All I Want For Christmas Is… This!
I feel fuzzy that this one is a no-brainer. It’s available from ThinkGeek and…
"Tauntauns roasting on an open fire..."
Awww… gawdammit! It’s the stupid Wampa Rug that’s for sale…
Film
Drunken Recollection… If The Rolling Stones Never Existed
It’s not like I’m a huge fan of The Beatles and think their shit doesn’t stink (a dung Beatle, if you will), but you cannot deny the fact that they have had a major impact on pop culture.
On the other hand, one night over more than a few brews, I decided that The Rolling Stones could have “not” existed, and we wouldn’t be missing much.
Sure, this Saturday Night Live skit would have never existed:
And there would have been no Paint It Black for The Doors to cover. Wait, the version I thought was Jim Morrison and crew was Mick Jagger and crew?
Well, there would have been no Wild Horses for The Sundays to cover at least (and to be honest, we probably could have lived without this one):
And lastly, who would Johnny Depp have based his Captain Jack Sparrow on other than Keith Richards?
This is the cleanest they've EVER looked.
My list of other rockers he could have based the pirate on:
- John Lennon (quiet, contemplative, bespectacled)
- Paul McCartney (smarmy, polite, vegetarian)
- Ringo Starr (drummer)
- Meat Loaf (this could have really worked)
Bitch Tits himself.
And with that, the argument discussion ended.
After all was said and done, I really wanted to hear this song for some reason, and did you know the B-52’s Love Shack lyric
Tin roof – rusted!
means pregnant, and not on her period? You’re welcome.
In My Brain While Sleeping… The Reason Why Disney Bought Marvel Comics
I don’t know why I ever feel compelled to proclaim how strange a dream is when I’m revealing it either way.
One handed drum roll please:
It became apparently clear to me in My Brain While Sleeping why The Walt Disney Company gobbled up Marvel Comics (aside from the fact they wanted another marketing outlet comparable to Time Warner’s hold on DC Comics, as well as supplying the much-needed financial backing a major corporation could give the flailing superhero imprint… whew).
The entire reason could be summed up in this crappily made picture:
(Not So) Artistic Representation
You see, upon leaving Disney/ABC’s Home Improvement, best child star Jonathan Taylor Thomas left to star in the unreleased film, Machine Boy. Realizing a bit too late into production that they had an Iron Man ripoff on their hands (and a clunker to boot – puns intended), Disney shelved the movie fearing lawsuits of copyright infringement. But worry no more! As soon as they could, the little old lady that swallowed the (Mickey) mouse swallowed the spider (man), and you heard it here first:
WALT DISNEY and MARVEL COMICS proudly present
MACHINE BOY
JUNE 2011
Worth 1002 Words… Thank You For Being A Jedi Edition
Happy Find… Sweded Mutant Ninja Turtles
The concept of “Sweding a film” may no longer be in vogue, much like saying whether or not something is in vogue, but I love what these guys have done.
It’s pretty self-explanatory.
It’s awesome.
It’s a live-action version of the intro to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon:
So, Duh! Pop Quiz… Computers In Movies Edition
How this made it to market I'll never know...
I don’t want to call this one a “phone-in”… perhaps it could be called a “dial-up”…
I found this site Access Main Computer File that collected screen caps from many flicks that contained computer displays, so I stole five, gave them credit for it, and made a So, Duh! Pop Quiz.
See if you can guess which cinematic masterpiece these masterpc‘s came from.
If you need an example, here’s one:
This is from Witches of Eastwick, right?
Anyweblog, let’s begin.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
(Answers after the jump) Read More
Hibbidy-Wah?! No Effing Norway!
(UPDATE: VIDEO FIXED!)
I rubbed my eyes with lemon juice. I squinted with toothpicks under my lids. I snorted some Habanero sauce. Salt was sprinkled onto my optical orbs, and nothing of what I had witnessed made any sense.
At first glance, you might mistake this video for an Insane Clown Posse one, based solely upon its production value, and you’d be right, except for the “clown” and “posse” part. Maybe “clown” is relevant.
This is a commercial for the Norwegian show called Golden Times. The way I wrote that sentence makes it sound like you should recognize it, so since you wouldn’t, I share it’s given name: Gylne Tider. Apropos of nothing, that’s an anagram for
DETER LYING
of which I am with these truths. So sit back, and
GENTLY RIDE
this strange ride on the TripleDoubleU that’s
LEGIT NERDY.
Without any further introduction, enjoy a slew (there has never been a better time to use this word) of random celebrities from the 80’s (and some 90’s) singing The Beatles’ Let It Be. By my guesstimation, I would venture to, um, guess that this was what probably what killed Leslie Nielson, you Norwegian bastards!
(SIDENOTE: As you watch, you’ll find yourself thinking the cast can’t get any weirder, and it always does. Also take note of what role each Actor! is recognized for. It adds even more fun.)
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In My Brain While Sleeping… Austin Powers In Maybe Say Maybe Again
This was one of those dreams that occurred between snoozes, so adjustments developed that expanded on the concept that follows. I contemplated not posting this on the site because I like the idea quite a bit, but then I realized – I’m not a Hollywood insider, and I’d have no way to get this into the proper hands (if it was even in script form).
Anysphinctersayswhat, here’s the premise to what began as simply Austin Powers 4: Agent Origin, and evolved into… well, here’s the poster:
(Not So) Artistic Representation
Following the events of Goldmember, upon discovering that Austin Powers and Dr. Evil were brothers, the pair hop into the time machine to explore where everything went wrong between them. This leads them to the post-World Wars 40’s.
Of course, Justin Timberlake would play the younger version of Michael Caine’s Nigel Powers, and they’d uncover the origin of Austin’s “Mojo.”
They quickly learn that it was the freshly evil Scott Evil (Seth Green) that raised Dr. Evil to be evil. He left the present time as soon as they did to unleash his ultimate evil plan of pitting the brothers against each other.
So as they seek to change the past, they find themselves time travelling to the 50’s (where Scott picks up his new sidekick, the super dog and Russian ex-patriot, Laika), and eventually the 80’s to when Scott was born.
Of course everything works well, but the specifics… well, I didn’t dream those, and until Hollywood comes calling, I ain’t saying. Maybe.
InASense, Lost… (Racist) Kids These Days
If you’ve ever seen the film version of the beloved comic strip Marmaduke, I’m sorry then you’re well aware of all the obvious anti-white sentiment sprinkled throughout.
Oh, you didn’t notice it? Then I’ll let Andrew of The Andrew Show enlighten you, emphasis on lighten, with a dash of a speech impediment:
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(In case the video doesn't work, click the Videogum link below)
(video via Videogum)
To clean your palette, howzabout some Baby Inception:
A Handful Of… Videos You Must See If You Haven’t, Plus One Comic
Today’s specials include:
- A CROONING MUSTACHED BABY
- MORE KAZAAM REFERENCES THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT
- ANIMALS EVOLVING
(Here’s the original if that one gets taken down.)
- And finally, THE TRUTH, according to Pizza Stew:
monkeyBLOG monkeyDO 