A Handful Of… Toys I Always Wanted To Exist

As a kid, was a skid, and no one knew me by name.  Trashed my own house party ‘cuz nobody came.

Oops, I’m already off topic…

As a kid, there were a few toys that never existed that I always wish existed.  Shall we reminisce together?


Everybody had a friend that had one.

Call it a choking hazard, call it natural selection, these toys never made it market.  But I swear I knew a kid– ah, forget it.


Thank T-Bob the fan-fic pic is clean.

I’m not sure why this toy was never made.  It’s not like Kenner hadn’t made other water vehicles, or other female action figures (Vanessa Warfield).


Wasn't this supposed to be close to market fifteen years ago? How about in five from now?

After the time travelling DeLorean, of course, there was not much more I wanted from the Back to the Future films.


Scary. but fun...

…that, or his girlfriend…

Jenny, Jenny...


The only book that could be a toy...

*Costume better be included…


Doesn't look like much fun now, but neither does a deflated balloon.

If I have to explain this one, I don’t care to know you.  Good day!

7) “THE TOY”

Sorry, I had to...

In My Brain While Sleeping… Tweaking Existing Toylines

Those that claim to know me might say that I’m a child at heart.  Those that really know me would call me an overgrown child.  According to my subconscious, I have the mind of a child.  I prefer to say I’m living the 13 year-old me’s dream…

This set of dreams involved a pair of toy collections that I’ve previously mentioned on this post, but were sort of blended together.  It was the Lego Batman video game, and though I haven’t played it in a while, that did not prevent me from dreaming that there was a Batman toy collection that was kind of like a model train town set (Exhibit A) and a bit like Playmobil (Exhibit B).

Tiny figurines representing each of the characters could be purchased, as well as scenery components, and you could assemble a miniature Gotham City similar to Exhibit C.  I guess there’s a toy line called Imaginext that’s kind of like what I envisioned (Exhibit D), but I still imagine(xt) something much darker…

Where the other half of the Lego Batman connection ends up has nothing to do with a Lego town (Exhibit E).  It’s more like the Marvel Legends action figure collection (Exhibit F).  Every Lego set you purchased could be put together (or should I say combined because of course Lego sets are put together) with other Lego sets to make bigger predisposed items.  Again, not like Exhibit E, but like how Galactus is assembled in Exhibit F.

You see, Galactus’ head comes with Professor X, and other pieces of him are packaged along with five other figures in that series.  So if you buy all six figures, you can make Galactus.  That’s how the Lego sets worked…

Never mind.

You’re adults… you don’t understand.

InASense, Lost… A Pole Dancer Doll? I Give Up

Put a fork in me.  I’m done.  No seriously.  I’m totally cooked in inside, or roasted, or toasted, or melty gooey.  Forget the fork; get a pitchfork. 

Even though it’s not available here (although lest we forget, we still have Bratz Dolls… go hourglass figure), this still exists in the world:


Are the coke habit and bastard child being watched by mom sold separately?

Naive me first thought that the doll might be this kind of Poll Dancer: 


"I'm taking a survey... It'll cost you $1 per answer."

Even if it’s culturally insensitive (but it’s okay to say because I am one), this would have been an acceptable Pole Dancer toy: 


The Polish are good at four things: dancing, drinking, and counting.

I mean, with that doll existing, what’s the worst that could happen? 


Are there enough pitchforks to go-go around?

Happy Find… Robot Party Because The Humans Are Dead?

In honor, anticipation, and fear of desperate loathing for next week’s release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, here are some of the film’s stars in what could quite possibly be the best robot song ever…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Happy Find… Robot Party“, posted with vodpod


Well, maybe that’s the second best.  You be the judge.

(There are more tags than words in this post.  Hee hee!)

Happy Find… Robot Penguins, Living Walls, And Cracked-Out Construx Thingees

It’s another dial-up day, so pardon the brevity of the post.  But do know this – Robot Penguins will always be a Happy Find, no matter my connection speed.

Also Happy Find worthy:

  • Flying Robot Penguins
  • Light Bulb Changing Claws (okay, well maybe not these)
  • Living Walls
  • Interactive Cube Thingees That Look Like Cracked-Out Construx Toys

For those uninitiated in all-things-Construx:

Legos were for nerds... Construx was for bigger nerds.

Legos were for nerds... Construx was for bigger nerds.

 (pic via ThisOldToybecause RetroJunk is a dick)