.  I thought Broadview Security was a clever, mock name (because they view broads, you see).  Check it out here:

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more about “Hibbidy-Wah?! This Is Barely A Spoof“, posted with vodpod

Imagine my surprise when this was revealed to me (man, AJ is an a-hole!):

For other unintentionally funny scares, click each of the names below (FYI – the above vid is entitled “The House Party”… because he was a kid looking for play, I guess):

“The Ex”“First Date”“Backyard”“Treadmill”“New Home”“Wrong Door”

    So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Musician Names As Things Edition

    (Not So) Artistic Representation

    This edition is a free-for-all.  Mostly because the letters and numbers deal-i-o gets to be a bit much.

    Basically, you’re going to look at this giant JPG and name which artist is represented by each image.  It will be their last name, or their entire name, but it’s right there in the picture.  Some are super easy; some are obscure; some are pushing it.

    They are all solo artists, at one point or another.  As one parting example, the above graphic is of POP (if you’re in the Midwest, at least)…  POP = IGGY POP…  Enjoy!

    (Answers after the jump) Read More

    Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? This Is No Longer A Coinkydink, Right?

    I once drunkenly questioned the intentions of a skit on Saturday Night Live, and wondered whether the bit was spoofing the Insane Clown Posse or not.

    This occurred on the last episode hosted by Ryan Phillippe, and I can’t stop laughing about it:

    Vodpod videos no longer available.

    Then I found out about this, and I can’t stop laughing about it more:

    My Drunken Recollection has been proven, right?  I wish I had seen these videos in the opposite order, but oh well.  Just add it to the list of magical mysteries, under blankets and magnets…

    In My Brain While Sleeping… Taylor Swift Returns To SNL (And I Suggest A Skit!)

    (I had this dream before I recently revisited New York.  That trip will be an upcoming tale I’m sure you will care less about than this trip.  You most likely don’t even care about this thing that happened In My Brain While Sleeping, and I’ve already lost you.  Have I lost you?  No…?  I guess if I lost you before reading this, you would have no idea I even cared that you were gone.  Because I do.  It helps my hit counter.  But I guess it counts as a hit whether you keep reading or not, so moving on…)

    *Le sigh*

    In this dream, singer (and now Actor!) Taylor Swift was making her second appearance on Saturday Night Live.

    I was in the audience and a participant of the Try Out as a Comedy Writer Program.

    I suggested a skit, and the producers ran with it.

    The concept was this: Swift was trying to sell a baby on the black market to none other than Kristen Wiig (she’s like in every skit).

    The lovely chanteuse messed up line the punchline about taking the baby for one million dollars, instead of selling.

    Wiig’s character finally agrees, and Swift hands the baby over.  But the catch is that the infant has a tail (like that one baby in India), but it’s more like a boa.

    A little bit of this mixed with a little bit of that...

    I ended up meeting the baby later and it could talk, à la Baby Herman from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

    That catch was he had a beard, à la Chippy from Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show Great Job!

    A little bit of this mixed with a little bit of that...

    WTF is wrong with my subconscious?

    InASense, Lost… Disney Animators Were Cel Outs

    How much is homage and how much is tracing?

    It reminds me of this exchange from Chasing Amy:

    Awesome Battle… Final Foursome Revealed!

    Here it is!  Your ultimate Final Foursome!  (For previous rounds, start here.)

    The live-action version:

    Michelangelo! Eric Cartman! Ray Stantz! Peter Venkman!

    The animated version:

    The action figure version:

    As with other sports brackets, here are the results… plus other stats!

    • HEAD HONCHO: Peter Venkman 21 – Stan Marsh 5
    • SECOND BANANA: Ray Stantz 14 – Raphael 9
    • ROUND OUT: Eric Cartman 13 – B.A. Baracus 11
    • WILD CARD: Michelangelo 12 – Toad 11

    (More after the jump) Read More

    Musical Musings… America’s Next Top American Idol Judge!

    This idea simply popped in my head, just like how the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man did in Ray Stantz’s.

    With Simon Cowell leaving American Idol to host his own version of American Idol called X-Factor, there has been a buzz around the TripleDoubleU about his replacement.  I say look no further than one of Fox Network’s early birds (and The Simpsons surrogate mother), Tracey Ullman.

    I thought this was funny and actually LOL'd. 4RLZ.

    The reasoning?

    • She could take on the roll of two judges – Cowell and Ellen DeGeneres.  Cowell for the British honesty; DeGeneres for the comedy.
    • She’s been in the music business à la Randy Jackson, Kara DioGuardi, and in particular – Paula Abdul.

    I searched to see if any others had thought this, and yes – there was one site.  But I think this needs to happy.

    Or Ricky Gervais.  For the very same reasons… Okay, I’d prefer Gervais, but in a pinch, Ullman will do.

    He LOL'd, 2. 4RLZ.

    JusWondering… Are These Titles Titillating Or Am I A Perve?

    I think what follows JusWondering above is all the introduction this gallery needs…

    I also JusWonder how many hits the tags below will garner…

    Drunken Recollection… A Toilet Paper Roll’s Worth Of Ideas

    Ever hear about fortress games?  Me neither.  But my friend Jay has recently become obsessed with them.  Our other friend has mocked him for purchasing so many different versions of the same game, but it should be noted that he owns dozens of first person shooters.  Touché.  (Or more appropriately, too lame.)

    Any360, apparently I was familiar with fortress games, and in fact owned one myself:

    Plants Vs. Zombies - A Battle for My Heart

    It’s a fun game.  And a time drainer.  The concept is simple – build up your fortress to defend against invaders.  In the case of Plants Vs. Zombies, you plant vegetation to battle the living dead approaching your home.

    Well prior to realizing what a fortress game was, I had Jay explain them to me.  He told me it was a single-player game, and I told him it’d be better as a multi-player.  Then voilá!  That should be a game!

    A game where you get to be both the plants AND the zombies!  Each player would setup their zombie line of attack prior to beginning, and then as the war waged on, you’d arrange your plants!  For example.  Obviously it could be anything in the _____ vs. _____ situation.

    Next item!  A new website!

    Is any of that answer in English?

    Yes, the site would be based on the above question:

    uglychicksthatthinktheyrehot.com

    I mentioned this idea at a Detroit Tiger’s game (hence the reason for the other mindedness), and a woman seated next to me that was attractive also liked the idea.

    Next item! Exploding bats!

    How awesome would it be if baseball bats exploded after every hit?

    Answer: Very.