Film

InASense, Lost… The Scarlett Test

Posted on by sgottahurt

I am curious.

That’s the name of two Swedish films from the 60’s (Blue and Yellow were their distinctions), and they were controversial for being sexual and frank about being sexual.

This post is going to be kind of like that.  As you may or may not have heard, nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson have leaked onto the TripleDoubleU, and I’m going to share them here… embedded of course.

I am curious how many hits this post will get.  I will keep you posted in the comments.

Picture 1 – Picture 2

This photo is here because it was the next best thing:

Cool socks.

(via)

In My Brain While Sleeping… Only in My Dreams

Posted on by sgottahurt

None of these were full dreams, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t share.

In one dream, I got to meet Debbie Gibson.  She lived in a dangerous town, and she almost sent me to my doom, but when I was sitting next to her, our knees touched.  Knees!

Sorry. This is Deborah Gibson.

Another dream featured the return of Olivia Munn to G4’s Attack of the Show.  They kicked her replacement, Candace Bailey, to the curb, because what else has Munn been up to?

Attack of the Show, indeed.

The last tidbit in my sleeping noggin was about Pauly D and his new hairstyle:

"Call me DJ Mullet."

monkeyFLASHmonkeyBACK… First Toy In Each Collection

Posted on by sgottahurt

Omigodomigodomigodomigod!  This post imagines what my blog might have looked like if I had one when certain things happened.  This edition takes us way back to 1995…

Omigodomigodomigodomigod!

I am loath to admit this, but I’ve literally dreamed of this day for years.  Or at least for the years that there were no new Star Wars action figures on the shelves of stores.

THERE ARE NEW STAR WARS ACTION FIGURES ON STORE SHELVES… er, I mean… HOOKS!

This is the first one I’ve purchased:

Imagine James Earl Jones saying: "This... is Chewbacca."

This got me recollecting (ha!) about the first toys in each of my collections.  Join me as I walk down memory lane…

  • 1985 – M.A.S.K.

Secret raiders working overtime fighting crime!

Let’s be honest – it’s not really been ten years since I’ve purchased toys.  Having a little brother to spoil means never having to stop.  But this is definitely the last collection I had that was my own, and it all started with Condor.  I remember asking for this, not even really knowing what it was.

  • 1984 – The Transformers

More than meets the eye!

I was dying to get any Transformer for what seemed like forever.  I really wanted Optimus Prime, but he cost twenty bucks!  Having read the giant-sized coloring book long before these figures were released, I really took a shine to Jazzz (he had three Z‘s in the coloring book).  The trick was this – my mom wasn’t too keen on me starting new collections that were similar to other one’s I started.  I already had Gobots, so Transformers were kind of off the radar… until my aunt took my sisters and I shopping.  I had the eight dollars it cost, and I begged her to let me buy it.  She used the payphone to double-check, and my mom relented.

  • 1983 – Gobots

We came out before Transformers!

Memories are fuzzy, and so it goes with this.  The way I recall it all, there were animated commercials advertising Transformers long before they came out.  AND THOSE COMMERCIALS BLEW MY EIGHT YEAR OLD MIND.  Robots that transformed into cars and planes and guns?  Sign me up!  Well, they were nowhere in sight, so the Gobots had to do.  And they did.  Until I got Jazz.  I still think Leader-1 was one of the best, but Gobots could never overcome their horrible names (Scooter the Scooter, Tank the Tank, Cop-Tur the Helicopter, Loco the Locomotive…)

  • 1980 (?) – LEGO

My first set

I don’t remember exactly when I started getting “big kid” LEGOS, but I know this was my first set.  The reason I say, “big kid,” is because when I first saw the LEGO spacemen at one of my parents’ friend’s houses prior to getting this set, that’s what I was told.

  • 1979 – Star Wars

Obviously, my figure said "Star Wars" - not ROTJ.

I distinctly (and weirdly) recall receiving this from Santa, and I was fascinated by this strange action figure.  Was he a space policeman?  He had a gun and a helmet.  Was he a space fireman?  He was wearing orange.  All I know is that I hadn’t seen the original film yet, and I was hooked.

I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE PREQUELS!

The Sh– To Just Sh–tier… Nooooo, George Lucas!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I’m not even going to delve deeper into my feelings on these changes George Lucas has made to the Blu-ray editions of the six Star Wars films.  All I can say is that with every change he makes, it justifies me keeping my old version… I mean, versions.

(This next one is actually okay…)

In Defense Of… Stick Figure Family Window Decals

Posted on by sgottahurt

This might be my most difficult In Defense Of yet.  Out of everything I’ve defended, I’ve found a silver lining.  But these things – I hate these things:

Revenge of the Son of the "Baby On Board" Signs, Part 2

And that’s just what it is, right?  It’s the latest parental fad, like those old Baby on Board signs:

Baby, I'm Bored...

They’re pointless and annoying.  All this coming from the guy that’s defended the dislikes of Justin Beiber!

So where do I begin?

Really?

They’re pointless.

So I’m going to have to dig deep within and point out a point.

Got it!

They’re ripe for comedy.  Check out this (possibly tasteless) video:

If people used these for comedic purposes rather than boastful, we might see the likes of this:

Could be a single lady's possible future...

Or maybe celebrities could get in on the trend to kill it:

Neil Patrick Harris' Family

Octomom (less the rest of her brood) or Kate Gosselin

Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus

I fear I’ve failed this In Defense Of, and this is what I should get:

JusWondering… Why Did Rappers Pick Those Names?

Posted on by sgottahurt

What do these two items have in common?

They are the very items that Tracy Marrow and O’Shea Jackson chose to name themselves after.

"We like our beverages very cold!"

Everyone knows what Ice-T and Ice Cube were like back-in-the-day, and what they are like now-in-the-day.

Ice-T is James Bonding; Ice Cube is family bonding.

I just think it’s strange that in the earliest stages of their careers, they chose to name themselves after the above items.

old school mr t

Or in Ice-T's case, maybe this guy.

I was thinking if they wanted to there are plenty of other ice names they could have went with:

  • Ice Corpse
  • Ice Knife
  • Ice Bullet
  • Ice Rink

Okay, maybe they are all that great, but what would you think of this music group:

vanilla ice strawberry shortcake tay zonday

Neo-POP-litan!

Coinkydink Or Coinkydonk? Remake To The X-Treme!

Posted on by sgottahurt

I really wanted to write about how Prudential’s new billboards look like Taco Bell’s less crazy ones, but I couldn’t find any good pictures (nor did I feel like getting into an accident on the freeway) to make a point-counterpoint.

Prudential's Billboards' Sayings

Taco Bell's Crazier Style Billboard

Taco Bell's Tamer Billboard With Wrong Color Scheme

Every time I see the yellow-on-purple wisecrack statement, I think it’s an ad for my primary nutritional source.  But again, I don’t have any evidence.  You’ll have to trust me.

Instead, I’ll deal with the remake of Footloose… or at least their previews.

I’ve never seen either film, so my experience with each is limited.  But based on what is revealed in each preview, the remake is a REMAKE! to the fullest extent.  Aside from dead kids causing a dancing ban, and an amping-up of elements (choreography, exploding buses, faster suicide train runs, and a much prettier lead actress), the new Footloose looks exactly the same.

  • New
  • Old

If you want an example of how to make better remake, check this out:

In My Brain While Sleeping… The Future Of The Marvel Universe

Posted on by sgottahurt

After waking from this dream, I thought:

Cool.

It was the future in the Marvel Universe, and the Milky Way Galaxy was no longer known as that – it was now the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Be sure to visit the planet of Compton.

The heroes were wanted dead by their enemies, more than usual, so they placed themselves in giant cosmic cube (not the Cosmic Cube) in space, away from Earth.  In fact, Earth was hidden in between folds of time.  The Sentry was the hero in charge, and if you never heard of him, barely have I.  (I don’t know how he ended up in my dream.)

Guess who this is?

Fed up with holing themselves up, a nearly invincible hero (Wolverine?) that has lived for 1000 years wants to rally against the forces keeping the heroes trapped in the cube.

He asks the leaders (including The Sentry) to reinstate the last wave of Iron Men (they’ve all been mechanical for a while now).

The Sentry is the only one to see the light, so he allows the mission.

This is the point when a phone call woke me up.  So I should have mentioned my full statement:

Cool.

Fuck.

Awful Battle… Creepy Celebs Sharing Their Love

Posted on by sgottahurt

Some would argue that celebrities are people.  I say, if corporations can be people, why not the Hollywood elite.

It’s just that sometimes, when they are themselves, their real selves aren’t all that alluring…

Sometimes, their down right creepy.  Take a gander and tell me what you think?

Happy Find… The Rocketeer As A Cartoon?

Posted on by sgottahurt

This could be the greatest thing never made (into an actual show):

The Rocketeer is one of my all-time favorite films, and following the 20th Anniversary of its release, coupled with director Joe Johnston’s success with Captain America: First Avenger, there has been talk of a long-awaited live-action sequel.

I say cartoon is the way to go.  You can still use the original Actors! (or at least close enough sounding ones), instead of recasting or rebooting the series.  (Can it be a series if there was only one?)

Could a TV show fly?  Perhaps with a little gum…