But as per usual, if something shakes me at my core (or in this case makes me shiver in my Snuggie), I must stand atop my mountain blog and proclaim it to the world to inform and warn about it. This time, it’s the Snuggie Sutra.
Based on the Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian sex guide (like how The Joy of Sexbent over spoofed The Joy of Cooking… and the Kama Sutra), the Snuggie Sutra offers up suggestions for couples, depending upon whether you’re blue or pink, or your Snuggie is blue or pink (or green or zebra), it looks… hot.
And I don’t mean the way you think… **
Me typing in my Snuggie (watching the Colbert Report)
I wouldn’t exactly say that I’ve been around the block (although technically, as a child, I rode my bike around the block a ton… I don’t know what I want this metaphor to mean!).
Let me begin instead with this: I’m for all intents and purposes (or is it “intensive purposes?”)…
I’m a bar frequenter. An aficionado of affordable alcohol. If you have drink specials, considered a seat filled. It’s been this way for me for quite awhile, as I haven’t been tied down by much of anything. Tumbling tumbleweed is how I often refer to my life.
It’s better than swallowing goldfish when drunk. Barely.
Apparently, this is not a new practice either. It (seems to have) started back in Utah, as long ago as 2004 (whooohoooo), and it’s been a subject of controversy since it’s inception. A press release by the Humane Society:
Words, words, words...
There are a few styles practiced. There’s the squirt gun style, as seen in the above video. Some people use straws, and they blow above or below the water, depending on the arena. And of course, some guy in Japan’s turned it into an art form… not unlike NASCAR:
Why do I bring this all up, you ask? As we were leaving one of the bars I frequent, a friend mentioned he saw a sign saying something about goldfish racing. I laughed and thought he was making it up, yet here’s this post.
How’s that for a headline? Can’t you just hear the newsiessinging screaming that one? As it turns out, two weekends ago I went to NYC for a Snuggie Pub Crawl (and also met a friend). This weekend, I went to Seattle to visit a friend… and almost went on a Snuggie Pub Crawl!
"Pub Crawl or Bust!" - soon to be printed on the front of my Snuggie
Alas, my travelling compadres on this latest sojourn weren’t too keen on picking up some “Slankets” (as they were referred to on last week’s 30 Rock), and we opted for traditional bar hopping, which was just as well. Albeit Seattle was a tad cooler than New York the week prior (making “blankets with sleeves” more comfy), which is ironic, because NYC is simply ‘cooler.’ No offense, Seattle, but no other city can compete.
SIDENOTE: Whenever I use the word ironic, I’m always afraid I’ll pull an Alanis. Am I alone in regard to this ‘worry?’
BONUS SIDENOTE: I’d say the biggest difference between the East and West Coasts (or at least New York and Seattle) is what follows the prefix hip-… Do you prefer –sters or –pies?
Anywashington, the trip was a great time. To conserve my energy, which is a euphemism for I’m feeling lazy today, here are some pics I took with explanatory captions.
Snuggies have taken pop culture by storm, and in this case, a baby hostage.
I know thought I’ve written about them before, and I know thought I’ve posted this video before (it’s a shame when you can’t even find shit on your site), but here we go again for the first time(?):
But how does one even go about putting on a Baby Snuggie? It has to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen AND one of the worst ideas on top of that! Think about it. Babies make stinkies a lot… and unless you’re a fan of Dutch ovens (no, not that link – this one), do you really want to wear a sweater that captures that scent? And uh, if you have a baby attached to your hipchest, how are you going to challenge those Muay Thai fighters and save the rec center?
Now I’m not knocking Snuggies on all accounts. There are pub crawls held for good causes that require participants be cloaked in the backwards robes. I may even participate in one… Who’s thinkin’ drink specials?
I’m just wondering what the next comfort craze will be. Perhaps this?