JusWondering… Will This Be My Only Gag About The Oscars?

I’m totally writing this to steal someone else’s joke.  I’ll give credit to my sister’s friend I don’t know, but that’s as far as I can go.

At this year’s Oscars, Sofia Loren looked like a deep-fried lioness.

I’d add minus the breading, but I digress.  God, answer me one question – why Lisa Rinna AND Joey Fatone?  One’s bad, but both?!

Happy Deep Fried Twinkie Day!

Happy Deep Fried Twinkie Day!

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JusWondering… What Superpower Would You Like To Have?

From time to time, I like playing “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” with my friends.  It’s usually the guys who participate, but the ladies have as well.  To play, you usually have to rule out the standards of the comics industry, like your Superman’s, your Spider-Man’s, and any of the X-Men.  Only straight-up special abilities are allowed.  For instance, last night’s trio of options:

  1. Indestructibility
  2. Invisibility
  3. Flight

Indestructibility was chosen by most (myself included, at first… I’m so wishy-washy).  It was decided that this allowed you an extent of fearlessness that would bolster you upon whatever life path you wanted.  Whether it be in business, in sports, or on the battlefield, you could be all you could be.

Invisibility was looked at as a shady route, which it most likely would be.  You’re given the ability to be sneaky and spy, to be a pervert, or to be a master thief.  No one selected this option… out loud.

Flight was a moot point, until my friend Devin interjected that it would be the most freeing.  He suggested that life would be a little less stressful if you could get up and go when the world was getting you down.  This got me thinking that I wanted Flight powers as well, because it too would provide you with an extra boost of confidence to accomplish more in this world.

Plus, how cool would it be to show up at the Red Carpet of the Academy Awards show, flying around, screaming, “Look at me!  Look at me!”  You’d take all the attention away from the glory hounds of Hollywood (but you’d probably also get shot down to be taken and examined, so… maybe not).

Here I come!

Here I come!

Devin also wondered if Indestructibility also provided some level of Immortality, because as he saw it, if the world blew up, you’d be stuck floating in space for forever.  I responded by stating you probably wouldn’t be the only one in the entire planet that had this ability, which then brought the whole discussion crashing down.  I guess the game of “What Superpower Would You Like to Have?” isn’t as Indestructible as I thought.

The Curious Case Of Dark Knight’s Snubbing (And Kate Winslet’s Nudity)

The nominations for this year’s Academy Awards came out today, and while a lot of other better informed, better thought-out, better written sites will have their two cents to suck on and hope they pass the Breathalyzer, here’s my wheat penny’s worth.

Um, hello…?  The Dark Knight anybody?  Sure, Heath Ledger received his well-deserved posthumous nomination for his portrayal/reinvention of the Joker, but where’s the Best Picture nod?  This film was hands down a surefire contender, if not the absolute best.  I thought the original Batman Beginswas award-worthy, and the sequel was ten times smarter, darker, and realistic than, gah, well I guess The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Slumdog Millionaire (the other three are based on true stories, and we all know that’s code for loose adaptation). 

Don’t get me wrong – I love David Fincher and Danny Boyle (Trainspotting – ‘natch), and I’m happy to see them nominated as well, but where’s Chris Nolan’s nod?  And although I found Slumdog to be fascinating and worthy, Button kinda bit it.  I wanted to love the film, like I do Fight Club and Seven, but the intercutting between “Katrina’s coming” New Orleans and the overwhelming similarity to Forrest Gump (which screenwriter Eric Roth also scripted) sank it for me.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “The Curious Case of Forrest Gump from…“, posted with vodpod

 

 

 

OTHER WHEAT PENNIES:

I am glad that Martin McDonagh got nominated for writing In Bruges.  My friend, Chris, had recommended checking it out before I visited Belgium last year, and I wish I had… Bruges looked like a dream, except you’re awake (check out the film – it’s awesome).

Holla at Robert Downey, Jr!  Nominated not only for a role in a comedy film, but for wearing black face in Tropic Thunder.  Whodathunk?

WALL-E got nominated for Best Animated Feature.  WHOOPT-E FUCK-N DO.  Why should Beauty and the Beast continue to carry the distinction of the only animated film nominated for Best Picture when this (and Finding Nemo) blow it away?

In closing… my friend, Dave, asked if I had seen The Reader yet.  I had told him I hadn’t, but I heard Kate Winslet was nude in it, to which he replied, “When is she not?”  I dubbed her the female Harvey Keitel, and he did a spit-take with his coffee. 

Finis.

JusWondering… Tony Danza – Better Oscar Host Than Hugh Jackman?

This could have been In My Brain While Sleeping, but it may have occurred to me more as I was waking up: Tony Danza, famous for playing characters named Tony, should host the Academy Awards this year instead of Hugh Jackman.

Not to knock Wolverine off his high horse, but I think it’s time for this amicable, consummate entertainer to get his crack at another day.   Sure, “The Tony Danza Show” had it’s many flaws, but what about “Taxi” (the show not the flick)?  Who can forget the gender battleground that was “Who’s the Boss?”  And then there’s, um, always “Hudson Street“…

Plus, he’s been in film, and that’s a requirement to host the Oscars (David Letterman squeaked by with a cameo in “Cabin Boy“).  I’ll always remember Tony’s stunning performance in “She’s Out of Control!”

So in the end, do you want this?

When you can have this?

Reporter lady – what do you think?