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Hibbidy-Wah?! Wait, I Know That Zombie!

Posted on May 24, 2011 by sgottahurt

Having grown up filming all kinds of skits on VHS, it’s nice to finally see my brother filmed in HD.

(SIDENOTE: I believe it’s his finest acting to date*.)

*He’s the slow doorbell ringing zombie.

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Attached Friends With No Benefit Strings

Posted on May 23, 2011 by sgottahurt

So we’ve already seen this:

Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher

And we’re about to see this:

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis

And we used to see this:

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis

And we want to see more of this:

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis

But please… never this again:

Ashton Kutcher and Justin Timberlake

Awesome Battle… It’s Fright Night Fight Night!

Posted on May 22, 2011 by sgottahurt

Who doesn’t love the classics?

Who doesn’t love remakes?

Well, typically I never look forward to remakes, but their have been some decent ones through the years. One of my personal favorites is Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead. He did all right by George Romero’s original, which is probably his best zombie film to date. I’m not saying would actually date it… but I’d probably fool around.

Anyreboot, Fright Night is an 80’s classic you may or may not be familiar with, so here’s its preview:

I’ve always had a soft spot for the film, and here are the reasons why:

It’s cheesy good. For comparison, what’s cheesy bad? Actually, I think anything cheesy is good because it’s cheesy, especially if it was made in the 80’s.
It’s self-aware. It knows that it’s a send up of schlocky horror films, hence RoddyMcDowall’s character…
…Peter Vincent: Vampire Hunter. Think Vincent Price in the style of local horror film TV hosts.
Writer/Director Tom Holland. He elevates the Rear Window rip-off into celebratory genre-crossing territory, like Shaun of the Dead would do about two decades later. Plus, he also wrote Cloak & Dagger – one of my all time faves.
Marcy D’Arcy, Herman’s Head, and Jack Skellington. Well, the Actors! that would go onto play those roles round out the cast.

So you would think the thought of a remake would set me off on a rampage, and it might have had I heard of it before seeing this preview:

Okay, the CGI bothers me, but the cast is actually pretty good:

Colin Ferrell – you know who he is
Anton Yelchin – Chekov in the new Star Trek; Kyle Reese in Terminator Salvation; Charlie Bartlett
Toni Collette – the mom in Sixth Sense, About a Boy, and Little Miss Sunshine; United States of Tara
Christopher Mintz-Plasse – McLovin in Superbad; Red Mist in Kick-Ass
David Tennant – Dr. Who; somebody in one of the Harry Potter films

Can the story stand the test of time… and technology… and modern sensibilities… and directors? We’ll see in August.

The Sh–? Just Sh–ty… 2WordStory

Posted on May 20, 2011 by sgottahurt

There’s some movement in the Detroit area called 2WordStory. Here’s the homepage from their website:

Seriously? Seriously.

Basically, it’s a church thing. The one-word question is before you find The Big Guy or Gal ~~or Aliens~~ Upstairs, and the second word is the answer after you find Him or Her ~~or Them~~.

I’d prefer to use it in other ways, such as in, oh let’s just say, blog commentary:

JusWondering… What Other Dances Could Be Named After Characters?

Posted on May 18, 2011 by sgottahurt

I’ve already written about once dance move named after someone before (The Dougie, named after Doug E. Fresh, RIP M-Bone), so why not do it again?

This time it’s about another dance named after a character (c’mon, Doug E. Fresh isn’t his real name). This time it’s Movin’ Like Berney, after the eponymous Weekend at Bernie’s:

I had not much more to write about this, until I realized there are other dances named after characters. There’s the Roger Rabbit, the Running Man, the Cabbage Patch (Kids), and Batman (who could forget the Prince’s Batdance no matter how hard you try?)…

But who else should have their own dance?

Forrest Gump?

E.T.?

Got it… Nicolas Cage (he’s a character, for sure)…

Drunken Recollection… Alcohol + Confusion = Alconfusion

Posted on May 17, 2011 by sgottahurt

It seems like a lot of Drunken Recollections are about mix-ups, so why not create a term for it:

ALCONFUSION

This post is about a pair of moments of alconfusion… one on my behalf, one on behalf of another.

My Alconfusion

While in Kentucky for the derby, I was at the bar and somebody was talking about Rachel Nichols and her possible hook-ups with most of the NFL or NBA or whatever… that’s neither here nor there. They were talking about the sportscaster from ESPN:

Rachel Nichols, daughter of director Mike Nichols and her mother

I thought they were talking about this Rachel Nichols:

Except she's not normally green...

Hopefully this will help:

Yo Joe, indeed.

So my alconfusion was me thinking they were speaking ill of actress Rachel Nichols when they weren’t. They were just speaking ill of the sportscaster I don’t ~~find attractive~~ know.

Another’s Alconfusion

I was going to write about Lupe Fiasco’s The Show Goes On a while back because it liberally borrows from Modest Mouse’s Float On, but the song’s creators acknowledged that at the time of release, so I didn’t. But I get to write about it today.

While this tune played at the bar, a friend asked who performed this Float On rip-off. I answered correctly, but what she thought I said cracked me up.

I replied:

Lupe Fiasco

She heard:

Beefy Asshole

In My Brain While Sleeping… Sudden Impact! The (Non-Dirty Harry) Movie

Posted on May 15, 2011 by sgottahurt

I wish this dream was a bit more straightforward, à la Clint Eastwood’s fourth Dirty Harry movie, Sudden Impact, but it’s not. I awakened from it, distinctly remembering the name of the movie-in-my-mind was Sudden Impact!, but the plot and story were a little lacking.

It was one of those subconscious jumbles of flicks I hadn’t seen in a long time, or never. It’s still so vivid in my brain pan that I could try to explain it to you, but it can’t be conveyed with any amount of clarity, so I’ll just make a stew of the images.

You can make up the story yourself.

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(SIDENOTE: The story was essentially this… Michael Pare was the tough guy at a college campus, and the nerd from Troll 2 was his roommate in a frat house like in Real Genius. The nerd invented this pink slime that he could put on his head to make him popular, or something, but his soul ended up leaving his body and going into the slime. So next, as the slime, he moved onto the sorority house and took the souls of girls in their shower room. Upon finding all this out, Michael Pare took the pink slime onto himself and he jumped out the window to his death, like in The Exorcist. The splat at the bottom was his – wait for it – Sudden Impact!)

In Defense Of… Ashton Kutcher

Posted on May 12, 2011 by sgottahurt

This is only my third In Defense Of post, so I haven’t fully developed my method of argument. But wait. I don’t really have a method for anything on this site. Moving on…

This time I want to come to Ashton Kutcher’s defense. Is he in need of arguments for him? Are you really asking that?

Dude, you're not helping.

REASONS WHY PEOPLE ~~HATE~~ DON’T LIKE HIM

Punk’d. He introduced not only this show, but this word, into the lexicon. Kiss “Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!” goodbye forever.
He made shitty movies. Where to begin. Um, Just Married, My Boss’s Daughter, Guess Who, A Lot Like Love, The Guardian, What Happens in Vegas, Spread, Valentine’s Day, and Killers.
He’s replacing Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men”. It’s not so much that he’s replacing Charlie Sheen… it’s that he’s helping Two and a Half Men stay on the air!

REASONS WHY I’M DEFENDING HIM

He was great as Kelso on “That 70’s Show”. In character, he once deadpanned this line to Jackie (Mila Kunis), in regard to jellybeans: “I ate all the white ones ’cause I know you don’t like things that taste white!” Classic.
He made some enjoyable movies. Love ’em or leave ’em, I really liked Dude, Where’s My Car! and the director’s cut of The Butterfly Effect. Dude, he strangled himself with an umbilical cord in the womb!
He’s produced some enjoyable TV. I wish I would have watched more of Beauty and the Geek, I’m sad there weren’t more episodes of Miss Guided, and I hope there’s another season of True Beauty.
He’s married to Demi Moore. Sure, she doesn’t look like (click here) anymore, but still…
This guy doesn’t seem to mind him, and that’s all right by me:

Or they like to smile when they fight. Either way.

So in closing, that’s five good reasons to defend him, over three reasons to hate on him. As one of the original Two Men once said over and over and over again, “Winning!”

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Day-O-Gimme-A-Break

Posted on May 10, 2011 by sgottahurt

This is a true Coinkydonk or Coinkydonk because it is a coincidence… or not.

Both Lil Wayne and Jason Derulo have recently released new singles that sample the same song! Sure, it’s different parts of the delightful ditty, Harry Belafonte’s Day-O, also known as The Banana Boat Song from Beetlejuice, but still.